


Twist the Knife

by NiteOwlNest



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Durins die, F/M, Feels, Fili and Kili are adorable though, Humor, Modern mostly, Romance, Slow Burn, Thorin's being stubborn, and wake back up on Earth, but when is he not, though partly Middle-earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-02-15 21:07:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 66,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13039422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiteOwlNest/pseuds/NiteOwlNest
Summary: Three dwarves babbling about orcs and dying in another world crash into Holly’s life and home, literally. The royal line of Durin is trapped on Earth, and Holly must help them get back to where they belong.





	1. Someone's At the Door

I need some friends, I thought to myself as I pushed my way through the creaky screen door and into my cabin. Houch, the "aggressive" cropped-eared pit bull from the rescue, trotted in behind me, his tail wagging and tongue flopping around from within his wide smile. He stopped on the mat to shake off the cold snowflakes that had gathered on his back from our walk home. His wide brown eyes stared up at me, impatience twinkling in them as he silently asked for dinner as usual. Well, at least I have the dog.

With my boots next to the front door, I padded in thick wool socks across the hardwood floor toward the kitchen with my hands cupped around my mouth, setting my keys and wallet on the table beside the couch where they always went. The lamp was bright in the twilight-smothered room, and I flipped on the TV for noise. I kept my hoody on, waiting for the heat to kick in after fiddling with the unit dial. This place took forever to return to life. It was such a treat when it finally did. The three bulbs above the kitchen table blinked on, allowing me to see the way into the cupboard where I kept Houch's food. He was on it before I could finish pouring a scoop into the bowl, the hog. I patted his head like I did at every meal, a recommendation from the vet that would curb his food possessiveness and one I whole-heartedly agreed with. He barely even looked at me, something my tooth-scarred hand from the early days was pleased about. As he gobbled up his kibble, I set about fixing my own. I had some lettuce I needed to use and barely a sprinkle of shredded cheese left. A burger sounded heavenly, but a salad would have to do for tonight. So I washed my hands and took to mixing the ingredients to a bland, healthy Caesar salad.

The nightly routine.

With my food, I hopped up onto the tabletop and watched the weather for tomorrow roll along the screen. The call had been sent out for snow before I left for work, and usually I'm not very inclined to believe them when they talk like it's the storm of the century. Sure enough, while in the middle of cleaning out stalls in the barn, the sky opened up with a full-on assault. For a few moments, complete white-out conditions took over the barnyard, which led to the extremely rapid accumulation now covering the ground with only a few dead leaves poking out. Mr. Harper had me blanket all the horses and conjure up some warm bran mash for them all, a rarity for him. If he thinks it'll be too cold for the horses to go without blankets, then bad weather must be coming in. The old man's a better meteorologist than any dude in a tie with a degree. Can only get that from someone who's lived in the middle of nowhere all his life relying on nothing but experience. For this girl living deep in the mountains with a spotty cell reception at best, he's a godsend.

By the time I was done eating my rabbit food, the heat had just become sufficient to shed my layers. I tossed my hoody onto the porch swing, wanting the house to smell like my scented candles rather than all the animals I snuggled up to for warmth this evening. I stripped off my jeans, too, putting them in the basket for tomorrow's wash and remaining in just my leggings and t-shirt. By the time I had surfaced from the laundry cubby in the hallway, snowflakes had begun to drift to the ground again through my porch light. The amazing mountain view I had would soon be obscured by the heavy blizzard, and the gravel road leading up here would be covered by morning. Well, what's the use in having friends if you can't even get out to go see them? Grabbing a bag of chips and a Coke from the fridge, I settled onto the couch with Houch's head on my knee and a Marvel movie on the TV.

 _Thunk._ I nearly jumped to the ceiling, startling my dog into falling onto the floor. My wide eyes stared at the front door, waiting with bated breath. That was a _big_ thump. Too heavy for a squirrel (they sometimes slide off my metal roof when it's wet). It was as if somebody had dropped a huge, heavy box right onto the porch. Or a giant fish flopped up there. _What?_ The hour was much too late for a package I wasn't anticipating, and there was no way a delivery truck would be climbing gravel mountain roads just before a storm. I grabbed the old cane my uncle left me when he and my aunt moved out of this house and crept toward the door. My shotgun was in the kitchen. I just needed to rush in there and...

" _Aah_!"

I have never heard a scream like that. It was so wracked with pain, I would not be surprised if there was a murder happening on my front porch right now. There was another shout that surely echoed down the road. I grabbed my gun and jogged toward the door, peaking through the blinds of the window right next to it. Beneath the light on the wall outside, a blond figure lay on my welcome mat, rolling around and arching his back as he gripped at some invisible force on the back of his neck. His teeth were gritted so hard I thought they'd crack, and his eyes were scrunched as tightly as they could go. But I saw no blood, anywhere. Sweeping the yard beyond the porch rail, I opened the screen door and then the wood door to venture out into the cold.

The man at my feet continued to writhe in pain, groaning and panting against whatever he was feeling. He was dressed in leather and chainmail, and his long sandy hair was pulled back by braids. If he hadn't been in so obvious distress, I would've outright laughed at the little braids dangling from his upper lip. In fact, I was on the verge of breaking into hysterics at what looked to be a guy in a very convincing Renaissance costume lying at my door. But I needed to get him calmed down and get some answers. Checking around one more time for any intruders waiting in the dark, I knelt down beside him and touched his shoulder. "Hey."

His head nearly crashed into mine as he bolted upright, thick hand wrapped tightly around my wrist. There was enough potential force in that grip to snap it. I almost toppled into his lap from surprise, but managed to grip his knee and keep myself up. From my position, I looked up into a pair of beautiful blue eyes. But what was most striking about them was the horror and pain reflected back at me. I could only imagine such a look could be seen in the face of a soldier coming back from war, seeing the explosions and the faces of his dead comrades in his sleep. So haunted for such a young face. I couldn't help my soothing voice. "Easy there. You're okay."

He whipped around frantically, as if looking for something, the other hand not gripping my wrist clenched onto the leather lapels of his coat. Then he looked down at it, wincing. After a moment, he raised his eyes back to mine, those beauties narrowed at me in utter bewilderment. "What happened? Where are the orcs?"

 _In "World of Warcraft."_ But I kept my thoughts to myself and tried to retrieve my hand from his. "I don't know what you're talking about, but there's nothing like that here."

He glanced around the front of my house as if really seeing it for the first time. He looked lost with the echo of fear still deep in his gaze. "Where's the...and...what?" Finally, he realized he was still holding onto me and released my protesting limb. Then he sat there, his hands resting between his legs and his shoulders slumped forward, scanning the area once more with a tear-jerking mixture of sorrow and confusion in his eyes. I wanted to take his hand back and squeeze. "Where am I?"

"Asheville," I told him plainly. "Well, outside of it. You're a good ways into the middle of nowhere."

His lips formed the city soundlessly, and he glared at the ground as if the name would come back to him from deep in his memory. It didn't. "How did I get here?"

Now it was my turn to look around, waiting for the pranksters to come take this poor man to the hospital. Or me. In my observation, I nearly choked when I found that there were no boot prints in the snow. It was dark, and although the snow had lightened since leaving work, it surely would not have covered large impressions like what his feet would make. _For Pete's sake, what is going on_? "You just...appeared."

He shook his head in frustration, twisting around to place his hands beneath him and rise up on shaky legs. He cried out, though, reaching for his back again. "Am I bleeding?"

I looked around him, just beneath his shoulder blades where his fingers were clawing at, but there was nothing. "Unless it's inside your clothes, no."

He growled, forcing his legs to work. "I should be."

All right. I stayed out of his way as he seemed perfectly capable of standing on his own, but waited nearby in case he fell. If he thought he should be bleeding, then it may turn out that I'd have to drag him into the house. _Into my house._ There's no way I can take him to the hospital with the weather turning like this, especially since it was almost an hour down the mountain. Dear God, I hope he wasn't bleeding. "Should we make sure you aren't?"

"I was stabbed. If there is no hole in my clothes, there is nothing there." Yet each movement seemed to cause him pain. Maybe he broke a rib and that was causing him to feel like he'd been stabbed. That meant internal bleeding, which was _really_ bad. I was still wary about why he would have been stabbed. "This is not Aule's Halls, is it?"

Tentatively, I shook my head, fighting the urge to point him toward Rome in hopes that he'd find whatever god's temple he was looking for.

"Of course not," he muttered, leaning against the wood post by the steps. "Why would a woman of Men be there anyway?" He reached back and gripped his hair, staring off into the darkness as distress returned to his face. "Why am _I_ not there?"

This boy in front of me looked desperately in need of comfort, but I knew I couldn't give it to him. Whatever he was looking for, it was not here and I felt bad for his disappointment. But there was still something I could offer him, as he had not lost the ashen color to his skin since I first saw him. "Want to come in and warm up? It'll be better to think by the fire than out here in the snow."

The anger and sadness melted away from his face, leaving behind a weariness made pleasant by a soft smile. "Yes, that would be nice, thank you." As he followed me into the house, I realized something very important that I had not noticed before. All along, he had been hunched over in his attempt to keep consciousness, possibly fighting off dizziness. As that was, I did not notice that, even when not hunched over, he was still a good couple of inches shorter than me. That was definitely not something I was accustomed to. As a girl of five feet and two inches, I had been staring up at men and many women for years. To have what looked to be an adult male be so much shorter than me was a new experience.

Not only was I nearly choking on laughter at the way his mustache swayed as he walked, but the size of his ears had also been brought to my attention. They stuck out from within his gold locks, rounder than any I've ever seen. Orcs, he mentioned? Could this be...? Okay, reel it in, girl. You're losing it.

"Uh, coffee?" I asked politely because that was what you did when you had house guests, wasn't it? I don't have house guests, especially ones that drop onto my front porch from thin air.

He nodded. "If it's not too much trouble, I feel like I have not eaten in days."

I bobbed my head back at him. "Sure thing." Looking into the pantry that was severely lacking in supplies for someone about to be snowed in for a couple days, I pulled out a packet of beef jerky because everyone likes beef jerky, no matter where they're from. Unless he's a vegetarian. Nope, he does not look like a vegetarian. "Is jerky fine?"

"I would be grateful for anything." He accepted the offering with a smile, setting it aside to remove his boots. I was hoping I didn't have to tell him. As he settled into that task, I returned to the kitchen and started up the coffee pot.

"So, uh, do you remember what happened to you before you ended up on my front porch?"

With his shoes removed, he walked into the kitchen, scrutinizing the place with intrigue more than judgment. There was still apprehension, though, and I wondered if he would be comfortable enough to talk with me, a stranger. He bit into a chunk of jerky thoughtfully, staring at Houch as he chewed. "I..."

"If you don't, it's fine. Or if you don't want to say, that's cool, too. I just wanted to make sure you didn't have amnesia or something."

"No, I...I remember." That haunted look returned to his eyes, and I kind of regretted bringing it up. What else was I supposed to do? Whatever the real reason was behind him showing up here, the guy was clearly out of it and genuinely bewildered by everything. I couldn't make him figure all this out himself when he was clearly lost. "I was fighting a war." He looked up onto the counter, tilting his head at my phone. "A battle to protect my new home. My brother and I..." He paused, swallowing thickly. "We were sent to scout out the enemy's outpost, but I...I was captured and..."

"Killed?"

He nodded, suddenly looking much younger than he had before. So, he's a ghost? But I could touch him. He was solid when he landed on the porch, and as he held my jerky between his hands. How could he be a ghost? "I was stabbed in the back, and then I was falling. I don't remember hitting the stone of Ravenhill. I landed on wood. Your porch." He winced again, involuntarily reaching around to his back.

"Do you want me to check and make sure you're not...still hurt?"

He shook his head. "The pain is fading. I do not feel anything there. It is just an ache, like a memory."

The coffee maker finished growling, and I poured us both a cup. He sipped it generously, holding it with both hands. This whole time, I could tell he was continuously fighting the urge to shiver. His clothes didn't look comfortable. "Want a blanket?"

"I am fine." He leaned back against the counter, examining the walls in my living room. He seemed particularly intrigued with the TV. "You have a lovely home."

"Thanks. It was my aunt and uncle's place. They rented it out to vacationers for a time before they decided to retire out. Thankfully, it was around the time I was looking for a house of my own. They threw in a rent rate I couldn't resist, so here I am, living the dream. What was this new home you were fighting for like?" Small talk seemed to bring him out of whatever trance he fell into.

He smiled warmly. "Like everything I had ever dreamed of. It was our ancestral home, a place where several generations of our people were housed. It was stolen from us, and we had finally regained it from the thief when others tried to come in and take it as well. It was during that battle that I fell. I can only hope my family survived."

We stood in silence for a time, watching the snow pile onto the railing outside and listening to the heat humming. It was comfortable, allowing us to drink our coffee in peace for a moment as I tried to wrack my brain for an explanation to what is going on. I wasn't stupid. In fact, I consider myself very open-minded. So when the obvious is staring in my face, I can't very well ignore it, can I? It seemed so cliché, to just accept it. But what choice did I have when there was no earthly explanation for this? "What's your name?"

He set his mug aside, hugging himself tightly. "Fili, ma'am."

"If you don't mind me asking, Fili, where do you come from?"

He looked around the room. "It's safe to say we do not live in the same world. I come from Middle-earth, in which is an underground city called Erebor, the Lonely Mountain."

Nope, that is definitely not anywhere near this side of the galaxy. Oh, boy. He was so sure of himself, too. Not a single nervous habit emerging from this guy. His appearance is like nothing I'd ever seen before, except maybe ancient Scandinavia. What were those creatures that Vikings believed in that have spread to cultures all around the world in various forms? Short men with beards that carried around axes and mined in the earth? Right.

Out of the blue, Houch started growling, staring with his menacing bully gaze at the staircase leading to the loft and my bedroom. Fili reached for his belt, groping aimlessly as if looking for the weapon that had most likely been there when he died. "Does anyone else live here?"

"Just me," I told him, wondering when I had acquired visitors of the paranormal variety. As far I knew, there were no deaths in this house. Would my aunt and uncle disclose that to me? Doubt it. They're of a different kind. I walked over to the snarling dog, taking hold of his collar and following his gaze toward the top of the staircase. "What is it, boy? There's nothing there." I looked down at him, petting his head to try to calm him down, but when I looked up, there was something draped over the stairs near the top, something that wasn't there before. It looked like a body.

"Kili!" Fili shouted, running through the living room and scrambling up the steps. I followed him, thinking only one thing: _not again._ Another man that hadn't been there a second ago and certainly made no noise in his appearance. Didn't fall down the stairs or up. Just...there. I gripped my hair, thinking I surely had passed out in the snow on my way home.

Fili lifted the dark-haired boy onto his lap, holding his face between his hands and patting his cheek softly. "Come on, little brother. Wake up. You're all right now. Come on." At the same time, tears began to trickle down his hairy cheeks. If his brother was here in the same manner he was, that could only mean one thing. He had died as well. Fili was undoubtedly watching the horrors that could have happened in his absence playing out before his eyes. The raw emotion on his face knocked the wind out of me.

Finally, the young boy cradled in his arms gasped out a deep breath, dark eyes growing large as he grasped at his chest. "Tauriel!" He started tearing at the leather and mail unsuccessfully with his fingers, looking for the source of pain.

Fili grabbed his hands, holding them securely between his own. " _Nadith_ , it's all right. You are not hurt anymore. You are just fine."

Lungs heaving, Kili stared back up at him, and in that one moment, I could see a sibling bond I had never witnessed before. There was so much love and trust in that gaze that only the closest of brothers could have. I was envious of it for a moment, for me and my now estranged sister had shared something similar. From my perch at the bottom of the stairs, keeping Houch away from the newcomer, I watched both their faces light up with pure joy. "Fili!" Kili cried, slinging his arms around the blond's neck and holding tightly. Fili squeezed back, burying his face in the other's shoulder. "Oh, Fili, I thought you were dead. I...thought _I_ was dead."

Fili pulled back, grasping a handful of the brown hair about the length of his own. "Kili, we are. I died, and I woke up here. How...how did you die?"

A snarl replaced the happiness on the younger one's face. "Bolg. I almost had him, Fili. I was so close to..."

"Shh." Fili embraced him again, shushing him as Kili started trembling. "It is over now. Everything is fine."

When Kili slipped back out of the hug once again, his eyes finally landed on me. The fear and anger disappeared, and he smiled. "Who's this?"

Fili quirked an eyebrow at me, and I realized I had only gained his name. "Holly."

Kili sniffed, rubbing his wet eyes with the heels of his palms before descending the stairs and holding out a hand. I let him take mine, expecting a shake, but what I got was actually a kiss on the knuckle. "Kili, son of Dis, at your service, Miss Holly."

Well, I see which one is the charming, flirty one. Because every pair of brothers needs the extremes of both ends of the spectrum to balance each other out. "Uh, thank you. It's nice to meet you. Welcome to my house."

Kili looked around, suddenly a little sheepish. "Well, thank you for letting me in."

I giggled, gesturing with my hand because there's no reason to deny insanity anymore when it's clearly come to take you. Embrace it, I say! "Come on. You look cold. There's still some coffee left." As I set about fixing his mug, Fili filled him in on what happened with his own arrival, mixing in a few things that I told him. As I watched them, I could only smile. There was something adorable about the younger brother being much taller than the older. Kili was actually almost my height, maybe two or three inches shorter, and he was thinner than the other. Tall and lanky. Seems dwarves had even those tropes amongst them.

"And where exactly is this Asheville?" he asked politely after Fili told him what city we were in.

Better keep the geography lesson simple. "In a mountain range called the Appalachians. It's on the eastern coast of a much, much bigger continent."

"That may explain why we wound up here specifically," Fili mused, "considering we were in the eastern region of our world."

"And on a mountain," Kili added. "But that still doesn't explain why we landed here and not in the Halls of Mahal."

Fili turned sorrowful again. "Unless we were, for some reason, barred from entering. The curse of Durin's line. Can we even say whether or not our fathers had entered into Mahal's domain?"

Kili scrunched his eyes, trying to come up with some argument, but it fell flat and he looked to his feet. I glanced between the two, hoping one of them would save me from my overwhelming curiosity. Fili smiled. "Our maker, Aule."

"Eh." Kili glared at him.

"She deserves to know after all she's done for us. Besides, it's not like the maker of the dwarves is much of a secret in Middle-earth." He turned back to me. "I'm afraid telling you much more would be blasphemous."

I shrugged. "Who am I going to tell? In this world, dwarves are a myth so I'd be labeled crazy for even suggesting two men who just happen to be on the short side with big ears might've escaped Snow White's house."

They both stared as if I'd grown another head. Nope, definitely not from Snow White. Kili puffed his chest out. "So you're saying that there are no dwarves here?"

I shook my head. "Not like you."

"How about elves?"

I snorted, because even though I knew what kind of elves usually inhabited fantasy stories, all I could picture were Santa's famous little helpers who would quite possibly be the same size as these guys or smaller. Again, I shook my head. "No wizards or dragons or fairies or any of that fun stuff, sadly."

"No orcs either, I'm assuming," Fili sighed, looking relieved. "There's one good thing. Just humans who think we are a myth. Sounds dull."

"It is, trust me." Now, no longer. I had two dwarves in my kitchen, one sneaking off toward the living room to stare at the TV in wonder. At this point, I was giving up on waking up because clearly, this was a thing that was happening and I had no idea what to do about it. Neither did these guys. Oh, my stars, what am I going to do?

"What weird magic," Kili whispered as he tentatively reached out to touch the face of a woman on the screen.

"Not magic. Just science." I reached for the remote and flickered through channels, watching with a smile at the awe on the young boy's face.

"And I thought dwarves were far advanced." Fili had stuck his hand into the fridge, pulling it back in surprise when he met the cold.

"We are far out of the city, actually, so things are much simpler here. If you took a trip a few miles west, you'd find a whole different world."

"Could we?" Kili asked eagerly. Then he caught himself. "It may help us find answers."

I chewed on my lip. It was true that they could simply pass as short men. After all, dwarfism is actually a thing here. But those people tended to draw attention. What if they drew the wrong kind of attention?

"I think that's a no, Kili," Fili answered, watching my face. "We know nothing about this world. It may be safer if we stay in hiding for a time until we figure something out."

I lifted my hands. "Sorry."

"No, no. It is fine. You are not obligated to help us in any way. It is fortunate that we landed with you rather than somebody who would do us harm or put us out. We are grateful for your hospitality beyond words, I promise. This is our problem, and we will figure it out."

And, once again, there was a great thump on the floor in the back hallway. _Oh, my lord._ Kili, who was the only one visible to that part of the house, looked back that way. His eyes grew wide as saucers. "Uncle!"

"All right, this is getting ridiculous." On my wits end at this point, I lunged past Fili to see whoever else had graced my home with their mysterious presence. "If a whole army of dwarves shows up at my house tonight, I'm sleeping at the barn." As I rounded the corner of the kitchen leading toward the spare bedroom, a dark-haired figure stumbled out of the hallway. I jumped back with a yelp just in time to avoid running into him before he collapsed onto the floor beside the couch with a dull thump. Fili and Kili stampeded toward him, falling onto their knees beside him. Together, they rolled him onto his back from where he landed on his shoulder and checked him over for injuries. He was definitely older than them, threads of silver mingling with his black hair, and even in unconsciousness, lines of exhaustion and stress creased his face. And quite a regal face it was.

"Uncle?" Fili grasped the new dwarf by the hand, holding it with both of his. Kili was gently patting his cheeks as Fili had done to him on the stairs. I braced, ready for the next bout of intense, dramatic reawakening. Except, this one was much calmer than the first two. His eyes slowly flickered open, lazily glancing between the two hovering over him. His astoundingly blue eyes zeroed in on Fili, and he sat up suddenly with a gasp, long hair falling down his back.

"Fili," his deep voice broke as he reached up to place his palm on the boy's cheek. Fili smiled, his features much stronger than when he had grabbed onto his brother for the first time. He wanted to break down again, the wisdom in his youthful eyes discerning once more what was actually happening, but there were no tears this time. He would not allow it. Then the older dwarf pulled him closely to his chest, gripping strongly with his arms around his back. Fili's face was partially hidden in the black mane, but what was visible finally scrunched with emotion and he held on tightly to this figure, his uncle. "Oh, Fili. I watched that scum put that blade through your back, and I thought my heart would never beat again. But you are here. Alive."

Fili pulled back, holding onto the older one's forearm. He smiled sadly, shaking his head. "No, Uncle. I'm not alive. I died. You must have as well."

"I...I did. Bilbo was there." Then his sights landed on the boy to his right, and now that I could see the profile of this magnificent man, I watched the strength, determination, and regality in it crumble before my very eyes. "Oh, no," he whispered, slipping a hand around the back of Kili's head and slowly pulling him down. "No. No, no, not you, too." He completely buried his face into Kili's matching hair, holding tightly with all the will of the strongest prayer. "I am so sorry, _irakdashat._ I failed you. Both of you. I should not have..."

"No, Uncle." Fili placed a hand on his shoulder. "We would do it again without hesitation. All of it. We have no regrets."

"That's right," Kili replied softly, patting the dwarf on the back. "It was the greatest honor we could ever have, and I wish you wouldn't try to take that away from us. We did it. We took back the mountain, and that means everything."

Taking in a shaky breath, he slid away, sitting still with a posture of defeat. He nodded. "I suppose. I avenged you. Azog is dead."

"Even better," Fili chuckled, rising to stand and holding out a hand. The new dwarf took it and Kili's, rising unsteadily onto his feet but having no trouble once he was upright. He placed a hand over his ribs, lip twitching just slightly. Fili frowned. "That where he got you?"

He nodded. "It is where I put Orcrist in him as well. I was pinned. It was the only way."

After several long minutes of watching from the background, I shuffled my feet around in hopes of no longer awkwardly standing in on what was such an emotional reunion. Fili took the hint, holding out a hand to me. "Thorin, this is Holly. She is the owner of the house we're standing in now and she has offered us a warm place to stay for the moment. Holly, this is our uncle, Thorin."

Piercing blue eyes settled on me easily, for we were both of the same height. They swept over me from head to toe, and I shivered at the intensity. Wow, this man had a presence. It was innately powerful. Finally, he returned to my face and bowed his head in a respectful manner. "Thank you, Miss Holly." He turned back to them, lifting a brow. "So this is not Mahal's house, is it?" he asked, inquiring more for clarification as to why this was not the place he had expected.

Fili shook his head. "Somehow, we have ended up in a completely different world. We don't know how, but no, it is certainly not Aule's halls."

Thorin nodded, briefly glancing around before focusing back on me. "We will not remain in your home any longer, Miss Holly. There are many answers we need that I'm sure you do not have. I apologize for the intrusion."

As he turned to head for the door, both boys watched him with fallen faces, looking to each other frantically. I decided to voice what they didn't want to. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Thorin stopped, back suddenly rigid, and I felt like I'd prodded a hornet's nest. He turned to glare at me around the dark curtain of his hair. "And why is that, woman?"

I ignored the suddenly hostile jab and tilted my chin up. "Well, for one, there's a blizzard outside right now. It's several degrees below freezing and you don't have much clothing to be going out in conditions like that. Secondly, where is it you plan on going? Because civilization doesn't start for another ten miles west, and I'm not sure I'd be hiking through a blizzard at night without knowing where I was going. As Fili said, you are more than welcome to spend the night here."

"Why?" he asked again, a little more pleasantly this time.

"Because I'm not a jerk who kicks those in need out of her house. You have nowhere else to go, and you'll freeze to death if it gets any colder tonight. But if you want to take those two out into the forest and slowly kill them, have at it."

He stared at the ground, fists clenched at his side. He was trying very hard to find a reason to refuse me, to walk out that door into the darkness. But he didn't. I had him, and he knew it. He sighed, turning back toward me. "Very well. We will stay the night. In the morning, we are gone."

I nodded, hoping he would come to his senses by then and realize that sunlight wouldn't really help his predicament all that much. He seemed like he wouldn't take any insistence from me well. "This might help." With the coffee now gone, I filled a glass of water from the sink instead and handed it to him, smiling at his nod of thanks. I turned back to the brothers, who were grinning at me as if I had just given them each an early Christmas present. "Could I interest anyone in a hot shower? Might help you get warmed up a bit."

I showed the boys how to work the faucet in the shower and was thoroughly surprised when they seemed to recognize the ingenuity of the mechanism. Fili's claim about their advancements seemed to go beyond what I had expected--a waterwheel in the Middle Ages--and I felt more confident that I could leave them to it than I could any of my own family. I warned them, however, that they would have to space their showers far apart as my water came from a well and heated extremely slowly after being used once. When I returned to the main room, Thorin was perusing through the decorations hanging on the wall in the living room. I sighed in relief when I noticed he had taken off his boots as well as his leather jacket. His earlier reluctance made it seem like he wouldn't be comfortable here. I dearly hoped he would be. "I don't have much to eat at the moment," I told him, tossing him the abandoned package of beef jerky. "This will have to do."

He grinned. "It is fine." He followed me into the kitchen, eyeing Houch as he walked by. The dog made no move to go after him as he usually did strangers. The stare must've been very effective. "I must thank you again for looking after my nephews. I hope they have not caused you too much trouble."

"I'm happy to help. It's not your fault you ended up here, and I don't see why you should be punished for it, especially since it sounds like you've already been to hell and back. Or, maybe not back."

He nodded grimly, and I scolded my big fat mouth for ever daring to squawk. "I am not where I'm supposed to be. I would call that a punishment itself." My gaping mouth must've alerted him to his words because he grinned. "However, I am not tortured by my current standings."

You don't want to be antagonizing your only hope of surviving in this world. I will fight anyone who takes a jab at my beautiful cabin. Okay, calm down now. Maybe that's why my presence would be considered a punishment. Better put on the hostess mask again. "Are you still in any pain?"

He shook his head. "It has faded. I will presume they told you of where we came from."

He was puffing up like a rooster. Something told me this guy was pretty conservative about whatever secrets dwarves hoarded along with their gold and jewels. If he found me unworthy of knowing certain things, I'm sure he could take me down in a flash, with or without a weapon. A dangerous fellow, this one. "Nothing much. Just the gist. Something 'bout a lonely mountain and the middle of Earth or whatever. Battle against orcs."

He nodded. His hackles were dropped for the moment, at least. "Yes, that is correct."

"Did you win?"

His pacing paused and he looked off to the side with a faraway glimmer in his eye. "Yes."

"Good. That's good." Judging by his expression, though, those in this battle hadn't escaped casualties. Wars rarely did. They may have beaten the enemy, but at what cost? A pricey one, it would seem. "You got your home back. That's definitely worth celebrating." But he's dead. What kind of a calloused response was that? Mm, I sure do love the taste of foot.

"It was not for me. It never was." He suddenly looked lonely standing in the middle of my kitchen, hands clasped behind his back, and face cast to the ground. The shadows under his eyes were deeper, and an invisible weight fell upon his shoulders. Or had it always been there, and I just now noticed it? A more burdened man I had never seen, saddling himself with the troubles of those he cared about. He was a leader, I could tell. One that died for his cause. That wasn't right. He should reap the benefits of his hard work, not be rewarded with a blade to the chest.

"We will figure out a way to make it for yourself," I blurted out before the faulty filter on my mouth could stop the words.

He looked up at me, eyes scrunched in confusion and hardened with skepticism. He waited for the punchline, no doubt. Joke's on him, there wasn't one. "Why?"

I shrugged. "Can't you just accept an offer of help when it's made?"

"And how do you intend on helping us when you are just as baffled by the situation as we are?" Now he was getting angry again. Default mode for this guy, apparently.

"To be honest, Thorin, I don't know. I'm still battling with the idea that you three could possibly be from anywhere but this world, but I'm not one to back down from a challenge when it's presented to me. If there is a way to get you home, I'm going to find it. Because I know what it's like to be in a place that doesn't feel like home."

He watched me emotionlessly, and I was about to prod him for any sign of life when I realized my rant had been witnessed by the other two who were standing at the corner of the hallway. Unlike their prickly relative, their eyes were bright with hope and excitement. If nothing else, knowing how much it meant to them would make all the effort worth it in the end. Those smiles were just too adorable to ignore. Fili's changed into a more serious expression of gratitude rather than boyish enthusiasm. "Thank you so much, Holly. Whether or not we get back to where we belong, we won't forget your willingness to help us."

Kili shook his head in agreement. "It'll be a debt we can never pay."

Finally, I looked back toward Thorin, who remained rooted to the spot like a great oak tree and stared at me. With a quick glance toward his nephews, he sighed and nodded. "Very well. I accept your offer."

What a benevolent idiot I can be sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I never intended to ever post this anywhere. But I got a hankering to continue it as some inspiration came to me, so I thought why not? I usually don't like stories that bring Middle-earth characters to our world became I'm like why bring them here when we can go to them instead, to a place that's soooo much better than here? But a specific idea came to me one night a couple weeks ago and I spent hours writing a whole story around that one thing. So, here it is. 
> 
> **Feedback is welcome in all forms. Questions, comments. Lay it on me. <3


	2. A Helping Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a list of the music I listened to while writing this, if anyone was wondering.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPUTddT8APc  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTW2MxfqVLI  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EBK1Y57QoQ  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrJTZZibdHk  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPvfhLDj0c8
> 
> Helps get in the wintry mood. And also LOTR. XD So, unlike Service of Hobbits, I'm writing this as I upload. Updates will not always be this quick, but I'm really getting into this story, so it won't be terribly long in between.  
> Enjoy! :)

I awoke around midnight to the unmistakable absence of the droning hum of the electricity, the silence deafening where my ears had grown accustomed to the noise. In fact, the whirring of the power shutting down was probably what drew me back to consciousness as the lingering smell of heat still drifted through the room from the vent pointed straight onto my bed. Tentatively, I slipped a hand out from under the covers, finding no shocking difference in temperature. It wouldn't last, though, as my log cabin did a poor job insulating when there was no source of heat. Groaning my grievances to any invisible ear within reach, I slipped out of my toasty cocoon of blankets, blindly reaching for the flannel housecoat that adorned the bedpost and my phone on the nightstand. Wrapped up with my mouth and nose buried, I made my way downstairs.

The house sat dark and quiet, the usual presence of the streetlight just outside gone, bathing everything in the blackness typical for the side of a mountain. Everything was caught in the middle of the winter wonderland forming outside. I peeked out the window in the front door, but I couldn't see past the steps. Snow always brought an inherent peace to our cozy little ridge here, uttering nothing above a whisper no matter how intense the storm. Still, as it continued to pile up in the yard and in the tree branches, it always threatened to take out the power. The temperature had reached the single digits by the time I laid down to sleep, and the beautiful snow would turn deadly as it froze. I had woken up often enough in the same way I did tonight--to a cold, deathly silent house--to know how devastating this beauty could become. Usually, I would throw an extra blanket over the bed and hide away for most of the day. Now, however, I had more than just myself to think about.

Fili and Kili were sound asleep in the living room, the blond on the leather sofa and the brunette on the vinyl couch. I had pulled out my extra quilts and blankets from the linen closet under the stairs, giving the pair of them two each. They declined my guest room after I offered it, saying they were perfectly fine watching the front and side door for intrusions--their version of paying me back when they had nothing else to offer. While burglars were pretty much nonexistent up here, especially when there was half a foot of snow on the ground, their gesture was sweet and I didn't have the heart to tell them no. Beneath their playful intrigue, that haunted glimmer remained in their eyes. Whatever horrors they just came from, they desperately needed some kind of relief from it, even if I didn't quite understand their methods. Thorin took up the recliner, content with being near his nephews. He sat upright with his arms crossed, head resting back on the top of the chair. Unlike the younger ones who were snoring like they wanted to advertise to the world how not dead they really were, he didn't make a sound. His breath came light and shallow, and his expression was certainly not that of a well-resting person. He was still wary about being here, about me, as much as I tried all I could to ease his mind. He spent the rest of the evening glaring at everything unfamiliar, until I was sure all my electronics would short from the intensity of his gaze. It was only his own exhaustion that made him ask permission to rest in the chair. It still didn't seem enough to draw him into a deep sleep. If he wanted to continuously jump at shadows for the remainder of the time he was here, I wouldn't stop him. At some point, it was no longer my problem, but his. Still, deep down, I hoped he would settle down in time.

Tip-toeing as softly as I could in my fuzzy socks, I slunk past them all to the hearth. One annoyance my relatives left me with was a log fireplace. Irritating having to chop my own wood when I wanted to use it, until it became the only source of warmth I had. Slipping a few logs into the pit, I dug out the matches from the cubby beside it and struck a decent flame into the kindling. Before long, I had a lovely fire blazing, the flickering glow cast across the room and a few puffs of smoke disappearing up into the chimney. I stuck my hands out to ward off the impending cold creeping into the house. It was hard work keeping up with a fire, but it sure paid off in the end.

A sudden shuffling behind me drew my attention from the mesmerizing flames. Thorin was mid-yawn when I turned around, eyes regarding me with slight chagrin. "You have lighter feet than the hobbit," he whispered, sparing a milder glance toward the boys as he checked their well-being.

I just blinked, brow scrunched. "A what?"

He shook his head. "Nevermind." He sat up a little straighter and stretched. He faltered slightly, as if remembering something, then proceeded with more caution. I studied his profile as he looked around the room. His jaw was covered in a thick, full beard that was much better kept than anything I'd ever seen on any of the men in my life. Just like in his hair, a few sprigs of silver dotted here and there throughout it, giving him an attractive maturity. His hair, a little disheveled from a fitful sleep, hung around his shoulders in thick waves. His nose was strikingly straight; I never thought I would use the word noble to describe a nose, but there it was. And there were his eyes. Captivating blue framed by dark lashes, with little crow's feet in the corner. They were sharp and alert despite having just awoken, taking in his surroundings in a practiced routine. Then they settled on me, and suddenly the heat I sat next to was a little too stifling. I'm sure I blushed when I realized he was studying me as well, aware that my French braid was probably messed up and my eyes were red from sleep. Finally, he broke the silence. "Just now lighting a fire?"

"Didn't need it before."

"I will guess your furnace went out."

That caught me off guard. They have central heating where he came from? "Something like that."

He nodded, lithely slipping out of the chair. "You will need more wood soon."

"I have a pile under the porch around back. I've been putting off bringing it in."

"I will fetch some for you." Before I could protest, he crossed the room in long, powerful strides for his stature, took his boots in his hand, and made a bee line for the side door. Okay, then. If he wanted to be the one to get cold, I'd gladly pass on the opportunity. While he was out, I grabbed a spare blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders. I contemplated grabbing a few more for the other two, but they were insistent that two was just fine. Apparently dwarves are a little sturdier than humans. The air surrounding their bodies certainly seemed a couple degrees warmer. It was tempting to ask for a snuggle, and not just because it would fight off the chills. Dwarves or not, this family had good genes. They were aware of it, too.

Even when the side door squeaked and rattled as Thorin slipped back inside before the bitter draft took over the room, neither sleeping dwarf stirred. The effects of the battle they claimed to have fought in seemed to carry over into this world, pinning them in a deep slumber. I could only speculate, but I would guess they were no older than twenty. Just a few years younger than me. So young to have seen death and violence. So young to have met their own deaths as well. It suddenly made me sad. Thorin noticed my inspection of them as he set the wood down with the rest on the rack beside the hearth. "They may sleep well into the morning."

"They look like they need it." I watched as Fili barely shuffled around, burying his face deeper into the cushion.

Thorin kneeled in front of the fire after removing his boots, rubbing his large hands together. Snowflakes lingered in his dark hair. "I will try to rouse them at dawn."

"Thorin, please, you don't have to do that. I insist that you stay as long as you need. In fact, I highly recommend it. Folk 'round here are a bit suspicious of strangers. Annoying tourists will do that."

"You did not voluntarily welcome us into your home. We will not take advantage."

"Well, I'm welcoming you now." I balked, remembering to keep my voice low. In my defense, his apparent deafness was trying my patience. I met his obstinate glare. Two can play at that game, punk. "There is nothing to intrude on," I finally admitted. "I will be here for days, alone, while this storm piles up at my door. The company would be much appreciated."

His lips curled in amusement, and probably pity, and he shook his head. "You are persuasive. We will see what dawn brings."

Nothing, I promise. But I let him think he had the final say because obviously he needed the ego boost. Leader down to the bone. "I'll make sure the fire doesn't die. You should get some sleep, too."

"I will be fine."

I don't care how hardy you are by nature. Everyone needed more than a couple hours of light sleep. I'd seen it before. You spend too much time putting your body's needs last that you eventually just ignore all the warnings and press on anyway. But your body is not always a slave to your mind, and it will rebel. A sign of selflessness in most cases, as it's others that are in your thoughts instead. My father was a police officer who had a nasty habit of taking overtime when the station was short-staffed. Mom got tired of it real quick. I'm stuck between admiring his conviction to help people and despising him for tearing our family apart.

Something nudged my arm and I turned to find soft amber eyes sparkling up at me. A wide grin split my face. "Hi, Houch." When I crossed my legs, the brown lug clambered halfway onto my lap, snuggling further into my side when I laid part of the blanket on him. "You should be in bed, too. Too many strangers to sleep around, huh?" After enjoying my petting his head for a moment, he looked up toward Thorin. The dwarf had sat down as well and he stared back.

"I've never seen a dog like that. Interesting ears."

"He was used for fighting," I explained quickly, remembering he may not know what that meant. I pointed at some of the scars on his back. "It's an illegal sport to put two dogs in a pit and make them fight, but people still do it. Gamblers making money off the suffering of innocent animals. Pit bulls are the most commonly-used breed, and that gives them a reputation of being aggressive. You can identify a fighting dog by cropped ears; they're naturally floppy. The people who rescued him were going to kill him because he was deemed too dangerous to be a pet, but an old friend of mine got a hold of him and retrained him, then offered him to me as a joke. Didn't think I'd actually say yes. He's gentler than a lamb now."

"A noble deed. You have a kind heart."

I shrugged. "He didn't deserve to die for the choices someone else made."

A pang struck my chest when his gaze briefly flickered over to Fili and Kili. The sadness in that one look completely sucked the breath from my lungs, and I hugged my dog closer. I'm sure, as their uncle, he was going through a million scenarios in his head about how he could've prevented their deaths. What he shouldn't have done, what he could've done differently. While I didn't know the situation, judging by their reaction to his awakening when he first stumbled and collapsed on my kitchen floor, none of what he came up with could have changed a thing. They didn't blame him, so I'm sure he couldn't justify blaming himself. I wanted to ask about this battle and their home, but he seemed like the type to keep his cards close to the chest, so I'm certain I would only get ire if I pressed. Was it any of my business anyway? I didn't need to know their life story to get them back to their world. I sure would like to know who I've invited into my house, though. Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he took in a short, sharp breath and looked into the fire. The orange glow highlighted the pink scar running from the right side of his forehead all the way into the inner corner of his eye, as well as the many other little cuts littering his face. "So you truly live alone here?"

I nodded. "Besides Houch, yeah. My family's scattered all over North Carolina. The only ones I keep in touch with are my aunt and uncle, and that's 'cause they're my landlords." While I had no desire to keep secrets like he did, my past was hardly pleasant to dwell on. A real sob story, if I ever heard one, and I had to live it. 

"If we are in as remote an area as you claim, I'd say that is unwise. You seem to have been lucky so far to have no one bother you, but luck always runs out eventually. I'm starting to consider remaining here for your sake."

I rolled my eyes, my irritation fading at his smirk. "Please. I have bears run through my backyard at least half a dozen times a year. There's two shotguns sitting in my kitchen, always loaded and ready to go, and I know how to use them. I dare anybody to run through that door and come at me."

"From my experience, you'd give them salted meat and a blanket instead."

"Okay, real hilarious, buddy. My side's splitting."

He had a really nice smile. Not a full one by any means, but I'm sure dying put a damper on his mood. Still, the small, silent chuckle he gave was promising. Then the stoic drill sergeant returned, and he paused to stare at the ground for a moment. Before my eyes, I saw several emotions flash across his face, one after another. Sadness, anger, acceptance. That last one took me by surprise, especially since that was what greeted me when I found his eyes again. "I am not naïve, Holly. I know there is little chance we will find a way back to Middle-earth from here. We were brought here for a reason, and if we must stay in this world to discover what it is we must learn, that is our fate. No matter how persistent you are, you cannot reverse something like this on your own. Neither can we. I will not hold it against you if you let us leave tomorrow to find our own way. I understand that there is nothing you can do for us except offer food and a place to lay our heads for the time."

I gritted my teeth, wondering what could bring such a naturally strong, bull-headed person to hardly even attempt to fight his circumstances. It wasn't something I was comfortable witnessing. "No, Thorin. We will find a way back home for you."

"We died, Holly!" he hissed quietly, the soft eyes from earlier now solidified into ice. "There is nothing for us to return to but our broken bodies and a tomb."

"Then I will help you pass on to Aule's Halls or wherever it is you were supposed to go when you died. The main thing here is that you don't belong in  _this_ world, and that has to change. There has got to be a way, Thorin, and we will find it."

He shook his head slowly. "You do not know a thing about what you're dabbling in. If there is no magic in this place, you cannot undo what magic has wrought."

"This kind of magic hasn't been discovered. That's not saying it doesn't exist."

"And you think  _you_ will discover what the entire world has not?"

"Someone has to eventually. And I'm guessing I'm on the right track since you guys literally fell into my house from the air. Give me some credit here. I'm going to turn myself into a mental hospital if I don't find an explanation for this."

He was about to come back at me again. His posture was getting straighter and straighter by the second, and he leaned ever closer to me with each rebuttal he spit back. Houch and I both were convinced he was about to spring up and get in my face. Then a whimper broke through the tension in the air like a bullet. The fight immediately fell from Thorin's face, and he turned to look at the couch in calm alarm. For a moment, only the sound of the crackling fire filled the room as we stared, holding our breaths as we waited. I was about to turn back to the cantankerous dwarf in front of me to lay into him with another inspirational speech I pulled from my sleeves and had zero confidence in. But Kili stirred. First, his fists clenched around the blanket covering him, an incoherent murmur falling from barely-parted lips. Then his mouth curled down, brow furrowing in an astonishingly identical impersonation of what I had just seen a few seconds ago. A weak growl left his mouth. Then, in a flash, it turned to fear unlike anything I'd ever seen before, and a loud, panicked shout echoed off the high ceiling. Thorin was up off the ground before I could process what was going on, reaching the couch in barely two strides. He bent down and placed both hands on either side of Kili's face scrunched in terror. He uttered a soothing collection of words I had no hope of understanding, all the while stroking the boy's cheek and brushing away his wild hair. Kili opened unseeing eyes, grasping blindly at Thorin's arms. Thorin moved closer until their noses almost touched. "Kili,  _gimlelul_ , you are safe. Listen to me,  _inudoy._ You are safe. What you see is no longer real."

Though his chest rose and fell in harsh, quick breaths, the panic slowly melted off his face. His eyes blinked rapidly until he looked directly up at Thorin in dazed focus. " _Irak'adad._ "

Thorin's thumb swiftly brushed away a tear that had dripped from the corner of Kili's eye, almost too quick for me to notice. "Go back to sleep, Kili. They do not exist anymore. They cannot hurt you."

The younger dwarf wanted to protest, anxiety rising high, but he must've seen something in the composed expression leaning over him. With a comforting hand threading through his bangs, he closed his eyes and drifted into a silent slumber. Thorin stayed next to him until he was certain the boy would not wake again, a deep breath leaving his nose. After staring for a time, he finally looked up at me in placid regard. "Thank you, Holly. For your generosity and your willingness to help us. Fili was right. Dwarves do not forget when we have been dealt a great kindness, and no matter what happens, we will not forget what you have done for us."

His sudden mood change gave me severe whiplash, but I couldn't deny the sincerity in his tired gaze. I nodded, not knowing how else to respond. After realizing I had also lost the will to continue the aimless argument we just exchanged, he left the couch to head back to the recliner. On his way, he paused to lay a palm over the golden head poking out from beneath the blankets on the sofa, a preventative measure that he probably assumed would not work but felt the need to try anyway. "Would you like the chair, Miss Hostess?"

I wasn't expecting the question, so I stumbled a bit over my tongue.

He rolled his eyes, not an unkind gesture. "I'm assuming you won't be returning to your bed since the fire is here. It would be very insensible of me to push you to the floor in your own home."

When I finally recovered from my momentary stupor, egged on by his choice of wording which sent my overactive mind straight to the gutter, I shook my head. "And what kind of a hostess would I be if I made my guests lay on the floor? No, I want to be next to the fire. Like I said, I'll keep an eye on it."

He nodded. "As you wish." With quilt in hand, he slid back into the recliner. He made it seem majestic and effortless despite how his feet dangled off the edge. "Good night, Miss Holly."

"Good night, Thorin." With Houch now asleep on my leg, I decided to wait to go grab the comforter and a pillow from my bed. I glanced back toward the fire, wondering what it was that made him seem so mesmerized yet wary when staring into it not long ago.

I could have sworn only a few moments passed from when Thorin first settled back into his chair. I shut my eyes a bit, lulled by the heat of the flames, but it was only for a little quick indulgence because leaving that little bubble of warmth and home on that rug seemed so much less appealing. But conscious voices pulled me from my doze. "That doesn't look comfortable."

"Obviously it was since she managed to sleep for hours that way. How much do you want to bet she knows how to sleep on horseback?"

"I say we crush a snowball to her head for making us wake up in the cold."

"Neither of you will do anything." The strong voice nearly made me jump out of my skin.

"Shouldn't we rescue Houch, though? She is laying right on top of him."

"He doesn't seem to be complaining. Honestly, neither would I."

"I can hear you," I growled through a gravelly voice laden with sleep and fueled by the crick in my neck and my wrist where my head had been cushioned in it. "And if either of you touch me, you'll be without your precious family jewels before you can say 'dwarf stew.'" If it wasn't blatantly obvious, mornings do not agree with me and I don't agree with them. Complicated relationship we have, since I usually have to get up before dawn to make it to the barn to feed the horses. When I finally lifted my head, night and day were staring at me from the sofa as if I just flashed them. I tend to sleep naked when it's not below freezing outside, being the only occupant of the house most of the time, so hopefully my subconscious had not thought to return to its routine. 

Kili not-so-subtly adjusted himself. "You would disgrace the line of Durin in such a manner? How could you even think to perform such a heinous crime?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I mumbled, laying down on the rug. Houch scrambled out of my grasp and trotted toward the side door, looking up at the handle expectantly. "Can someone please let him out?"

Before either of the boys could react, Thorin appeared out of nowhere and sent the pooch on his way with a small scratch behind the ears. It made me smile. "Sorry I let the fire die."

He shook his head. "I fell asleep as well."

Stretching my neck, I wrapped myself tighter in the blanket and stood. My phone slipped from my sweatpants pocket and thumped on the floor, and I checked the time. "Crap! I'm late!" Before waiting for the feeling to return to my legs, I danced around the dwarves and took off for the staircase, my blanket billowing behind me like a cape.

"For what?" Fili called after me.

"Work!" Mr. Harper was a very understanding man. He was more of a friend than an employer, in a way. Hopefully, today, that lovely side of him wouldn't remain dormant in lieu of the snow spilling all over everything outside. I'm never late, so maybe my impeccable performance so far would grant me mercy. I wonder if I could even get my truck out of the driveway. I might have to walk. Did I remember to put in stronger coolant this year? Darn it, my engine's probably a block of ice.

Then I stopped, one hand on the banister and a foot propped up on the first step. All three dwarves watched me curiously from their original spots around the living room. Each expression was smooth, but beneath it, I could tell they were all in a deep state of confusion. I wasn't any different. What do I do? I have to leave them here all morning, and they would be all alone. I could return for lunch, something I rarely did as I usually spent my off time from doing chores exercising the twenty-something horses on the farm. I couldn't take them with me. How do I explain them to Mr. Harper and the other hands? Oh, they're probably hungry. I didn't exactly give them an actual meal the night before. "I could scrounge up something for breakfast before I go, if you want."

"We won't keep you," Thorin insisted. "We would have no trouble gathering something for ourselves." The boys nodded their agreement beside him, and I took a light breath of air. Hearty, they claimed to be. It shouldn't come as a surprise that they would be experts at survival, even in unfamiliar territory.

"I won't be long, I promise. The snow should postpone anything besides regular chores. I'll pick up something real to eat on my way back, and we can brainstorm about how to get you guys home." With a bob of the head from each of them, I pushed aside the guilt of taking off on them and rushed upstairs to throw on some long-johns and a couple shirts. This was going to be a long day, I could tell.

        ********************************************************************

"Holly, honey, you okay?"

I trudged back into the toasty warm barn, pushing my now-empty wheelbarrow in front of me. The snow had stopped falling before I woke up, and it had held off for the time being, but the weather station crackling through the speakers of the battery-powered radio sitting on a double stack of hay bales threatened another several inches would be dropped starting this evening after dark. As clouds still hung low, obscuring any views of the mountains surrounding us, the temperature remained relatively the same. I put all my weight into shutting the large barn door, desperate to keep the cold wind out. When I stopped to rest from my long haul through the calf-deep snow, I locked eyes with Mrs. Harper. She had been raking the barn aisle as I mucked out stalls, and we had fallen into idle chit-chat, mostly revolving around her son and his growing family. The greying woman was just as sweet as her husband, and always a delight to talk with. She stopped, leaning on the handle of the rake as she stared at me. "Sorry, did you say something?"

She pursed her lips. "You seem very distracted today, dear. Stressed. Is something wrong?"

I had already told her the power was out, brushing it off as a mild inconvenience as we shared a laugh over my despair of chopping wood with frozen fingers. I couldn't use that as an excuse. I could make up some family thing, but she also knew my neutral opinion about the lack of communication. The truth, I couldn't tell her. I couldn't say how I was almost pulling my hair out over the fact that three people who were supposed to be mythical creatures from some ancient lore had dropped into my home last night. I was stumped over how I was going to help them return to where they belonged while simultaneously keeping them and myself alive in this blizzard. I wanted to scream about how, the whole time I shoveled manure and mixed buckets of grain, I couldn't come up with a single idea as to how I was going to fulfill my promise to them. Thorin was right. Whatever magic had caused them to transcend dimensions of all things didn't exist here, and I had no idea where to begin in finding any information pertaining to what world they came from let alone getting them back to it. I had signed myself up for the impossible, but I refused to toss them out into the cold when they were lost and homeless. I did not want to give up on them, but I was at the end of my rope. Confiding in somebody sounded nice, but there was no way that was possible.

Apparently, I took too long to answer, as Mrs. Harper stepped toward me with a knowing smirk, nodding. "Boy troubles?"

 _You have no idea, Mrs. H._ "I guess I just didn't sleep well last night. You know, trying to preserve all my perishables and warding off icicles trying to form on my loft railing. It got pretty cold."

"It did. We aren't exactly in any better shape, but we have a generator and a little more than a tiny fireplace. You're welcome to stay with us until the power's come back on. It'll be easier for you to get to the barn."

A tempting offer, obviously. And I would've taken it, under normal circumstances. But I couldn't abandon the dwarves, even if it was with a roof over their heads. "That's all right. I've made it on my own in conditions like this before. You learn something from the hard times, don't you? Makes you prepared for the next time."

She smiled solemnly at me. "I suppose you do. But something that I learned through the many hard times I've endure is that, that lesson you're talking about, it's usually on how to seek help when you need it rather than take on the responsibility of dealing with your situation on your own. You need to be able to stand on your own two feet, but it's okay to ask for a hand when you're really struggling. We're here for you, honey. We don't want you suffering in that house all by yourself."

I remember Mr. Harper saying something similar in passing one day as we were working on patching up one of the horses that got hurt a couple years back. A true couple, these two were. "Thanks, but I've got things under control. Now, one of the fences was down on the other side of the south pasture when I went out there. Tell Mr. Harper I'll be on that as soon as stalls are done."

She grabbed my shoulders, shaking her head. "It can wait. We don't need to put any horses out there. I'll finish the stalls and feed tonight. It's almost two. You should head home before that second wave comes through and buries you in our driveway. We have some leftover ham from Thanksgiving. Why don't you take that and a loaf of sourdough bread we got a few days ago so you won't starve?" Before I could protest, she had set her rake aside and started toward the house with determination for her new mission in her step. I giggled. Ever since this lady had come into my life, I realized what it was like to have grandparents, something I'd missed out on since both pairs of my own had died before I could grow old enough to get to know them. I quite liked the idea.

With a new stock for my pantry, including a bag of apples and some chips and salsa (why this standard southern couple known around the neighborhood for their traditional cooking would have chips and salsa was beyond me, but I couldn't wait to introduce this magical food to the dwarves), I crunched and spun my way up the side of the mountain back to my cabin. A few times, I had to stop to calm my racing heart after almost failing to catch myself when the truck started a slow slide back down the way I'd come. Dad always liked driving up grades like this, especially in snow. It was thrilling for him. I had a mini heart attack each time my wheels spun. Finally, just as snowflakes began to drift down once more, I pulled into my driveway, squealing when the truck only decided to stop after pulling a foot or two into the yard. The only thing I would sled down my slope of a backyard in was a plastic sled, not a fifteen-thousand dollar one. I jumped out, not trusting my parking brake in the slightest. I rubbed my arms furiously against the frigid wind picking up. The perilous walk to my front door left me stiffer than a pole, and I longed for my cozy little abode. Then I remember the heat was out, and I groaned. I was seriously considering petitioning the dwarves for a cuddle. The brothers might be into it. Thorin was bigger, though, and probably warmer. I shook my head from my thoughts and pushed the door open. "I'm back, gents," I called as I bent down to pull off my boots and my sodden socks with them. "I brought back a peace offering from letting you freeze this morning. Boy, are you going to like this."

I paused, because I realized just how quiet it was. Maybe it was how sensitive I was to the absence of the electricity, but I couldn't help noticing how empty the place felt. "Guys, you here?" Nothing, just the snowflakes tapping on windows as the wind drove it hard. For the briefest moment--and I have no idea why my brain would turn in this direction--I wondered if they had all left. If they truly wanted to head out on their own, there really wasn't much I could do to stop them. I couldn't very well keep them caged up in the house, could I? Keep an eye out for the news, I suppose, in case they got into trouble. But something struck me in the chest when I thought about them leaving. I didn't want them to. I blame it on Mrs. Harper for reminding me that, without them, I am actually alone here on this mountainside. Nothing like a good addition to this storm than a cold blast of truth, and now it was staring me in the face. Their presence here had been soothing to the ache I didn't know I had. Then another thought hit me. Maybe they had been recalled back to wherever they had come from just as quickly as they'd appeared. Wouldn't that be awesome? They could have whatever peace they desired after death, and I would have the satisfaction of knowing they had finally been granted it. But I realized in that moment how selfish I truly was: even if they had the chance to return, I didn't want them to. Oh, I'm truly a mess. Mostly because I hadn't taken the time to look around the room, and that would've put away all the fears that rose up in me.

The place was immaculate. When I dashed out the door that morning, I had left the dwarves in a living room cluttered with coffee mugs and blankets strewn all over the place. To be honest, it looked like a middle school slumber party. I dreaded having to come back and tidy up, and I tried to think up a million excuses as to why I shouldn't do it. But that wasn't a problem anymore. The blankets had been folded neatly (neater than I could ever accomplish) and stacked on the couch next to the pillows. The furniture was straight again, as was the rug on the floor, and a picturesque fire crackled in the hearth. It truly did look like someone had cleaned up and taken off, but then I noticed the candles. There were several of them, lit all over the house, giving it a warm glow all throughout. It was...surprisingly romantic. And I knew they had not taken off, leaving a bunch of candles burning in a log house. 

"Holly." Two heads poked out from the other side of the couch, and I let out a breath of relief. Stupid tiny dwarves, unwittingly hiding and giving me a conniption. Fili and Kili jumped up when they saw how laden my arms were, great big smiles running from ear to ear that made it impossible to keep my agitation. "Where did you get all this?" Fili asked.

"A friend." When they gave me a look, I shook my head. "She absolutely thinks I'm alone, so no, she doesn't know about you." I handed the bags over to them when they offered, and they carried them to the kitchen as I removed my coat and shook the snowflake from my hair. "There should be plenty in there to keep us for a few days, if we don't have a feast."

Kili's pout was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. "But that's what dwarves do best."

I feared for what was left of my pantry. "Where's the old one? He finally collapse in a bed after getting no sleep last night? Serves him right." Although, I was the one that woke him up. But he chose to stay awake, so no, I'm not taking the blame on this one.

The rustling of plastic bags stopped abruptly, and I looked up to see if they had actually disappeared on me. They stared at each other, as if having a silent conversation, then looked back to me with guilty expressions. My already frigid blood cooled over.  _He didn't._ "Guys?"

Fili fidgeted with a mustache braid, lips moving with no word. Finally, he sighed and replied, "He left."

I blinked. "Um, what?"

The pair of them looked as if they were standing in the middle of the principal's office at school. Kili was the one to answer this time. "He was agitated all morning after you left, snapping more than usual. Then, after lunch, he came out of your guest room with a thick coat on and said he was going to look for answers. We tried to stop him, we really did. He insisted we stay here and that he would be back for us when he found something."

Oh, looks like dwarf stew would be back on the menu. Hope these guys were okay with cannibalism. "Which way did he go?"

"Down the road," Fili answered. "He took some food and a bottle of water with him."

I sighed, slumping against the couch. I probably rolled over his tracks with my truck. And if I didn't, the snow would cover them soon enough. "There's another half-foot of snow coming down tonight. What was he thinking?" I held up a hand when they opened their mouths. "You know what? Don't answer that. I don't care what he's thinking. He's an absolute lunatic."  _Stubborn, irritating, dead dwarf._  

"This wouldn't be the first time he's walked through a blizzard," Fili assured me, coming up to pat the hand that rested on the top of the sofa. "He can find his way back if things become too rough. We're hardy. We know how to survive."

Well, he's not surviving a bullet from an angry farmer that doesn't like short, brutish men walking through his fields. "If he's not back by morning, we're going out to look for him. He doesn't know what he's getting himself into. This world is a lot different from what you're used to, if you haven't figure that out yet. Trust me, it's a whole lot bigger than this tiny cabin."

He nodded. "Yes, we will go look for him then." After gaining my permission to raid the bags, they set about fixing themselves some sandwiches. I could tell by the set of their shoulders and the frowns threatening to overtake their enjoyment of good food that they were worried. I wanted to put their minds at ease and head out right then to track down Thorin, but the snow was growing thicker. It would be dark in a couple hours, and I was  _not_ going down that mountain road on a fresh layer of snow with zero visibility. 

As we ate, the boys worked to keep my head clear, but I couldn't help my eyes drifting toward the doors every now and then, wishing a long-haired figure would march right through it and give my frantic heart a rest.  _Please be okay._


	3. Wild Dwarf Chase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music for this chapter:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEj3yIfvEFA  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyoCzqpluDk
> 
> Merry Christmas, everyone! I said I would get this out before Christmas Day, and where I am, I have an hour and a half to spare. XD I've been busy this weekend, as you might imagine. But I definitely wouldn't miss out on giving you guys your present (well, one of them). Hope you all have a wonderful holiday season! <3

"Kee, you're all right. Look at me."

Fili's insistent shushing hadn't been the only thing to pull me out of sleep, while he'd been taking great care to make sure his voice was low. It was the familiar whimpering, that sniffling caught in a fortified grip of terror, that jerked me away from that snowy meadow I was pushing through, following after the dark figure in the distance. I didn't know who it was, but I had a guess, and it gave me a bad feeling. But that was something I'd have to dwell on later. I uncurled myself from my position cradled within the arms of the leather recliner, poking my head out from beneath the three layers of quilts I burrowed beneath the night before. Not as if it was relevant, but the bottommost layer smelled surprisingly and pleasantly woodsy, and a strange jolt lurched in my stomach when I remembered who had used it the night before. The room was dark, save for the smoldering embers in the fireplace and a candle I left burning on the kitchen counter. The snow had stopped, giving me momentary relief before I recalled what had woken me up in the first place. I looked toward the couch where a certain chipper young boy had settled down for sleep with a quick joke about how much I failed at my job as a hostess for not keeping them warm. Now, he was clawing at the air with trembling fingers and tears trailing from his soft brown eyes. Above him, his golden brother tried desperately to pin those flailing hands to his chest and pull him from the horrors he was witnessing. It was almost too much to watch. I thought back to what Thorin had done to calm him down, and Fili was doing nothing different yet his efforts were in vain. He must've heard me shift in my seat because he looked back at me with a face overflowing with pain. "A bad one," he whispered, trying to wrap an arm around Kili's shoulders. "It takes a bit to pull him out when it's this bad." 

I tossed off my blankets, letting the rush of cold air chase away the drowsiness clinging to me. I stood, but had no idea what to do with myself. How do you comfort somebody having a nightmare like this? I've met a few sleepwalkers, but they were never in this much distress. Fili seemed to know what he was doing: I suppose making sure they didn't hurt themselves was all you really could do. I just stood frozen in my spot, watching as Kili subconsciously fought against his restraints and the demons behind his eyes. He cried out again, jerking his head to the side so a few strands of dark hair stuck to his sweat-soaked face. Fili was quick to move them out of the way, putting more weight against the thrashing body beneath him. His eyes closed tightly, face set in a grim line. He was fighting off tears, just as I was. While this seemed to be a regular occurrence, I'm sure it would become no easier to handle seeing someone you love so much being tortured in such a way. He must've known the things Kili was seeing right now, things I could only imagine. Orcs were always grotesque beasts in whatever entertainment medium they showed up: big, gargoyle-like, and meaty with a ravenous taste for flesh. These dwarves were not skinny, helpless cowards by any means. For these little powerhouses to have been killed in a battle against these beasts...a shiver trickled down my spine at what kind of damage orcs could do to an unsuspecting person with no skills with a weapon whatsoever. 

" _Nadad_!" Kili called out, nearly weeping into the back of the couch.

"I'm here, Kee." Fili's voice wavered just a little bit. "I'm all right. Whatever you saw didn't happen."

"It did," the younger brother mumbled, then he turned his bright, focused eyes shining with moisture toward Fili. With a swift push off the couch, he threw his arms around Fili's neck and squeezed until the sides of their heads were pressed together almost painfully. Fili didn't mind, holding tight as if this were his only lifeline. "It did happen, Fee. Your body fell from that ledge and hit the ground so hard. _He_ threw you down. _He_ stabbed you. And I...I wasn't there. And you told me to, to go away. I shouldn't have listened. I should've stayed with you."

"No, no, no." Fili pulled the brunette head to his chest, slipping up onto the couch and rocking him back and forth. "You did everything right. You would've died the same way had you come with me."

"I died anyway! What does it matter now if I just postponed it?"

"I gave you the chance to get away. To get back to Thorin and continue fighting that scum, for me. You weren't supposed to go and get yourself killed, you reckless fool."

Kili sniffled and sobbed into his brother's clothes for a few moments, clinging with all his might. The absolute devastation breaking these two down right before my eyes shrunk them to half the presence they usually exuded. They were so small, so _human._ Just little specks in the world they knew. Just like me. What did it matter that they were dwarves? They felt, and they hurt, and they had passion beyond anything I'd seen in most people. Whatever I was witnessing now was real, and it was more pain I could comprehend. If I had not already made up my mind about their story, accepted where they came from and how they got here, standing over those boys as they held onto the last and most valuable pieces of the life they had made me realize that this was truly happening. They were here, but not from here, and they needed to get back to where they belonged as fast as possible. 

I stoked the waning fire into a brilliant blaze again and set a pot of water of it. Silence had now filled the room, but they did not move. I wouldn't dare intrude on this moment they so desperately needed. Whatever had just exploded now had been clawing to the surface for a long time. I'm sure there was much they needed to address about what happened before they died. So I waited, sifting through my collection of teas and deciding which one would be best for the occasion. A calming, soothing mix would do the trick. By the time the water had begun to boil softly and I poured out a few cups, they untangled themselves from the other and sat back to stare. Maybe they could actually read each other's minds, some kind of sibling bond between dwarves. After a moment, they smiled at one another and clasped hands. The sadness lifted and dissipated in a matter of seconds, the peace we'd had just after laying down to sleep settling back in its place. When they turned back to me, their eyes were red, puffy, and glimmering with tears, but content. "Are you willing to share some of that?" Kili asked in a scratchy voice. Fili watched me expectantly.

I waved my hand toward them. "Get over here." I giggled as they scrambled off the couch and sat cross-legged on the rug, taking a cup of tea and gingerly sipping it. They were very close to me, but I didn't mind the invasion of space. It was intimate, comfortable. They seemed just as at ease, and if it weren't for the tea we were drinking, I would've let myself indulge in the familiarity between us. But then they surprised me, as they continued to do.

"You have questions," Fili stated, and most certainly didn't inquire. I was a piece of paper with a laminated covering that was absolutely not opaque, even though I thought it was. It didn't surprise me he could tell I was restraining myself.

"I won't pry."

"You've a right to," Kili replied, his throat a tad less hoarse now. "And we won't hold back."

I suppose there was no need to act a stranger anymore, and they didn't seem inclined to push me away either. That may change if I opened my big mouth, though. I wanted to ask about it all: who they were in their old lives, what their relatives were like. "What about your dwarvish pact?"

"Hang it." Fili winked, the braids on his upper lip twitching as he grinned. "Thorin's not here to snarl. Ask away."

The grumpy geezer wouldn't have deterred me anyway, if these two were willing to let me in. I'd like to see him go up against my finger in his face if he so dared to accept my help without offering something in return (which I definitely didn't expect anything but the gesture would've been kind). I sipped my tea and tried to think about what it was I wanted to know the most; I couldn't dig too deep, so I had to choose my first prompts wisely. "Tell me about the Lonely Mountain."

Their eyes lit up like Christmas lights, and I could hardly contain my laughter. Looks like I'd gotten the right answer. "Magnificent," Kili replied first, taking a swift slurp of his drink before setting the cup down to settle in. "It's a singular peak sticking up from otherwise level ground, set apart from any other mountains. The halls are endless, winding all throughout it like a labyrinth. There are statues of our ancestors and past kings, and hidden passages where no sunlight ever hits. The mines run so deep, and they're rich with gold and ore the like you could never dream of. Wealth will be flowing from the city for centuries to come."

"Don't forget the treasure."

Kili sent his brother a flat look. "I would actually like to."

The glimmer dimmed somewhat in Fili's gaze. "Right."

"What treasure?"

Fili took over. "The last King Under the Mountain, Thror, collected the wealth mined from beneath Erebor, but he never spent it. The hoard itself is essentially its own mountain. Hundreds of thousands of gold coins and trinkets, rubies and diamonds. The city would want for nothing for a millennium just from what was gathered there. It was absolutely stunning."

"Then why would you want to forget about it?" I poked, turning back to Kili. If they weren't exaggerating, a treasury of that extent would be the desire of all, and a very useful tool at that. 

Kili cracked his knuckles, a nervous habit I noticed from earlier in the day. I did something similar. "It's a bit of a tale, if you're willing to sit for a bit."

Odds are, I would not be turning up to work in the morning. I would probably be spending the entire day searching for a missing dwarf in knee-deep snow under the rouse of being stuck in the house. "I'm all ears."

Kili cleared his throat. "The gold hoard attracted a dragon from the north. Dragons like riches, you know. He ransacked the mountain almost a hundred years before we were born, driving out the dwarves living there that he didn't kill and forming a bed out of the gold." Sounds uncomfortable. "The mightiest kingdom of the dwarves had been brought to ruin in mere minutes, and its people were left to wander in exile for over a hundred and fifty years. Fili and I were born while our family lived in Ered Luin, a mountain range several hundred miles west of Erebor, and while we weren't poor, we didn't exactly live as we would had we been in Erebor."

"We may not have been born at all," Fili interjected with a grin. "Amad met Adad in Ered Luin."

"Hypothetically," Kili replied with a dramatic eye roll, and I could tell Fili enjoyed getting a rise out of him. I just wanted to hear more of the story. "Anyway, Thorin got tired of having to work for Men in order to make a living, so he decided to try to take back to Lonely Mountain, with a push from Gandalf."

"Whoa, whoa, hold on a minute!" I put a hand up to each of their faces, stopping anymore words. "Back up. Who's Gandalf?"

"A famous wizard."

Wizard. Right. Should've seen that one coming. "And what exactly did he have to do with wanting to reclaim a dwarven kingdom?"

They both shrugged simultaneously. "He had his own agenda the whole time, we believe," Fili replied. "We didn't really pay too much attention to him so long as whatever he did got us our home back."

"Okay. Now I have to ask. What is so wrong about working for humans?"

They both had the audacity to giggle like a pair of schoolgirls. "A little insensitive, I guess," Fili said with a glance toward the other. "Men aren't exactly kind or appreciative of dwarves in our world, even toward those who deserve respect. Overbearing, picky, generally snobbish toward anybody that wasn't human."

Sounds familiar. Seemed this Middle-earth wasn't much different from regular Earth. "Gotcha. Kili?"

"Right. Well, Thorin gathered up a bunch of volunteers to make the journey to Erebor, and Gandalf decided to make his own addition to the company by bringing in a friend, Bilbo Baggins, who is a hobbit." So that's what Thorin was talking about the night before. "We reached the Lonely Mountain, half-dead but still kicking, and then the dragon woke up. He was killed, but the damage had been done."

I could only imagine what damage a dragon could do. "Damage" probably didn't cover it. "Apocalypse" sounded more in the direction of a dragon. "What do you mean?"

Fili hopped back in, a little less comfortable. "Gold that a dragon has sat on for so long takes on a...curse of sorts. Whoever comes near it is driven into madness fueled by greed and desire for the treasure. We all felt its affects, but Thorin was struck hard by it, and it caused him to make some poor choices. But what it turned him into, Holly... he was not the Thorin we knew from our childhood. Nowhere near it."

Kili's lip quivered in a sneer. "He became a coward with no regard for anyone except the gold. It almost began an unnecessary war pitting dwarves against elves and Men. It was...shocking, the things he did. But he came to his senses eventually and...died trying to make amends for what he'd done."

"Back to your question," Fili said, "the gold is an unpleasant reminder of that. I'm...almost glad we're not there to see it."

"Who would be king now?" Kili asked him quietly. "Dain?"

"Yes. He's next in line. If anybody can bring Erebor back to its glory days, it's him."

Kili mumbled something under his breath, but I didn't quite catch it as it was simultaneous with a sharp pop in the fire. Instead of pressing further, I sat and absorbed everything I'd just heard. I didn't really know what to make of it. I was still wrapping my head around dragons and orcs and wizards. This place they talked about seemed so big in comparison to our world. Anything was possible, but here, we are limited by science at the same time that we're empowered by it. If someone dared to believe that this kind of stuff existed, and actually set out to prove it, what things could we possibly discover along the way? A way to travel between dimensions? These dwarves found it accidently. What could a deliberate search turn up? But I doubted there would be any sort of revolutionary discovery in that field anytime soon, if there ever was. I didn't want to say it, but they might actually be stuck here. No, I needed to try first. Something.  _Anything._ I wouldn't leave them hanging without ever attempting. Now, where to begin?

"Mother would like you," Fili commented out of the blue, a handsome smile lifting his cheeks. 

In favor with a dwarf woman? I imagine that could only be good news, if their men were anything to go by. "Oh?"

"She would take great amusement out of anyone willing to try to break through Thorin's thick skull. We love him, but he tends to bow up at anybody who gets in his way, or that he believes does. Mother had little patience for his moods. She grew up with him after all, and knew just how to wrangle him in. You didn't back down from him yesterday. She would've laughed at how quickly you disarmed him."

He didn't seem used to anyone disagreeing with him. But he didn't exactly have many options in rebuttals. Looks like he's come up with one now, and is on his way to prove me wrong. I couldn't wait to give him an "I told you so" lecture. "Sounds like someone I'd like to meet."

"We'd love to introduce you," Kili said, his face falling. "I suppose we won't have the chance now."

"Give her my regards when you get back, then, yeah?" Tell her how much her sons have brought a change to my life I didn't know I needed.

They nodded. "We will."

We finished the tea shortly after that, deciding our search in the morning would require us to actually be alert and moving off to our respective "beds" once we had soaked our fill of the warm flames. Well, my body didn't entirely want to listen to reason at that moment. For as long as I remained awake, neither of the boys had anything but a restful slumber, the images they just divulged to me remaining out of sight. My eyes drifted to the doors every once in a while, waiting for the knock I wished would come before dawn. Soon, they became too heavy to hold, and I hoped my sleep wouldn't be so consuming as last night.

I was up just after light began to break through the dark, groaning from the lack of electricity once more. Come on, I needed my coffee! I settled for the icy water of the shower, thankful my pipes had not frozen. After my weird contortionist performance trying to tolerate the indecent water temperature, I found Fili and Kili neatening the living room. I smiled. "Thank you both." Wow, I have officially become Snow White, though it's the dwarves doing the cleaning rather than the other way around. I quite liked this revision of the story.

"The snow stopped." Kili pointed out the window. "We would like to go find Thorin."

I could understand their eagerness. After all, I had promised them we would search if he didn't return in the night, but he could be anywhere at this point if he hadn't thought to turn back toward the cabin. The many options of where to begin our goose chase whirled around in my head. Then the lightbulb moment came. I remembered telling him that civilization was west. Asheville sat in a valley about ten, maybe twelve miles in that direction as the crow flies.  _I_ could barely navigate that mess of a city. I had little faith that someone who didn't seem like he'd ever seen an automobile in his life would make it without causing a scene. Oh, lordy, if he got in trouble with the police, we'd be doomed. I doubted a short man in strange clothing without any kind of identification would slip out from beneath their radar so easily. How far would he have made it in the snow, though? "I've got an idea. You guys want to take a little ride?"

With a little bit of elbow grease, the three of us managed to dig out my truck tires just enough to get up on top of the snow. I could tell they were torn between gaping at the strange hunk of metal and whipping their butts into gear, but they eventually climbed in, Fili in shotgun and Kili leaning over the center console from the backseat. My baby started up with a few whirls of the engine and pulled out of the driveway like a knife through butter once I'd cranked up the four-wheel drive. Now for the heart-stopping descent from the ridge. "Once we get out onto the main road, keep an eye out for footprints," I told them both. "If your uncle walks as heavy through the snow as he does through the house, we may come across fresher tracks that weren't covered by the snow." Any number of people could've been walking along the side of the road at this point, but I'm sure none of them have Yeti feet.

After a treacherous slide down the side of the mountain, we finally found the actual road. A few tire tracks impressed into the snow, and one car was actually sitting in a ditch at the shoulder. After making sure there was no one inside, we pressed on at a snail's pace. As we crawled through the countryside, passing only a state trooper who waved at me, I scanned the entire area as thoroughly as I could while focusing on my driving. Everywhere I looked was covered in a thick blanket of snow, smothering cars that had not moved since it all began and sliding off tree branches not strong enough to hold them up. At one point, we came upon an energy company in a cherry lift working on a wire. They were hauling away a large limb that looked like it fit perfectly into the trunk of the tree above it. That must've been what caused the power outage. Hopefully they would have it up again soon. 

"This is a strange place," Fili commented, his eyes glued to everything except looking for footprints in the snow. I laughed; what irony, because residents would definitely agree with him though not for the same reasons he held.

"We're definitely a community of bizarre anomalies. Visitors from out of town ask us how we could possibly live out here with nothing to do. The barn I work at hosts trail rides, and once I show them my house from a popular viewpoint on the opposite ridge, it never fails that they'll bombard me with questions about living in a cabin on a mountainside." I pointed toward a pickup pulling another stranded car from the side of the road. "But we help each other out. There's no reason to alienate yourself when having a good relationship with someone nearby could save your life out here where it's almost forty-five minutes to the nearest medical center."

The blond nodded solemnly. "Very true. That's something we could stand to learn."

My brow quirked. "Who? You?"

"Dwarves. We're...not exactly the most open people. As you know, we keep our secrets close. Our people have pushed away allies from other races, and it cost us dearly, all because we would rather rely on ourselves. But I've seen the effects of allowing others to give you a hand when you need it, and you're right. We're much better off having peaceful relations so we don't end up suffering alone."

I was reminded of Mrs. Harper's words from yesterday. No, it seems like our worlds are not exactly that different after all.

"Footprints!" Kili shouted from the back, and I almost slammed on the brakes when my heart jumped. I glared at him through the rearview mirror, wondering why he wanted us to slide down the slope to the left so badly, but he was jumping from the truck before I could put it in park. Fili was a little more patient, waiting for me to turn into an overlook pull-off, but I could tell he was about to explode out of the door in a similar fashion. We both leapt out into the frigid cold air, jogging through the calf-deep snow after the bobbing head of dark hair in front of us. The short blond dwarf was actually faster than me as we barreled down a walking trail splitting off from the overlook (which had a gorgeous view of the town in the valley below), even though my legs were longer than his. I believe I referred to them as little powerhouses before, and I stand by my statement. He plowed through it like a moose. "Kili, wait!" I called out before the boy could get too far from us. He gradually slowed to a stop, face pointed toward the ground like a bloodhound. Fili and I stopped beside him, and I realized with an internal groan that I was the only one out of breath. "I haven't seen anything yet. Where're the prints?"

"Here!" He pointed into the snow, and I followed his finger. Sure enough, a very large boot print with a noticeable lack of treads one would find on hiking boots nowadays pressed into the uneven snow on the trail. They were on the way to being filled in again before the snow stopped, but there was still enough of a shape to follow it. Those had to have been left only hours ago. Whether or not they were Thorin's, I couldn't say for sure, but they were definitely a good start. 

"Are you guys good at tracking?" I asked, knowing the answer to my own question just from what I had learned about them so far.

"Kili's the hunter," Fili said with a tinge of pride in his uplifted face. "He once tracked a boar he shot for two hours, much longer than I would've gone before giving up."

"That's because you have no patience,  _nadad._ " Kili gave him an affectionate punch to the arm before moving off to follow the prints.

"Enough to deal with you," Fili mumbled, and I bit into my gloved knuckle to suppress a laugh. Grabbing a few sticks to mark our path in case we turned off somewhere, I followed the two dwarves into the snow-covered wilderness. 

As we walked, the prints gradually grew deeper and fresher. Somewhere along the way, Kili pointed out how the stride was much shorter than a human's, though the impressions remained much bigger than a child, the most likely owner if one went by length between prints alone. His confidence rubbed off on me, and aside from my marking, I almost followed him blindly. I had put my complete trust in this dwarf, and I found I wasn't entirely as put off by that thought as I anticipated I might be. At least we hadn't left the trail. However, after walking for an hour, the dimple between his eyes creased more and more. Then he started calling out, and I grew concerned for our target.

"Thorin!" Fili joined in, cupping his hands over his mouth. Their combined voices echoed off the ridges rising around us. Somebody would've heard us, and I hoped to God the right pair of ears would.

Then we came on a creek, and the morale of our little group drooped like willow branches. Kili stared at the prints on our bank, then at the lack of matching ones on the other side, and he huffed a hard breath that crystallized in front of his face in a large cloud. "He masked his tracks by following the water," he explained when I inquired.

"Why would he do that? There's no danger in these woods, except bears." Crap, I left my gun in the truck. Hopefully these guys did bear wrestling where they came from.

"Not a very good argument," Kili replied with a grin. "Our last encounter with a bear didn't start out that well."

I guess not.

"A force of habit," Fili answered my question. "He taught us to always do what we could to leave no trail to be followed behind, no matter if we thought we were being followed or not. There were much more dangerous things than bears to deal with in our travels."

I suppose orcs weren't something you wanted to meet on the road. "Well, then, now what?"

Kili pointed to the last visible print. "It's indented further into the ground on the right side, which means he put more weight there when he turned left. We follow it west."

I stopped, trying to blink against the glare on the snow as a small patch of sunlight broke through the clouds. I couldn't be seeing things, could I? There was absolutely a shape leaned up against a tree maybe fifty paces on the other side of the creek. Not going to lie, it looked like a trash bag. But the longer I stared, the more I began to see hair, and boots, and mail. This is not good. "Over here!" I shouted to the other two, who had begun to slosh through the trickling water, jumping across to take off at as much of a sprint as I could manage. The closer I drew to the figure, the more I realized it was most decidedly a dwarf. "Thorin!" I yelled, dropping to my knees beside the prone man. He was slumped against a wide pine tree, a few snowflakes covering his legs and head but nothing more than that. His face was pink from the cold, though his lips had not taken on the blue shade I expected to see. A large dash cut into his hairline, the blood from it dried on the side of his face. Oh, this is not good at all. "All right, lazy bones. Nap time's over."

"Thorin?" The boys knelt down beside me, reaching for any part of their uncle they could touch. "He came from that way," Kili announced in a shaky voice, pointing in the opposite direction from where we'd come.

"Why did he make a circle?" Fili asked, checking the rest of his clothes for blood while I dabbed the end of my coat to his forehead.

"Probably got lost," Kili replied. He took hold of a shoulder and shook it gently. "Uncle? You hear us?"

"Come on, buddy," I whispered into his ear as I tried to clean the red from his face. "Don't you leave them here alone to figure this all out."

At that moment, his chest expanded with a huge gulp of air, and his eyes fluttered open just a hair. He blinked a few times, trying to focus on the young dwarves going crazy trying to get him to respond. His hand lighted on his head, face scrunched. "Ah."

"What happened?" I asked, pushing away his excitable nephews so they didn't jostle his assumedly pounding head. "How'd you end up here?"

He looked around, still dazed though his awareness grew. "I...I don't remember."

Absolutely  _fantastic._ "What does that mean?"

"It means I can't remember," he snapped, the sharpness returning to his eyes just as they flickered up to me. Good, he was still himself. Or, oh no, he was still himself. I yelped when the boys hoisted him up onto his feet, as if he hadn't sustained a severe head wound. Despite my anticipating him toppling over like a tree, he stayed upright with a hand on the pine to steady himself. He stared at the ground, working through his thoughts. "I was walking through the creek, and a group of hunters came out of nowhere. I remember wanting to find a place to hide, but after that, there's nothing."

So he got knocked in the head by some territorial hunters. What in blue blazes would hunters be doing out now of all times? If I remember correctly, we're currently sitting on federally-owned land, which would make said hunting illegal. That doesn't really matter at the moment, though. I've got a concussed dwarf on my hands that's probably been sitting in the snow for a couple hours. He's not shivering, which could be that furnace inside him doing its job. "What hurts besides your head?"

"Nothing." He touched the break in the skin and grimaced. 

"That's not a lie, is it?" Fili asked, clearly used to working with the stubborn lump.

"No, Fili, it's not."

That was a little too forceful to be reassuring, methinks. "Well, _I'm_ freezing all four cheeks off standing here, so how about we try to make it back to the truck before whoever you ran into decides to come back and finish the job?"

"A couple of humans are no match for us," Kili said with a puffed chest.

"I don't care how much weapons training you have, you're not deflecting nor escaping a gun, especially something with enough power to take down a bear if need be. Which, as I mentioned before, is also something to consider as we dangle ourselves here like bait. Come on. It's a good walk to the road."

Eventually, we managed to blaze a path back the way we came, though the going was slow. Judging by Thorin's hard concentration on his footing, he was in a little more pain than he let on. I wracked my brain with what to do about him since the roads and his mysterious circumstances prevented the option of a hospital. His head had stopped bleeding, and he could actually walk, which I would take as a good sign there was no skull damage or internal bleeding. We just need to get him home and put him to bed before he tries to do anything that'll cause him to slip into a coma. Maybe his memories will come back soon.

It was noon by the time we managed to make it back to the cabin after a long walk and even longer climb up the mountain. Fili and Kili were by his side the entire time, cleaning away the blood with napkins I pulled from the glove compartment. They each had an arm over their shoulders as we walked to the house, so I just opened the door and followed as they led him to the couch. "Clothes off," I said, yanking a quilt off and shaking it out to unfold it.

"Your timing's atrocious, lass," Thorin murmured, a weak wicked grin in his beard.

"Thorin, if I _wanted_ to get your clothes off _at all_ , I would've done it by now. Trust me." That...was an absolute lie, but he wasn't going to know that when his splattered brain was already coming up with ideas with ridiculous ideas. Which, as his layers came off, I realized they weren't so ridiculous. As the last piece of armor came off, I faltered just a bit. _Oh, sweet mother of earth._ You don't get abs like that gardening. In fact, the gym didn't even carve a body like that. His stature would not hinder him in a fight with anyone, even if they were over six foot. Dark ink covered a good portion of his body, angular shapes linking like chains all up and down his arms, over his shoulders, and across a massive, fur-dusted chest. The scars also littering his front and back attested to that fighting prowess they liked to brag about. I wondered what someone who had marks like that had to go through to get them, and I decided I'd rather not know. A few in particular stood out: two large points dotted the top of his abdomen right under his pecs, jagged and pink against the rest of his untouched skin. They looked similar to the one on his face, newer than the others and still a little aggravated. That was the blow he took that killed him. Oh, how easy the mighty could fall.

I drew the curtains to keep out the sunlight, though I would've loved to bask in it after two days of overcast. Thorin nodded to me gratefully as he sat on the couch with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He let his head fall back and his eyes drift closed. When Fili and Kili asked after him for the umpteenth time, he waved them off with a plea for silence. They listened immediately, and I gave them the task of dealing with Thorin's clothes to keep their overactive minds occupied. I tossed a pillow at the relaxing dwarf, earning a glare through his lashes. "I want to talk when you're feeling up to it."

He nodded, wincing against the movement. "Whatever you say."

Yes, you will be answering whatever I ask, because I quite think I'm owed it.


	4. New Things

I never thought in all my years of life I would ever be shown how to clean and care for chainmail. Who besides medieval reenactment actors would need to know how to maintain chainmail? But here I was, my sink filled with a dishsoap/water solution and my hands slick with grease from the vest. Now, I'm perfectly capable of learning something new, and I'm certainly not opposed to gaining a skill I will never  _ever_ use again (I learned how to crotchet from my aunt once, and the pattern has since left my brain). However, it would've been a much better arrangement if I was the one tending to Thorin's leather jacket instead because I, too, have a leather jacket that I clean regularly. Also, horse tack as given me an appreciation for what a little polish can do to leather. But Fili was doing such a fantastic job on it, I certainly couldn't jump in with a suggestion for a switch. And his little tongue poking out as he concentrated on his work was the absolute most cherubic thing I have ever seen.  _That_ was going nowhere if I had anything to say about it. Kili, however, made my day.

Amongst my relative's old antiques I never had the heart to remove from the house, I found an old washboard. And no, it wasn't Thorin. That's right, the real deal. It was quite worn with use, and I had no clue how old it actually was, but it wasn't rotted or brittle so I imagined it would work. I shoved that thing into a bucket and a pile of clothes into Kili's hands and ordered him to get scrubbing. He blinked at me in surprise, but made no attempt to refute my direct command. Fili had an entire palm over his mouth once Kili had disappeared out the side door, little sniffles coming from behind it. I worried he would suffocate, but he waved me off and returned to his work with a permanent grin plastered on his face. Now Kili was outside, sitting in a little patch of sunlight on the porch, elbow-deep in soapy water and the coat Thorin took from my guest room held between his hands as he ran it up and down the board. I was having a hard time keeping a straight face myself.

Thorin was still stretched out on the couch, laying back on a pillow propped against the arm with his eyes shoved into the inner crook of his elbow. He had barely stirred since he first laid down, sending a small smirk toward Kili as he left with his washing. Even that made him grimace and return to the darkness of his arm. Fili would send a concerned look his way every now and then, as if he were trying to solve a difficult crossword puzzle at the same time as he checked on his health. It made me nervous, and I leaned over to inquire about it into his ear. He just shrugged from the stool he sat on at my right side, concentrating on his work as he answered. "If Thorin has no desire to power through his injury with a bark against any who try to coddle him, I fear it's more serious than we first imagined. He was malnourished, ailing from mental torment, and exhausted from our journey when he fought in the battle against Azog, uh, the orcs. If he could summon the strength to do that, a simple headache would not put him down this easily."

Or perhaps he was tired of keeping up such pretenses. It sounds exhausting to me, putting the weight of all their troubles on himself. Maybe he just finally wanted to rest after all the time he spent trying to be strong for the group he led. I don't blame him. In fact, it thrilled me. It told me that he finally accepted my home as a place of comfort and safety that he could let his guard down for just a moment. But I wouldn't put aside Fili's worries. He had known his uncle all his life, far longer than I have, and if this is unusual behavior, I had to pay close attention to him.

"What I don't understand," Fili continued after a moment, his voice barely audible in his hushed whisper, "is how a human managed to cause that much damage that it would leave him in such pain. Dwarves have thick skulls." He grinned when I sent him a look. "Figuratively, yes, but also literally. Our bones are dense. It takes a lot of force to break them, and even more force to leave us with a concussion. I don't see a human doing that."

"The butt of a rifle is pretty hard." I pointed to my shotgun sitting near his feet with my chin. "It's similar to that there. It can do a lot of damage."

"Nothing more than the hilt of a sword could, and I know he's taken many pommels to the face and shaken it off with a laugh. I'm worried, Holly."

I smiled gently, the only comfort I could offer with my hands full of mail. "He'll be fine. I'm sure he'll be on his feet again by sundown. If he doesn't get a fever from spending a night out in the snow."

He chuckled. "Now  _that_ is something we are entirely impervious to. Dwarves do not get ailments like humans do. What do you call them, influenza? Head colds? Even festering wounds do little to us except give us an extra pinch to be grumpy about. We would be chilled all the time from spending our lives in damp underground caverns."

Sounds like the perfect deal. Incredibly skilled, no colds, and amazing fighting prowess despite being almost half the size of the enemy. I want to be a dwarf now.

"That should be clean by now." He pointed to my task, and I lifted the mail from the water to rinse it off and set it aside on a towel laid out across the counter. I dabbed it lightly with another towel, then left it alone to dry the rest of the way. Fili pursed his lips as he stared at it. "You don't happen to have any kind of grease for that, do you?"

I had no idea what kind of grease you put on chainmail. I expect it had something to do with keeping it from rusting. I think I remember seeing a can of WD-40 on a shelf in the basement. That might work well. If not, I knew the Harpers had some. "Let me take a walk and I'll get back to you on that." Drying off my hands, I padded through the house toward the hallway where the door to the basement was, peeking at the blanketed lump on the couch real quick as I went by. The basement was cold, as usual, so I skipped across the cement floor in my socks toward the shelves next to an old work bench. I found the can and turned to head back upstairs. Then I stopped. Something was missing down here. It's not like I kept meticulous inventory on what my uncle had stashed down here in an effort to save money on a storage unit, but I felt like it was something noteworthy. My cluttered brain wouldn't come up with whatever it was, so I shrugged it off and jogged back up the steps. Once all this craziness is over, I would do a thorough check, just to make sure I hadn't had any overfriendly neighbors slipping in through the door down there and taking what they pleased. I displayed the can for Fili to see and set it on the counter next to the mail. "You probably have more experience with something like that. Just press on the nozzle to spray the grease."

He grinned. "Thanks, Holly."

I slipped on a coat, boots, and toboggan and headed out the door to see to Kili. He had just finished with Thorin's undershirt, ringing it out and laying it across the railing cleared of snow with the rest of the clothing. He looked up when my boots thumped on the porch. "How's Thorin?"

"The same." I gathered up the wet clothes and laid them across my arm, shivering at how cold the air had made them. I looked guiltily at Kili's hands, which were red from the frigid water, but he didn't seem too uncomfortable. He stared at me in confusion as I gathered up the clothing. "I'll hang these up over the washer. They'll dry faster if they aren't out here. They might freeze to the railing, too."

He snorted. "True." He dumped the water over the side of the porch and set the bucket against the wall. "So, how are you?"

I cocked my head, waiting for the punchline. Oh, that's certainly a serious face. I scrambled to catch up with the awkward silence I left hanging around us. "I'm fine. And you?"

A great smile put dimples into the stubble across his jaw. "I am well. But I wasn't making polite conversation. How are you doing with everything that's going on? I know this must be strange for you, us showing up out of nowhere, talking about things you've never seen before. I'm...sure you've thought about kicking us out a time or two, and I wouldn't blame you. We aren't exactly the easiest people to live with, or so Mother says. You've been very generous to us for letting us stay here, even though you're struggling with this storm in the meantime, but none of us have actually stopped to consider how you must be feeling about us. If there's anything you need us to do, like wash clothes or something along those lines, don't be afraid to ask. We're used to working hard to live, and it won't bother us any to pay you back for all your help."

I just grinned as he rambled on and on, struck by the innocence in this young boy who's seen more darkness than many people on this earth can relate to. His pure heart was refreshing in a world so fraught with hate, and I couldn't help wondering if he was the same light in his own dull and turbulent universe. I didn't need to be a psychiatrist to know that's what he was to Fili, who was still very much like him. But especially Thorin. The way he looked at both of them when he thought they weren't looking was something akin to the deepest love one could hold. I was envious, I'll admit. I wondered what it would feel like to receive such a stare. What if it had the same intense blue eyes behind it? Stop. "I'm not looking for payment, Kili," I told him honestly. "You guys have dealt with enough. And you've certainly been a big help to me already. This storm would be a lot more difficult to handle if I was the only one in the house. It would drive me crazy, but you being here is comforting. So don't think you're being lazy if you want to just sit and relax for a while."

I was rewarded with that gorgeous grin once again, and he bobbed his head enthusiastically. "Thanks, Holly. I really appreciate that. But I'm here when you need me."

"I know you are." I led the way back into the cozy house, making sure the door was shut tight behind us. I hung up the clothes on a wrack in my laundry cubby, making sure to keep Thorin's things separated from the rest, and headed back into the kitchen to gather some food as compensation toward my hard-working housewives. When I went to ask Thorin if he wanted something, I found him fast asleep tucked beneath his quilts. I briefly wondered how much rest he'd gotten the night before, if at all, and left him be. If I snuck a couple glances at the tranquil, creaseless expression on his face as I chatted quietly with the boys over a bag of tortilla chips and the slowly-draining jar of salsa, no, I wouldn't admit it.

"What's in this?" Fili pointed to the jar after loading up a chip with the spicy dip from heaven.

"Tomatoes, peppers, jalapenos. Anything spicy just about fits in salsa. There's different recipes."

"I don't think we have anything like this," Kili mused. "I wonder if Bombur would be able to find the ingredients to make something similar."

"I'm sure," Fili chuckled. "He put together just about anything from scratch on the quest."

"So who came with you guys on this mission to get your home back?" I asked, wondering what kind of people would volunteer to go up against a dragon. Dwarves, obviously. From what I could gather, they all seemed inclined to perform impossible feats. Compensating for something maybe? Hm.

"There were thirteen of us dwarves," Kili answered. "Bilbo and Gandalf made fifteen, though Gandalf came and went as he pleased so it was mostly just fourteen of us. A lot of distant relatives. There was Balin and Dwalin, who are probably closest to us in our family tree than the rest. Oin and Gloin came from some marriage a few generations back. Those two pairs are brothers." He looked to Fili with a scrunched brow. "Dori, Nori, and Ori come from somebody way, way back, don't they?"

The blond nodded around a bite. "Some king's bastard way back when. A very rare case; dwarves usually don't seek companionship outside of their wives."

"And then there was Bofur, Bombur, and Bifur. Bofur and Bombur are brothers, and Bifur is their cousin. They have no relation to us; they just wanted to see Erebor. But things certainly wouldn't have been the same without them."

"No, indeed."

God, what  _are_ these names? Suddenly, dwarf women don't seem all that extraordinary if they're naming their kids these absolutely ludicrous titles. Talk about "please punch me" names for any of these guys growing up. Did they say one of them was  _Gloin_? Imagine if one of those letters had been switched with something else. Ha! "Sounds like a lot of chances for sibling rivalry."

"That was most of the entertainment we got," Kili laughed, obviously remembering something in particular. 

"And were you two leading it all?"

By the sheepish grins they sent each other, I'd gather a "yes" to that.

And then, as if by some holy summons, there was a distinct whirring from some obscure place in the house as it came back to life. A blast of warm air shot out of the vent above us, bathing us in its delicious relief. I inhaled the wonderful smell of the heater. "Oh, finally!" Slipping off the table, I dashed toward the AC dial on the wall and adjusted it so the icebox-of-a-house would warm up quicker. Just to set my mind at ease, I flicked on the kitchen lights. They blinked on in their usual fashion, and I let out a big sigh. Well, that was one less thing to worry about.

"Where is that coming from?" Kili asked, staring at the opening in the ceiling. "You can't possibly have any forges anywhere."

I raised an eyebrow. "Any what now?"

"Dwarves' homes are heated by the great forges in our underground cities. That's the only place we've seen heat sources come from besides a fire."

So that's how Thorin recognized the whole furnace thing. "Electricity isn't something I'm very versed on," I told them. "I don't know the ins and outs, but it can cause mechanical functions that help make life a little easier. Central heating is one of them. Most people here don't have the first clue about how to live without it, and that includes me, though I've learned a little more than your average person since I moved out here." I'm far from Bear Ghrylls, though.

"This place gets more and more peculiar by the day," Fili chuckled, shaking his head.

"Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet."

With the electricity up and running again, I shoved the hanging clothes into the drier and the dishes sitting by the sink into the dishwasher. The house quickly warmed up enough for me to shed the sweatshirt that had become a permanent fixture on my body since two nights ago. I changed out of my jeans and into fleece pajama pants, hoping I could settle down and watch a movie tonight. You know, bask in the commodities of modern living. I'm sure the boys would enjoy that. By the time dark fell, a thick layer of clouds covered up the mountains once again, and the weather channel warned of a slight chance for more snow later on. That would definitely put a damper on things. However, things started to look a little more northward when Thorin woke up. While Fili and Kili indulged in a warm shower (I assume not together), I sat watch over the third dwarf from my perch on the opposite couch arm. He took in a deep breath, reaching up to run a hand over his eyes. He looked at me through his lashes without lifting his head. "What time is it?"

"Six in the evening. You had a pretty good nap there."

"Sorry." He slid his hands beneath his body and pushed up to sit back against the couch. He winced, clearly still feeling the aftershocks of his injury.

"You needed it. It's not like you were in any shape to do anything else."

He stared at the fire, which I insisted we keep going for mood, as if returning to a dream he'd been having with his eyes open. "Still..."

"I had plenty of help from the other two, and they never once tried to hide their enthusiasm."

He grinned, puffing a small laugh through his nose. He seemed to remember what had gone on before he went to sleep. "They are eager. Fili's a crowd-pleaser. Kili just can't sit still for very long."

"Products of good raising."

"You have their mother to thank for that."

"Not just her, from what I've heard."

A knowing smirk settled on me, one that almost had me shifting uncomfortably. "You are buttering me up before your grand interrogation. Just ask, Holly. I have no energy to fight you."

Well, that made me feel somewhat guilty. The gash in his head didn't seem to have gotten any worse, but I'm sure he'll have a good thumping against his skull for quite a while. Maybe I should let him rest some more. But then I thought about him making me trudge through deep snow in below-freezing temperatures for hours just because he wanted to play the hero, and all that remorse slipped out like a wet bar of soap. I leaned against on the couch, laying my arm across the back. "Why'd you leave?"

He shook his head, actually looking a little chagrined. "I am as restless as Kili. I cannot sit around and wait for something to happen. It is why I set out to reclaim our lost home."

"So you decided to take off into a world you had no idea about with what agenda exactly?"

A muscle in his jaw jumped. "I had none."

"Right. So you don't trust me to help you?"

"Our discussion from the other night still stands. I don't believe you  _can_ help us, no matter how much you want to. I thought, if I could make it to your city, I would stand a better chance at finding something out rather than just sitting here waiting for the answer to show up at the door. I am sorry for the inconvenience I caused you, and for shoving my nephews on you."

When will this guy get it? "There really isn't much we can do while this storm continues. Our best bet is to wait for the snow to melt so we can actually leave the house without worrying about sliding down the side of the mountain. Answer me this, Thorin. Do you actually trust me?"

He paused, searching for the right words in the palms of his hands. Or the will to answer. "I do not believe you mean us ill. You have been nothing but kind to us. It is...difficult for me to let others in. My experiences with Men have been mostly apathetic at best."

"Have I given you any reason to think I'd cheat you out of something? Or take advantage of you? I am not like the people you worked for."

He sat up a little straighter, taken aback and slightly peeved. "I see they have been offering you much information about us. What else do you know of me?"

There it was. "Good. You just answered my question." I moved down onto the cushion to sit at the same level as him. "You're right, Thorin. I don't have any bad intentions toward you. I don't know what it is I  _could_ gain from you. You arrived here with nothing but the clothes on your back and the terrible shock from your painful death. I know nothing except that you traveled with a group of people to reclaim your lost home and you died trying to do the right thing. From that, I've concluded that you are an honorable leader, a faithful friend, and a loving uncle. You would go to any length to do what's right for them. Please. Whatever it is I have to do to make you trust me, I'll do it. Just stop trying to make the world spin with your bare hands."

His head fell back against the couch, lashes fluttering as he stared at the rafters above. Fists clenched in his lap, I could tell he was either going to scream or punch something. I hoped I was not in the vicinity when he exploded. However, he did neither, slumping into the cushions instead. Defeat pulled his shoulders down, and his hands fell slack. "I want to trust you." His eyes shifted over to me. "I really do."

I opened my arms, palms turned upward. "I have nothing to hide. No shady past, no questionable engagements. I'm just a simple girl trying to get by."

He nodded, breathing out a long sigh into the air. After a moment's hesitation, he said, "Fine. Any other questions?"

"What happened after you left?"

"I followed the road in the direction you told me. I thought I could get to the city before nightfall, but then the snow began again. The wind became too much to bear, so I took shelter in a shed behind a house."

Oh, holy bones. It's only by the grace of God he's alive right now. "Did anyone...?"

"No one saw me. I am not that careless. I walked until the road led onto a slope, and I realized I had very little cover, so I decided to cut through the woods. I could see the lights of the city so I knew I was going in the right direction. I found the creek, but not long after that, someone else found me." He scrunched his nose, trying to pull the memories up. "Two men, tall, wearing green coats that looked like the bark and twigs of trees. They each had one of those." He pointed into the kitchen. "Or something like it. I hid behind a tree, but they were coming in my direction, so they would see the footprints I left in moving there. I...think there was a cave nearby. I don't know. Everything falls apart then. I don't remember talking to them or engaging them. It's all black until I woke up with you hovering over me, looking rather concerned."

"I was. I thought you were seriously hurt."

"What would that matter to you? One less squatter in your home."

I rolled my eyes. "I care about you. Why do you think I'm so bent on trying to send you home?"

A warm, indulgent smile crossed his bearded face, and he turned away. Was that a...blush on his cheeks? Apparently, it was that mindboggling to know that someone actually wished him to be safe. When he looked back at me, however, I saw no shyness. A shiver ran all the way through my body at the intensity of that stare. If I was skillful at determining facial expression, I'd say he was trying to figure me out himself, to read my mind as if he were reading a newspaper. I wondered if he was successful, as he settled back with significantly less tension in his body than earlier. "I hope we do not unwittingly bring trouble to your simple life, Miss Holly. There are any number of dangers from our world that could cross over to this one just as easily as we did. Were they to land in your home in the same way, I fear your sharp tongue would falter in saving you."

"Then I suppose it's a good thing I have three strong dwarves to come to my rescue."

His lips crooked again, and I reveled in the pleasant change. "Indeed."

I folded my arms over my bent knees, resting my chin on them. "So?"

"So..."

"Are you going to let me help?"

He turned his eyes upward with a shake of his head, the playful gesture making me giggle. He sighed. "Yes, Holly, I will let you help us."

I jumped up, throwing my hands into the air. "He's rational. By golly, it's a Christmas miracle! It's like the sun shining through a break in the clouds. Like a door that actually fits the doorframe."

"All right, you've proved your point." But laughter twinkled in his eyes, crinkling them just a bit more in the corners. I wanted to stare for just a bit longer, but quickly decided how bad of an idea that would be. Too long, and I might never want to look away again.

*****************************

With the heat back on, I could finally return to my bed in the loft. The warmth of the fire was endlessly comfortable to sleep next to, but the floor in front of it definitely wasn't. It seemed to call to Thorin, however, as he refused to get up from his spot and go to the guest room when everyone else in the house was ready to shove him in there. The leather couch was made for sitting, not sleeping. However, he adamantly pointed the boys toward the bed instead, insisting that he didn't feel like getting up to go in there anyway. To punctuate his gracious refusal, he made a show of flopping back down onto the pillows like a stubborn child, obviously regretting it when he had to squeeze his eyes shut for a moment. Fili and Kili knew they were pushing against a brick wall, so they took turns pressing their foreheads to their uncle's (something I noticed them doing before) and wishing me goodnight before disappearing into the first floor bedroom. The door didn't close all the way, a convenient crack letting in any sound they felt they would need to hear despite how they seemed to sleep like rocks. I set Thorin up with a few more pillows, offering a glass of water and ibuprofen. He wanted no part of any drugs, but took the water with a grin. Once I made sure the grate next to the hearth was filled with sufficient wood, I made my way upstairs to bed to sleep off the day's excitement. 

I dreamt of eyes, blue as the sky over a blanket of snow. The air was crisp, imprinted on my skin after days of feeling anything but. However, like waves of heat from burning coals in a blacksmith's pit, I knew he was near. Calluses rasped across my skin, not unlike what I had acquired using a pitchfork on an almost daily basis. They brushed up my arm, over the bend of my elbow, and up onto my shoulder, which was bare despite being out in the snow. That's where we were. And although I was looking into two windows to a cloudless horizon in front of me, it was dark and flakes danced through the branches of the trees. Being out in the woods at night always unnerved me, but I couldn't spare a bit of attention to our surroundings as I stared at who stood before me. One corner of Thorin's lips curled up, the movement causing some snowflakes caught in his beard to slip out. His hand left my shoulder, the cold air rushing in to replace his touch and give me shivers. He mumbled something, the tone of his voice audible but without coherent words. It was a soft murmuring, beckoning, as he took a step back. His head tilted to the side, the rest of his body following, and he began to walk off into the night. Anxious about being alone, and very much willing to follow him wherever he went, I was on his heels in an instant. He didn't look back, but he knew I was behind him.

As we walked silently through the storm, hair whipping about in the wind, I soon realized it wasn't so cold anymore. I quickly became aware that I was now wrapped in a cloak of fine fabrics my meager peasant hands would never be worthy of touching, the collar shimmying with the softest fur I'd ever seen. I buried my nose in it, aware of the grin of amusement set on me from my left side. Thorin also had on a midnight blue cloak trimmed in a thick pelt, but I couldn't see anything underneath it. An obscure part of my mind briefly wondered if there was anything, and I hid my blush in my collar again. Another part chided me from acting so bashful, and I was confused as to where that one come from. I finally took a moment to look around, not recognizing where we were. Past the bridge of Thorin's nose, a break in the trees afforded me the view of a tall, pointed peak in the distance, a dark outline against the white snow. There was nothing like that in North Carolina. Maybe in the Rockies, but the Blue Ridge Mountains were more high hills than anything. I didn't feel the need to dwell on it. 

"Where are we going?" I asked, my words slow and slurred. 

"What do you mean?" Thorin's low baritone sounded far off, though he walked right next to me. Very close, actually. "Do you not remember the way?"

"I do," I blurted out, even though I really didn't. "Why did we decide to come out in this storm?"

He chuckled, clasping his hands behind his back as he took long strides to get ahead of me a bit. "I knew you would regret it. But you insisted on coming out tonight, no matter the weather. That blame belongs to you,  _mizim._ "

I tried to think of where we could possibly be going. And why would  _I_ want to come out in white-out conditions? Doesn't sound like me. "This is important," I said aloud as I came to that conclusion.

"Indeed it is. I am glad to be out here with you for this special occasion, even if it's not the most comfortable of situations. In fact, if the snow worsens, I would be more than happy to take shelter with you out here until the storm passes. It would actually be the perfect place to do so."

I thought the same. "Our cloaks would make the perfect bed." And why did I think  _that_?

His smirk was devilish. "Yes, they would."

Eventually, we came on a cluster of pine trees growing close together, their limbs a tangled mess of green needles. The landmark. Whatever it was we were walking to, it was behind those trees. When I turned back to Thorin, his smile had become soft and genuine, and he held out a hand for me to take. I did.

And then I woke up. Because that's how life screws us all over. Giving you amazing dreams you don't understand, making them as real as they could possibly feel but explaining  _nothing_ about them, then swiping them away when you reached the best part. I stared at the curtains covering my window, wishing the light behind them could go away so I could justify rolling over and attempting to find that dream again. Anytime I tried that in the past, however, I never succeeded, so I just whipped the covers down to my feet and slid out onto the chilly wood floor. I thought about pressing my cheeks to it. They were on fire. How could I possibly walk down those stairs and face Thorin after dreaming about him? Even if I managed to get rid of the pink tint in my face, it would inevitably come back as soon as I so much as locked eyes with him. Maybe I could indulge in a scalding hot shower and blame it on that, or stay by the fire all day. That sounded convenient and enjoyable. I wonder if Thorin would join me there for a cup of coffee. Okay, girl, you need to stop. The man doesn't deserve to be shamelessly fantasized about.

But it certainly isn't hard to.

Because I'd been deprived of it, I turned the water temperature up all the way, sighing in near ecstasy at the steam swirling around me. Oh, yes, heaven. I never wanted to leave. Then I remembered I could actually have my morning coffee, and I rushed to finish cleaning up and drying off. As I almost bounced down the stairs, I could hear low murmurs coming from the room below. Gold sat next to silver-and-obsidian on the couch, and I managed to catch the tale end of a compliment from the older dwarf before I hit the bottom. It had been a good one judging by Fili's beaming smile, the very picture of a kid who'd just found out he'd done something to make his parents proud. It didn't leave even when he turned to look at me. "Morning, Holly."

"Morning." I returned the smile, deciding I could be brave and not rude and sent one to Thorin as well. "You look pleasant. Head finally giving you some peace?"

His grin came easier and lighter. "It is."

"Good. Now you won't have to be the lump on my couch all day." I heard Fili snicker as I dashed to the kitchen to throw on the coffee maker. I took out four cups from the cupboard, putting just enough grounds in for each of us to have our share. Immediately, the delightfully rich smell filled the house, and for a moment, it truly felt like home. Then I felt a presence behind me, and I remembered I wasn't alone now. Thorin leaned back against the table, arms crossed over his chest but face looking very open. I was relieved that he had thought to slip his shirt back on, as I probably wouldn't be able to control my cheeks otherwise. "How do you take your coffee?" I asked idly.

He shrugged. "The way it is, I suppose. I don't drink it often."

"You better get used to it in my house. Caffeine's a staple here."

He nodded, and I could tell he was stewing on something before he spoke. "I never thanked you for your kind words yesterday."

"Which ones? Good leader and uncle and such? They're the truth. I don't need to see you in action to glean that."

"Fili said he and Kili told you about what happened before the battle. Are you sure of that?"

I took the pot and poured the dark liquid into each cup, reaching for the sugar and cream to make mine as blonde as I could. "We all have our imperfections, Thorin. I've got regrets out the wazoo. Doesn't mean they have to define who we are. One bad deed doesn't negate a thousand good ones, as if they never happened. Your nephews wouldn't look at you with pride and admiration if that was the case. I have eyes, you know."

"I noticed," I heard him mumble, but pretended I didn't. I just handed him his cup, which he accepted with a small smile. "Thank you. For this, and your sentiment. You're a laudable woman, Holly."

"Now who's piling on the flattery?" I laughed, trying to cover up how much my heart stuttered in its duty for a split second. Thankfully, Fili entered just then, helping me to recover. I gave him his coffee, peering into the living room. "Where's the energizer bunny?"

He gave me a quick head tilt in confusion but answered anyway. "He left."

My delicious steaming coffee nearly slipped from my hand, which would debatably give me more despair than what I'd just heard. Debatably. "You've got to be joking me!" I did  _not_ want to spend a second day in a row hunting a dwarf in the snow. It didn't end all that well the first time, and I sure didn't want to see how another one may or may not improve. "The hell is he thinking? Did he not learn a thing from yesterday?"

"He didn't go far," Thorin said, sipping his coffee nonchalantly  _as if his youngest nephew wasn't wandering the blizzard-ridden woods alone_! "He wanted to bring you a surprise."

Never have I dreaded a surprise more in my life than I did now. He's going to be in for quite the surprise himself when I wring his neck for taking off. "With what?"

"Do surprises mean something else here?" Fili asked, scratching at his jaw. "We can't tell you."

"Nuh-uh. We're not playing that game. You better tell me right now where he is and what he's doing or I swear I'm going to--" I was interrupted by a thump just outside the side door which, for intents and purposes, sounded exactly like what I was dreading. Three knocks shook the curtains on it, and I shoved past Fili to march toward it and throw it open. On the porch stood an exhausted looking Kili, sweat dampening his hair line despite the cold. But his usual beaming grin was in place, and looked especially wide when he noticed it was me. 

"Holly! Good, you're up. I brought some payment toward our board here." 

Behind him, dangling over the railing of the porch, was a buck with an impressive rack on his head. I looked down to see what the dwarf was leaning on, and I pressed two hands to my face.

So that's what was missing from the basement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Kili, what have you done?
> 
> So somebody mentioned the deer thing a couple chapters back. Funny thing is, I had actually planned on doing something with them going hunting for her before that comment was made. So congrats to catsg7. You hit the nail on the head! XD 
> 
> Also, if you haven't noticed, I changed the protag's name from Leah to Holly. No real reason, just felt a change coming on.


	5. The Cave

There were times where I hadn't enjoyed living all by myself on the side of a mountain with only the lights of the houses on the opposite ridge to let me know I wasn't actually alone in the otherwise wild wilderness surrounding me. I wasn't a terribly social person, but that didn't mean I disliked the efficiency of walking down the street from an apartment to sit in a coffee shop with a friend. But I was given the chance to live in a gorgeous cabin just a stone's throw from my job, and I was going to take it.

And then there were times, like right now, that I could throw myself onto my face and praise Jesus that there were no witnesses. Witnesses to the lifeless body of a (holy crap, he's huge!) deer dangling from the wood railing of my porch currently being stripped of his skin, and to the murder of a young boy with shaggy dark hair and a grin that could easily get him out of said disembowelment if I wasn't simmering with steam rolling out of my ears. Kili hummed to himself as he maneuvered the pelt now unraveling off the deer, clearly proud of his impressive catch but thoroughly snuffled by my response to his gift, and I caught his eye every time he glanced toward me. I must've been a terrifying picture, standing in the snow beet red with my arms crossed and my back straight as a rod, because he grew smaller and smaller every time he looked. Good. Maybe he'll get the message eventually.

"I don't understand what you're so angry about," Thorin grumbled from my right side, mimicking my stance but his scowl was set on me. He had not taken kindly to the way I reacted to his nephew's thoughtful present, using the greater mass he had compared to me when his height lacked the appropriate amount of intimidation. I hadn't heard his voice go quite that low and gravelly since he'd been here, and I would've melted into a puddle on the floor if I wasn't already evaporating on the spot. "You have had to take food from a neighbor because you did not have what you needed to be prepared for this storm. Now here you are with meat to last you several weeks, if not a month, and you're turning your nose up at it."

I sighed, rolling my eyes to the cloudless sky above. Seems like a simple look wasn't going to clue this guy in. Should probably go with a more direct approach, which didn't seem to work on him anyway but it was better than nothing. "First of all, I didn't take that food from my neighbor because I needed it. If I needed food, I would have braved the snow to go out and get it, even if the trip took me three hours instead of the usual thirty minutes. The store's only a few miles down the road. Mrs. Harper is a good friend who had extra she was compelled to give me, and I felt bad saying no. Secondly, I'm not turning my nose up at the meat. I happen to like venison, thank you."

"Then explain your outburst. I feel like Kili hardly deserved to be yelled at for doing you a favor, even if he did take the bow without asking."

Okay, I did yell. The sight of a dead deer on my porch threw me off guard, and I panicked. But I did not once convey ungratefulness for his consideration. It was a sweet gesture, I would concede. "Thorin, I don't know how many times I have to say it before it finally gets through your thick skull. This world is not like yours. You can't just go out and shoot a deer whenever you feel like it. All of this land out here is owned by  _somebody,_ and it definitely ain't me. This little plot we're standing on is all I got. No matter where he went, Kili trespassed to get that deer, and people around here don't take kindly to trespassers. That was my main fear when you left. I got mad because, if he'd been hurt getting a gift for me, I'd feel like crap about it. And trust me, the manner in which he got hurt would not have been a simple whack on the hand by an angry farmer. Those weapons you saw the hunters carrying, what  _I_ carry, are more dangerous than a sword or a bow."

"You seem to think we are incapable of handling ourselves against threats. I have spent decades fighting against enemies and beasts the like of which you can never fathom, Miss Hostess. Men with advanced technology cannot come close to us."

"Says the guy who got knocked out by a man with said advanced technology, which was used in the most nonlethal way."

"I have no proof that that happened, as I don't remember what actually occurred."

"But you can't disprove it." There was no other explanation, or had his brain been rattled a little too much?

"Don't change the subject."

"I haven't. You're the one getting defensive because of your wounded pride."

"Then do not coddle us like invalids!" He stepped up to block my line of sight, his nose only an inch or two from mine. "You are not responsible for us. If we choose to leave, we will, and you can rest assured that we will thrive."

"Then don't come crawling back to me on your hands and knees when you realize just what you've gotten yourself into."

Quicker than I could've expected from him, his hand gripped my wrist and squeezed until it went numb. His blazing eyes burnt straight into mine as he growled, "I have never lowered myself in such a way, Miss Holly. And I will not start with you." Releasing my protesting limb, he trudged back up to the house through the snow. I could've sworn his footfalls melted the snow on contact and steamed.

I feel like I will forever be going around and around in the same circle with him. How is all that stubbornness compacted into one person? He died, for Pete's sake! It's clear he isn't invincible. Why does he feel the need to continue the pretense that nothing can stop him? He'll get himself killed again in the process, if it's even possible. And why do I care? What on this wide earth has made me care so much about a man that continues to infuriate me, dragging us back two steps for every step forward? I wouldn't tolerate it from any other man. What makes him so special? Is it pity? I feel bad for his situation, being stranded in an unknown place with a stranger after coming so close to finding peace in his afterlife. He deserves the chance to rest for all he's done for other dwarves. I want that for him like nothing I've ever felt before. But  _why_?

Ugh.

"Holly?" 

I jerked out of my daydream, probably looking a lot like the deer did when he realized there was an arrow coming toward him. Kili had a bag hanging over his shoulder, the skin he'd been working on inside it. Behind him, the deer had been lowered to the ground, the tarp I used to cover the firewood that no longer sat there now laying over the lump. Kili shuffled his feet, pointedly avoiding my eyes. "I was going in. Didn't know if you were following me."

I sighed, deciding to wipe away the grilling questions from my head for the moment so as not to start the day off with a killer headache, which would undoubtedly stick with me until I fell asleep tonight. "Yeah, I'm comin'." We followed the bootprints in the snow around the house and up to the steps leading to the side door. "I'm sorry for shouting at you."

He shrugged. "No, you're right. Things are obviously different here, and you're more experienced with them than we are after only four days. I just...I saw the bow downstairs, and it had a quiver with it, and I couldn't help myself."

"There are laws about hunting. Deer can only be hunted at a certain time during autumn. And unless the owner of the land has given you express permission to hunt on their property, you can't do it. Did you see any houses where you shot it?"

He shook his head. "Nowhere near any. It was just wilderness." He pointed back down the slope. "I think it was down in the valley. I remember looking up and seeing your house at one point."

Maybe we got lucky and no one saw him. Odds were, the police wouldn't even be able to track him here anyway. "Well, at any rate, I'm touched that you thought of me enough to do that. I'll definitely make good use of the meat." A series of recipes including stew began to roll around in my head. Maybe I can find someone to cure and salt it so I can have some jerky. 

He picked up the bow, which was still leaning against the side of the house where he'd left it. "What kind of bow is this? I've never seen anything like it."

"That would be a compound bow. Standard for use in all things archery." I believe. I've only shot one once or twice. Why I had one in my basement would be added to the long list of questions that have arisen from my interesting discoveries of my uncle's stash down there. "You shoot?"

He nodded. "I had one back in Middle-earth. It looked a little simpler than this." He poked at the sights sticking up from the limb. "And it's harder to pull back, too. I was surprised at how far the arrow flew with this one."

So some kind of longbow. Nah, probably a short bow. Anything else would be twice his height. "If you want to practice with it, you're free to do so. I wouldn't recommend using a tree as a target, though. Those arrows look like they'll snap in half if they hit anything harder than a bale of hay." Still lethal, if one managed to take down a full-grown buck. Or maybe the archer behind it was just that good. I couldn't imagine dwarves being proficient at archery, but then again, before this week, I couldn't imagine dwarves actually existing, so there's that.

His face shined brighter than the sun glaring off the snow, and significantly more beautiful. "I'll be careful, I promise. Thank you."

Glad to know it wasn't a universal dwarf thing to hold a grudge. As he wrapped his slim but strong arms around me, I dearly hoped his stoneheaded uncle was watching; he had a thing or two to learn from the youngsters. But, of course, the odds of that happening were minimal to begin with, and it became apparent that I was out of luck when he avoided me for the rest of the day. What irked me wasn't that I didn't know where he was (which Fili assured me he hadn't left, but it would've soothed my mind to have seen a sign of life somewhere), but that he felt like going with this childish solution was the best option. He had grey in his hair, and he was sulking like a five-year-old that didn't get his way. Had I truly offended him that badly? You would think with one as stalwartly proud as him, he'd have a little more self-esteem. When I inquired as to his whereabouts around noon, wondering if I should call him out for lunch, the boys assured me he wasn't hiding, just thinking. It was a regular thing for him to wander off to gather his thoughts. I trusted their calm response, but that didn't change the fact that he refused to talk me through how worrying for his safety equaled an insult. 

As I sat on the couch folding some towels with a sandwich balanced on one leg, Kili laying down next to the other, and Fili on the floor in front of him, the unmistakable thumping of Thorin's heavy steps on the wood interrupted the quiet, domestic moment we were having. I looked over my shoulder just as he leaned against the back of the couch, folding his arms over his chest. He looked at the floor instead of my face, but I could tell he was about to address me. "I want to go back to that cave."

My hands froze in midair, and my lips pursed in thought. Nope, certainly not the first thing I imagined him saying to me after this morning. "What cave?"

He had the audacity to look annoyed. "The one I mentioned yesterday."

"You did mention something about a cave, but you never said there was one. Just that you felt like there was."

"Well, I'd like to go see if it is actually there."

The towel crumpled as I dropped it into my lap. "That's about an hour hike through the snow for a hunch, Thorin. I was hoping to stay warm and dry today 'cause I have to go back to work tomorrow."

"You don't have to come with me. I only thought to mention it since I have to ask for your permission to breathe."

Oh, no, if you think you can use snark on me, you've got another thing coming, buddy. "So basically you want me to drive you there."

"If I am not allowed to walk myself."

I was almost tempted to say he could exercise his basic rights as a person as long as he promised not to cause trouble and actually come back. But my curiosity was piqued. "Why do you want to go back there?"

This time, he slid a hand down the side of his face, his eyes suddenly looking very tired. "I don't have to explain myself to you. Just tell me what your answer is."

Considering it's my gas money and my day off, I kinda figured he did. But he was fond of being mysterious so, in light of him losing practically everything, including his life, I decided to let him keep something to himself. "I'll go. Just let me put on some actual clothes." I set the laundry aside for the moment and pulled myself off the couch with an exaggerated groan and a wobble in my knees. While both the boys laughed, I earned nothing but a shake of the head from Thorin. But it was there, in the corners of his eyes: a smile. So, all just a show, huh? He was a convincing actor, I'll give him that.

The temperature had risen to just under freezing, and melting ice beneath the sun dripped off the trees. Great, that would refreeze again tonight. But for now, the road was nothing more than slushy snow, something my old clunker could handle easily. Thorin took the front seat, surprisingly accepting of riding in the truck (he didn't get much of a choice the last time he rode in it), while Fili and Kili stuffed themselves into the back. He kept his nose pointed toward the glass of his window, watching the scenery as we drove slowly through the countryside. Something was brewing inside; his fingers drummed rapidly over his thigh, the other hand fisted tightly on the door handle. Do I dare? "All is forgive from this morning?"

He perked back to life, glancing over to me with one eye. "You haven't apologized."

"I have to apologize for caring about you?"

The small upward twitch of his mouth didn't escape my notice. I barely managed to catch how his face softened before I had to focus back on the road. "That's not what I meant."

I humphed before looking into the rearview mirror. "Kili, you still mad about me yelling at you this morning?"

His brow furrowed. "I never was. You made a point, and I got it."

Take that, you uppity shrimp.

Thorin scoffed, but smiled anyway. "You are not my mother."

"I never tried to be."

"I do not go around looking to make trouble."

"Never said that either."

"I have taken care of my family for years, depending on no one and nothing but my own hand. I am perfectly capable of defending them and myself if need be."

"Just say what you want to say, Thorin."

"I have nothing to apologize for either. And I will not."

I lifted my hands off the steering wheel momentarily. Prickly git. "Fine. I never intended to make you. I can tell you'd sooner eat a cactus."

"Then all is forgiven."

Well, wasn't that simple enough. 

The more traveled parts of the roads were rutted from multiple tire tracks, so the going was a little faster as we neared Pisgah. Not long after most of the houses dwindled down to only a few, we found the pull-off we had stopped at on our first hunt for Thorin. Another pickup was just loading up with its sightseers when we drove in, so I took an especially long time to park as I waited for them to disappear down the road. Judging by the mirth-filled blue eyes in the mirror, I'd been caught red-handed. "Embarrassed to be seen with us, Holly?" Fili asked.

"Absolutely not. I'd love to take you guys to a café in town, but I think it's best fewer people see you. If Marty McFly taught me anything, it's that I don't want to have to make out with my mom." I'm pretty sure this situation is a little different, but I'm not above taking precautions. Especially if it's avoiding  _that._

With coats wrapped tight, we entered the trail head. To my greatest surprise, our footprints from the day before were still there. The dwarves' boots were unmistakable next to mine, and Kili brushed aside any doubts when he placed his foot in one that fit perfectly, grinning like the cute little idiot he is. He made a show of tracking our path, an unnecessary act as all the prints were fairly visible, but he was having a fun time with it so no one bothered to stop him. Fili decided to try to pester him in his moment of deep concentration, tossing snowballs at him until his dark hair was almost completely soaked. Kili retaliated, as he was want to do, but eventually the cold got to them and they settled for playing catch as they walked, occasionally fixing their ball when it started to break down. It was some good entertainment for an otherwise boring hike. I stole a glance at Thorin who stayed next to me the whole walk. He watched them as well with fondness softening his usually tight eyes. The barest hint of a grin flickered in the corner of his mouth. I could probably study his profile all day. Except I decided to ruin the moment for him. "You do actually have something to apologize for."

He slowly turned to look at me, eyes raised in the expression of a man who could not have been more done than in that moment. I just took amusement from it. "And what would that be?"

Puckering my lips in the smuggest way I could, I rolled up the sleeve on my right arm and pushed my glove down until my wrist was exposed. From where he had grabbed me this morning, finger-shaped bruises darkened the skin around the joint. Now, I'd never complain about a little bruising, as it's a very frequent occurrence in my job and I'm not whiny. But I wasn't the only one that yelled, and even if he had a more valid reason to do so, neither the yelling nor the grabbing was necessary. I tilted my head at him, waiting expectantly for the sarcastic quip I knew would come from me making a big deal out of this.

What caught me off guard, however, was the way his face fell upon seeing the bruises. The tense lines in his forehead melted away, and a genuine frown tugged his mouth down. He looked as if I'd just sold his most prized possession. Tentatively, he reached for my hand. The cool skin of my wrist tingled when his warm fingers brushed it in a feather-light caress. He held it between his hands like a glass vase. My face had to have been burning red, which I hoped would be masked by the flush from the chill in the air. What he did next nearly made me lose my mind. My breath hitched as he leaned down to place a small kiss to the offended skin. His beard rasped harshly, but his lips were warm. The hell, I thought with nothing more than bewilderment. And then there were no more thoughts, because my brain entirely shut down. He pulled away slowly, eyes flickering up to mine briefly before settling on my hand again. "I am sorry," he muttered with more sincerity than I had ever heard from him, thumb gently skimming the bruises one more time before letting go. Then he carried on after his nephews, as if he hadn't just ravished my hand like it was made of gold.

I just stood there, rooted like a tree, listening to the thrumming in my body. When was the last time I'd actually felt like this? Never. Never like _this_. The odd high school crushes I held under lock and key could not compare. This was...sacred. Unconventional. Absolutely out-of-this-world. And I couldn't let it go. I didn't want to. I wanted it again, and again, because this feeling was more addicting than caffeine. I looked to the retreating back of the one responsible for my lapse in sanity, the dark waves of his hair swaying as he trudged through the snow. I lied. I had one more thought: I'm screwed.

Lifting my legs high, I ran to catch up, nearly falling on my face, and then my butt, and then my face again. They sure can cover a lot of ground with those short legs. Fili and Kili had settled their game and walked calmly a few paces ahead of Thorin. Maybe if I kept my voice down... I grabbed his arm and tugged, slowing him until I could catch my breath a bit. "What...was that about?"

He glanced down at my hand wrapped around his elbow, then back up to my face with a pleasant but slightly troubled expression. "The women of my people are cherished. There are very few of them compared to other races, even the race of Men, and children are fewer still. To harm a woman in an unprovoked manner is one of the more serious offenses in our culture. No, words are not considered provocation, especially when they are opinions, so my handling of you in anger was disrespectful and disgraceful. I apologize for marking you."

That's...awesome. And completely unexpected. Another reason of many to add to my list of things I've come to respect about dwarves. But that didn't quite answer my whole question. I swallowed around my dry mouth and tried to keep my voice steady. "And the...kiss?" Nope, didn't work.

"The law applies to women in general, but it is most dishonorable when done to our kin or one we consider a friend. The kiss conveys a more intimate apology than a formal one, wishing the offended person a swift recovery from their injuries. We have had our differences, Holly, but I have come to relish in your kindness and hospitality. I consider you a friend, and I hope you will accept my apology and know that I will never touch you in the same nature again."

If nothing else, I'd do exactly that for the tormented look in his eyes. He truly felt the weight of his actions far more than I'd ever seen from anyone. And while the little butterflies in my stomach were left disappointed, I was entirely satisfied with this response. "Of course, Thorin. I really appreciate it. No hard feelings, I promise."

I think I made his day. His smile didn't hold the volume of the boys', but it had honest happiness behind it. It was one of the most gorgeous things I'd seen. "Thank you,  _mizim._ "

I almost stopped dead on the trail again. Where...where had I heard that word before? A part of that foreign language they kept referring back to every now and then, but none of them had ever said anything like that aloud. So why did it sound so familiar, and why did the way he said it leave me feeling warm and fuzzy?

"There it is!" Kili called from the front of the line, and after skirting around a patch of undergrowth, we found the creek. It flowed a little faster and heavier, intensified by the snow run-off. My ankle would've been submerged. Determined not to flood my boot, I got a running start and bounded over the water. I slammed into a tree on the other side when my foot slipped in the snow. I flipped the snickering dwarves the bird, fully aware they didn't know what it meant but positive my face would clue them in. They only laughed harder, the jolly twits. All three of them crossed without incident, and I just rolled my eyes. We trekked through the snow just a little more until we found the tree Thorin had taken a nap against, the indent of his body easy to make out.

"Now, your turn." I held out both arms to him. "Should we split up? All four of us could probably cover a ten-mile section each, if we keep on through the night. Think that's a wide-enough range?"

If I thought he was done before, now he looked absolutely dead inside. "I appreciate your enthusiasm about doing this. Remember, you had the choice to stay home."

"By your lead, captain."

With as much conviction as an army general indeed, he marched on northward, following where his footsteps had led back to the tree. I exchanged glances with the boys, who seemed a little taken back by his abrupt decision. We scrambled after him, ducking beneath branches. He plowed through the snow like a moose, his focus dead-set on his mission, and I wondered if he actually knew the location of this cave all along. He seemed perfectly confident that he had chosen the right direction, though that was how Thorin did pretty much everything. As we drew on, however, I noticed that a cliff rose high above the area we were in, the slope extremely steep and rocky. Thorin was going directly toward it. 

"I think we're going rock climbing," Kili murmured to me quietly, and I snorted. 

"If I had known that, I would've brought some gear. Show you dwarves how it's done."

"We're miners, lass," Fili said with a smirk. "We know all about climbing out of ravines."

And they just had to show me up on one more thing, didn't they? Is there anything at all these guys can't do?

Just as we came up on the wall, we broke through the trees. My mouth dropped open. Well, I'll be damned. There's actually a stupid cave not fifty paces from Thorin's resting spot. It wasn't terribly tall, but high and wide enough for the four of us to walk in abreast and without stooping. I looked over to the boys, grinning at their equally stunned expressions. Thorin, however, just looked perplexed, and not at all smug like I'd expected him to. His hands rested on his hips as he observed the entrance. 

"I'm flabbergasted," Kili commentated, looking from the cave to his uncle. "You actually found it. And the Shire was too difficult for you to master."

"Shut it," Thorin growled not unkindly, moving forward to inspect closer. "Didn't you see my prints?"

I had been too busy trying not to lose sight of his back. But, alas, a pair of impressions led all the way up to about five feet from the mouth of the cave. That was where they stopped, however. I scrunched my eyes, drawing nearer to it as Thorin did. That was...very odd. An embankment had formed around the hole in the wall, snow piled to my waist. It looked like a lot had been pushed back by a snowplow, but that was impossible. Maybe some had slipped off the cliff above, but in such a perfect semi-circle fashion? What on earth? "So you did come here."

He hummed in thought, stepping over the drift. "Strange that I did not remember actually being here. I suppose they found me in there, but how would I have made it all the way back?" He began to walk further into the cave, and an alarm pinged through my body.

"Wait."

He stopped immediately, turning with a patient inquiry.

"This doesn't feel right."

"I can see the back," he said, pointing inside. "Nothing has made this place its home."

That didn't seem to calm my accelerating heart, but I had nothing more to add. So I watched him pass into the shadow of the shelter. Despite his words, he was cautious, and I wondered if he could feel what I felt. Something was off about this cave, the eerie sensation creeping down my spine like bony fingers. The warmth at my back from Fili and Kili pushed away the chill, but I was as stiff as a brick wall. Then Thorin stopped just inside, looking around as if trying to find something he lost. His fingers flexed, twitching to grasp something. My breath caught when I saw his whole body tense. One hand reached up to settle on his chest, and he gasped for air. Oh, no. My legs sprang into action just as his knees buckled and he crumpled to the ground. "Thorin!" I ran into the cave, ready to dive down at his side and make sure he wasn't having a heart attack.

White light exploded across my vision, blinding as a lightning bolt. The same kind of electricity zapped through my body simultaneously, numbing it to everything: the cold, the rock beneath my boots. The breath rushed out of my lungs like a weight had pressed down on my chest, and I couldn't take in another. I gasped and struggled for air as sparks danced all around me, and a moment of that passed before I realized I didn't need to breathe. There was no use in it. Wherever I was sustained my body in a way that did not require filling my chest, and I slowly grew accustomed to the feeling of not inhaling or exhaling. I looked down, startling when I saw my feet were not on solid ground but suspended above nothing but thick fog. In fact, the fog surrounded me, swirling like puffs of pipe smoke.  _Pipe smoke, not cigarette smoke._ There was not a soul to be seen, the mist stretching on forever into nothing, and I was alone. Then, through a break, like in a cloud in the sky, I saw a man. He stood tall, his face hard and wise, black beard hanging over his bare chest all the way down to the waistline of his pants. His hair was pulled back into a low ponytail behind his powerful shoulders. That was how the rest of him could be described. He was built like a Greek statue, muscles the like of which you could only find from hard work rippling across his torso. In front of him sat an anvil, grey and sooty, and he held a hammer in his hand ready to strike down on it. A glow like a fire flickered at his left side, illuminating the sweat across his body. With a mighty heave, he struck down on the anvil, and a bright spark shot off of it. It flew through the air like a firefly, disappearing into the mist. As he was settling his grip on the handle once again, he finally looked up at me. As soon as his dark eyes caught mine, another white flash took me away.

This time, I felt solid ground beneath my feet. The air was cold again, though not as bitter as it had been standing out in the snow. It was refreshing. I breathed it in, smelling earth and rocks. I could breathe again. Soon, the fuzziness cleared from my head, and I heard people talking. It was a low murmur you'd find in a large crowd, some people calling out over it. They were advertising their wares: a market. I blinked, and the fog rose all at once. Around me were a large group of people, but not just anyone. Dwarves. Short, stout bodies in thick layers of vibrant, expensive-looking clothing. Their beards and hair were braided in intricate designs and full of shiny clips and beads. Wait, there were women among them! They had beards, too. I couldn't help but laugh, my hand immediately flying up to cover my mouth. Except, no one heard me. Even those who stood inches from my shoulder didn't acknowledge me in the slightest. I stepped out into the middle of the floor, looking beyond the dwarves and at our surroundings. "Wow," I sighed in wonder. Pillars of dark green stone rose several hundred feet above us. Endless staircases wound around them, embedded in the smooth walls. Symbols were etched into the rock all over the place, accompanied by angular designs like diamonds and squares. A few walls had reliefs carved out of them: warriors covered in heavy armor, smiths wielding hammers. It was some of the grandest architecture I had ever seen.

I felt compelled to take the stairs a few flights up, and I looked over the thin, insignificant railing to the people gathered down below. And then there was no railing. 

"Holy crap," I whispered, which still echoed far, far away. "This... is not safe." Come on, I've seen Fili and Kili, and they would surely snag their toe on the heel of the other foot and go toppling over. Someone's done it before. If not, I'd be the first. I hoped I was a ghost, or else  _that_ would hurt. I continued on, slowly climbing the stairs and instinctively avoiding anyone who was walking down. I didn't want to test whether or not I could walk through them.

When I reached the next level, I started to notice something different. Marring the beautiful carvings in the walls were gigantic claw marks. They tore through the stone like butter, taking off pieces of statues here and there. One was even missing his head. I felt offended. How could all that exquisite work be damaged so callously? And what on earth could have done it? Wait a minute. Fili and Kili mentioned something when talking with me the other night. An incredible underground city attacked and stolen by a dragon. Was this Erebor? Was I actually in the Lonely Mountain, in Middle-earth? But...what? Caught in my daze of questions, I let my feet drag me onward through the endless halls cut out of the inside of a mountain. Eventually, I came upon an archway leading into another room, above it dangling a large tapestry spun in a brilliant red. On the other side was a long,  _long_ walkway hovering over a deep chasm, with no railing. I sighed, conscious of placing one foot in front of the other extremely carefully. As I walked further, my eyes strayed around me. More statues emerged from within the walls, taller than even the ones in the other room. Dwarves in full armor holding their weapons in front of their chests. These guys really liked building huge versions of themselves. I could believe it, given the ego of the ones I'd met already. From somewhere beyond the rows of pillars all around me, natural light beamed in. So I wasn't below ground level anymore. What room could I be in? Then I looked at the end of the walkway.

At the center of the room, carved from a column rooted to the ceiling above like a tornado to a thundercloud, was a throne. Yes, there was no other word for it. A giant angular seat up on a pedestal, and it looked incredibly uncomfortable. Above it sat an oval carving in plates of gold, but there was nothing in it. There were a few dwarves gathered around it. As I drew only a few feet from the stairs, my eyes finally drifted down to the person sitting in the seat. A breath audibly rushed from my gaping mouth, and I felt struck as if backhanded. It was Thorin. He was draped in a dark cloak lined with thick fur, beneath it the leather jacket and mail he had been wearing since he arrived to my house. And atop his head, settled like a glove on the correct hand over his black-and-silver mane, was a crown. 

No. No, it couldn't be.  _He_ couldn't be.

But, he could.

It made so much sense. All the effort he put into returning to his stolen home. Leading a group of loyal volunteers in a long journey across a wild land. Willing to die to keep that home in the correct hands. The former king, Thror, had died. The heir had returned to take his place.

In a flash, everything was gone once more. I lost the air in my lungs again, and sparks flashed around me in blinding strikes. I closed my eyes, trying to drown out the sickness that was clawing at my stomach. Then everything settled again, and I gasped. My body flew up into a sitting position from where I had been lying down, and I clutched at my dry throat. Everything around me was clear: the forest outside the cave covered in a thick blanket of snow. The wet accumulation soaked into the back of my jacket, making me shiver. I looked up when my name was called. Fili and Kili knelt beside me on one side, Fili's hands settled on my shoulder. "Are you all right, Holly? What happened?"

I coughed, working my tongue around so I could speak. A heavy fatigue washed over me, and my head pounded. "I'm f..." Still fighting for air, I looked over to my other side, realizing another pair of worried eyes watched me. Thorin sat on the ground next to me, pale and weak as I must have been. He also had a hand on my arm. But I paid no attention to any of that. All I saw as I stared up at his face was that crown.

"Who are you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what in tarnation is going on here? Magic caves and underground cities. Holly's not taking any half answers from these guys anymore. 
> 
> Thanks to all my lovely commenters and kudos. I love hearing from every single one of you. <3


	6. Confessions

Once the four of us managed to hike back to the truck, I had recovered enough of my inhibitions to drive home. My head swam every so often, so I putted along as slow as I could. By the time I had climbed the mountain again, I was completely exhausted. My vision pulsed with each thump against my skull, and I vaguely remembered a few hands holding onto me as we entered the house. Overtaken by the blessed heat filling the room, I laid down on the couch and drifted away. My sleep was restful, but dreamless. I was disappointed. A thought came to me that I might be able to return to Erebor in my dreams. Explore more, see more people, see Thorin.  _The king._ But why did I want to be there so badly? But I didn't go, and I woke to the crackling of the fire and a familiar weight across my legs. I lifted my head from the pillow and looked down my blanketed body to Houch pressed up against me, dark eyes watching my face. I smiled at him, wanting to reach down and pet him, but my arms were so heavy. Even holding my head up didn't last very long. I looked around the rest of the room. It was completely dark outside, the walls and floor glowing with firelight. On the sofa sat Fili and Kili, the younger brother's head resting on the other's shoulder as he dozed. Fili stared into the fire with a distressed look, an arm around Kili and the other drumming a specific rhythm. Their habits were so alike. Amazing. I turned my head the other way, looking to the side of the room opposite the sofa. And there he was.

Thorin sat on the edge of the recliner, hands folded between his spread knees. He also scowled into the fire, though his tired eyes didn't reflect the heat. I guess I have an explanation as to how he could make any chair look like a throne. How did I miss it? It's been staring me in the face since he got here. The arrogance, doing things his own way. If there was one word I could use to describe the manner in which he did pretty much everything, it would be regal. And everything I said to him, thought about him. Oh, God.

Houch shifted a little, letting out a whine. That immediately drew Thorin's attention, and I locked eyes with him. He stood abruptly, moving to crouch next to my resting spot. "How do you feel?"

I tried to smile, just to alleviate the worry in Fili's and Kili's faces as they stood near my feet, but I'm sure it lacked any persuasion. "Like I almost drowned." My brain still protested whatever happened to me, and I understood why Thorin chose to hide away in sleep all day yesterday. I'm sure daylight would be chasing me under my blanket, but the cold had no problem doing that. I was  _frigid._ I burrowed deeper, clenching my jaw against the sudden chattering. Before I knew what was happening, two more blankets joined the first, and I could feel the shivers leaving me. When I glanced back toward the left, Thorin still watched me, waiting patiently. I decided not to let the elephant in the room linger any longer, mostly because I was about to explode. "You going to answer my question?"

He raised an eyebrow. 

"What I asked you, in the forest." I scooted a little farther up the pillow so I could look him plainly in the eye. "Who are you?"

He glanced down toward his feet, contemplating. Keeping silent better not be one of his options. "Are you sure you don't wish to rest a little longer?"

"So you can come up with a lie? Thorin, I saw something, and if I don't get it cleared up immediately, I'm going to lose my mind."

His right eye twitched, and he looked absolutely miserable, but he nodded anyway. One glance sent the boys back to the sofa, and he lowered to sit with his arm resting on the couch cushion. "What did you see?"

"Erebor." His head jerked up in surprise, eyes narrowed. Son of a... "I don't know that for certain, but based on your descriptions of it, I'd say it's a pretty good guess. Large, echoy halls with statues cut in half by giant claw marks."

Fili snorted. "Sounds about right."

"But the place was clean, repaired up to a certain point. Inhabited. There were dwarves there, peacefully going about their daily business. And there you were. On a throne, with a crown, and a gathering of people in front of you. What did I see, Thorin?"

The skin between his eyebrows creased, and he stared at the floor with narrowed eyes. I didn't quite understand why this was something he had to think about. It's a simple question that required a simple answer. But I waited, impatient as I could possibly be while confined to the couch. He finally said, "I don't know."

You don't know.  _You_ don't  _know._ You don't know who you are, or you don't know how much you want to tell me (I thought we were passed this)? "Thorin, please," I begged, just tired and in pain and so very confused. "Just tell me."

He nodded, the index finger of the hand resting on the cushion absently touching mine. "Yes, Holly, I am a king. But I was never the king of a prosperous, thriving Erebor. So no, I don't know what it was that you saw because it didn't happen and it never will."

My head felt light again, entirely unrelated to the ache and the drowsiness and the lack of breath. Oh, fiddlesticks. "You never told me."

"It wasn't something you needed to know," he replied with a pointed glare. "It wouldn't have made any difference, would it?"

No. All the same, I would've been willing to help them get home. But, still... I turned to Fili and Kili, who mimicked each other's positions on the couch, the exact way Thorin had been sitting earlier. "So that means you two are..."

They nodded. Fili answered. "Princes, yeah."

"My heirs," Thorin continued, a tinge of pride in his voice that made the brothers duck their heads to hide their grins.

Heirs? But, they're his nephews. I looked back to Thorin, studying his profile for the umpteenth time.  _That_ man, who also just happened to be a king, had no children? No wife? Wasn't one of the first obligations of the king to produce the next heir to the throne? And  _no one_ had volunteered? Unbelievable. Apparently my blown mind made an impression on my face because he grinned at me and said, "I did not find the one. Then they were born, and I didn't have time to keep looking." I suppose trying to take care of a group of people exiled from their home in such a violent way didn't leave one much chance for hobbies, let alone romance.

With my head a little clearer and the chill leaving my body, I sat up to fold my legs beneath me. Thorin rose, and when I realized he was about to sit next to me, my stomach flipped. However, right before he could, my fifty-pound lapdog decided to cuddle against me instead, laying a possessive paw over my thigh. I would like to frame the look of a dwarf king who was just upstaged by a dog, and the one he had afterward when I laughed at his first one. He sat down on the other side of Houch, laying a palm on the dog's head. All three of them waited for my answer, but I'd have to disappoint them. "I don't know where to start."

"This won't change anything," Kili quickly assured me. "Please, don't let it. Just pretend you didn't hear any of this and we can continue on the same way we were before. Friends. Nothing formal."

"Kili," Thorin rumbled warningly, and the boy snapped his lips shut firmly.

It's not like I had any intention of bowing before them and kissing their boots. It would be hard to push aside the laidback boys and their irritable uncle that had been living with me for the past few days. But this did change things. "Now we really have to get you guys back."

Thorin tilted his head. "Why do you say that?"

"I saw you on the throne, Thorin. You had that scar on your face, the one you got from your last battle, I assume? Maybe...maybe you didn't actually die. Just sent here at the moments before you entered your afterlife. What I saw could have been a look at what will be, if we manage to find a way to get you all home."

His face had hardened. He was steeling himself against anything I was saying. Against the hope I presented. Why was it so hard to believe the potential behind this idea after everything he'd seen so far? He leaned his head back a little. "Did you see them?"

I glanced over at the brothers' intrigued, optimistic faces. "No, but that doesn't mean they weren't somewhere else in the mountain. People were walking all over the place. They could have been anywhere."

"I don't know anything about your past, Holly," he started with a growl, "but I'm going to assume you've never felt what it was like to _die_. To feel an ice-cold blade slip into your skin and cut through everything inside. To feel the blood drip uncontrollably from your body and pool in the snow beneath you. To see the despair in a loved one's eyes as they watch you fade away. That is no illusion, and neither was taking my last breath. It did happen, and instead of being taken to the place where we could finally rest, we were brought here to be spurred on by false hope of returning to our lives. I said it before, and I will say it again. There is  _nothing_ for us to return to."

My grip on Houch's collar grew tighter and tighter as the words spat out of his mouth. As much as I wanted to throw my fist into his face, even if it broke my hand, I knew there was little I could do to convince him to see it my way. So I just nodded. I was a little disturbed by how monotone my voice came out. "Okay, so now what?"

"That cave is our key," he replied, looking from me to the other two. "I saw him. For the briefest moment, but he was there." 

Fili and Kili shared a look. They seemed to know exactly who he was talking about.

Thorin continued. "We need to go back to that cave and try to seek out some answers within it. Wherever it takes us, there should be clues to point us in the right direction if we can just take control of ourselves inside."

"I don't know," Fili mumbled, the least confident I had ever heard him. He glanced between the both of us with worry tugging his lips down. "How many times can you enter...wherever it was you were, before it starts to take a toll on you? It steals your consciousness, then physically throws you out of the cave like an explosion."

"It must've been what happened to you the first time you left," I suggested, looking to Thorin at the other end of the couch. "It took you out when you hid from the poachers, and you probably hit your head when it threw you, causing you to lose your memory."

He nodded. "Most likely. But we have little choice but to throw caution to the side. This is the only lead we have gained so far, and it is most certainly not something we can brush off. I almost reached Mahal through that cave, and I think if we find our way through the fog, we can get to Aule's Halls." 

The brothers nodded their agreement. Kili slapped his hand on his knees. "Well, I suppose we should plan on taking another trip soon." Then his dark eyes found me, swirling with sorrow. I felt it, too. If we had truly discovered how to get them home, our time together was coming to an end. I paused to take a deep breath when I sensed it starting to come sporadically. No, I knew this was how this would end. This was what we had been working toward all this time. And yet, the very idea of being alone in this house, knowing I would never see these three ever again... The room suddenly felt much too big, and I would surely be swallowed up in it. This was for the best. They didn't belong here, and they had to go back to where they should be. 

As Fili and Kili slipped off the couch to return to their bedroom for the night, Houch enthusiastically following after them, I remained in my seat, watching a glowing coal in the fireplace. I pointedly avoided the accompanying figure in the room, who had stayed put on his side of the couch. After a moment of silence, he slid across the leather cushions until his left knee bumped my right. I drew my leg in as close as I could, pulling the blanket up tighter on me. I wished for my bed. Anywhere but here right now where my emotions warred within my head, begging me to see reason but to also put it aside for greener pastures. I didn't have long to decide what to do, however, as that smooth voice poured over me like honey. "I'm sorry for what I said. It was uncalled for. I do not have control over my anger at most times." I just let the words hang. I didn't have the strength to do anything with them. I was so dizzy from this tennis match of ours, and I wanted the net to finally get in the way. Whether the net gave me a point or took away my opportunity to win one.

A warm hand picked up my own, rough fingers sending shivers up my arm. Then I felt it. The familiar pressure of lips with a tickle of hair brushing over my knuckles, and I whipped my head over. He held my fingers against his mouth for an extended moment, eyes watching me over it with such intensity. When he pulled away, he didn't let go. "I have expressed many times now how much I appreciate your willingness to help. It is more than this bitter old dwarf deserves. I know you do it for them, and I ask that my rudeness not dissuade you from giving them an aspiration for something at the end of all this. They are tainted enough as it is because of me."

I scoffed. "Who says I'm doing it just for them?" While those two knuckleheads were absolutely worth it all on their own.

A small grin flickered. "I'm sure you have much motivation to get us out of your hair."

I tossed my free hand in the air, because this dense dwarf just did not let anything past his thick skull. "For a king, you're not very bright." I took hold of his hand and yanked it over to my lap. I traced the veins rippling across the bones, taking in every scar and burn that marred his hot skin. "You, you idiot. I'm doing it for you."

He watched my fingers, eyes narrowed. "And why ever would you want to do that?"

"Because you are the king your people deserve." I looked back up at him, and his crisp blues caught my hazel. He watched neutrally. "Yes, you're stubborn, and mouthy, and pessimistic. But you're brave, and selfless, and you've inspired your nephews to continue to look up to you even after all the misdeeds you've supposedly performed. There are two sides to a coin, and one tarnished side doesn't diminish the quality of the entire coin. It just makes the other side shine out even brighter. I try to look at the shiny side of people, and yours is really handsome and captivating." Flap, flap, flap. Just keep flappin', mouth. You'll find that ditch eventually, and it'll be a deep one.

His lips parted to say something, but he didn't need to. His eyes spoke the question plainly enough. "Holly."

"I never said that. Just pretend you didn't hear it." I tossed his hand back to him and whipped the blanket off my lap to stand. The drum beats pounded furiously behind my forehead, smothering my vision for a moment. But I was desperate to get to the kitchen and out of this blasted room, so I powered on.

"Did you mean it?"

I suppose you could consider it a lapse in my heartfelt rant beforehand, but I think my conviction behind the words is plenty condemnation. "I don't know what you're talking about, Thorin, because  _I didn't say anything._ "

"Oh, no, you don't get to do that." Before I could reach for a cup to fill with water for the desert in my mouth, a meaty hand grabbed my arm and pulled. This wasn't to the extent of what he had done this morning (and it was the other hand), but the grip was still firm. I spun around to face his wide eyes, realizing what it was that made me sputter out what I said. God, they were beautiful. "You don't get to be angry about my keeping secrets from you, then turn around and not answer a simple question."

When are these things ever simple? I shook my head, easily taking my hand back and going for that cup. "I'm perfectly aware of how horrible of an idea it is. It's positively stupid, in fact, and I had no business saying it or even thinking it. So, yeah, it was true, but it doesn't have to mean anything." What a miserable human being I've become. I thought I was stronger than this, letting myself get carried away by the first man that comes along in ages (technically, he was the third). Oh, and I'm sure he's old enough to be my dad. As if I wasn't already feeling awkward about this. And then there's the whole king thing! Can anyone say gold digger?

As my thoughts continued to run wild, I was slow in noticing the palms on both sides of my face, or the mesmerizing pools of water staring back at me. Then they were closed, and his lips were on mine, and time paused for a long, drawn-out moment. There were no sparks, no weakness in my knees, but the softness and patience in this touch left my heart racing and my lungs breathless. There was experience behind it, a maturity which I had never felt with anyone else I'd ever kissed. I wondered briefly what on God's green earth he was thinking right now. Then I didn't care, and I let his presence wash over me. My nose tickled from the pine scent mixed with smoke from the fireplace coming off his skin. Before I could recover enough to respond, he pulled away, his warm hands sliding down to my neck. In that quiet second, I became acutely aware of everything. The cool brush of his leather jacket through my shirt, his long hair trailing around to rest in front of his shoulder. I couldn't take it all in fast enough. "Another apology ritual?"

A short laugh huffed from his mouth, which drew back to reveal white teeth. A hand fell down to settle chastely on my hip. "If you want to consider it that way. It was meant to convey something else."

Reality decided to crash down on me, just when I was experiencing the most brilliant thing in my life. "We shouldn't." When his face fell, I panicked. "I want to. I've...never wanted anything more. But we just discovered how to send you away." 

The hand on my cheek slid down to cup my shoulder. "We have discovered nothing. We have speculated and 'brainstormed,' I believe is the word you used. Nothing is entirely set in stone. We may very well realize we will never be able to pass on from this world."

I tried to bring back the anger I felt at his cynicism a short time ago. There was nothing except the pain I knew would come if he was proven wrong. "Is that what you want?"

He scolded me from beneath his lashes. "I know what I want at this moment. The rest is free to come whenever it may."

It was not so easy for me. But maybe he had a point. What was better: living in regret or having something nice to look back on? These past few days would remain as some of my best memories for the rest of my life.

"What do _you_ want, Holly?"

I gnawed on my lip, thinking that if I was going to plunge into the deep end, I might as well go head first. "I quite liked what we were doing before."

He smirked, fingers dragging through my hair. Then I was flying again, pressing as close to his chest as I could as our lips danced together. I weaved my arms behind his neck, gripping a fistful of that impressive mane and tugging a little. He groaned, a deep resonate rumble vibrating through my chest, and I almost shook apart from it. Then his hand on my waist curved around to my lower back, and my knees finally quivered a little. Wow, this man. I pulled back immediately, fighting for the breath I'd lost. "Why? Why me?" 

I'm sure his dazed expression matched my own, but he answered confidently. "Why not you? If not for you, we would have been cast into a blizzard with nothing but the clothes on our backs. You've supported us and provided for us when you barely had enough to keep yourself. You never asked for anything in return."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm about as low on society's food chain as you can go."

"I have been there as well. I was a blacksmith, selling swords and weapons for half their worth just so my family did not starve. No one knew where I came from, who I was, and they never cared anyway. It is not a solid base to form an opinion about someone. I hope you don't see your vision every time you look at me."

It was difficult for me to comprehend why anyone who held the title of ruler of a great nation would want to be known differently. But then I saw it. Of course. All throughout history, kings have let their power go to their heads, bringing down destruction on their kingdom. If only for a short while, Thorin was the king of Erebor, and according to Fili and Kili, it made him into somebody he hadn't been before. He didn't want to be remembered that way. The blacksmith led a troop of dwarves to defeat a dragon. The blacksmith was the one his young nephews looked up to. And it was the blacksmith who died so his people could prosper. "I think I'll turn your speech about rank right back at you."

He chuckled, nodding once. "Thank you." Giving me a quick peck to the lips that had my toes curling, he wandered back to the living room as I finally filled the cup that had sat empty on the counter for the past five minutes. When I followed, he was laying out a few blankets on the couch, and I remembered our arrangement. "Why don't you take my bed upstairs? I know it's not exactly that comfortable down here."

He shook his head. "I would not steal your bed from you. I will be just fine."

"How are you doing? I know you got hit with the same thing I did." He's been battered around pretty heavily.

"It is not as crippling, and I did not hit my head this time. You should get as much rest as you can after your own day."

While my head still throbbed, I wasn't tired. My blood was running too hot from everything I had learned tonight. And other things. I craved a cup of coffee, but that definitely wouldn't help things. So when he sat back down on the couch in just his shirt and pants, I leapt the chasm and settled down next to him. The peaceful room, the crackling fire, and the warmth of his body all worked to calm my nerves and my worries, and hopefully would eventually send me to sleep. This was nice. I could get used to it. I laid my head on his shoulder, absently playing with his fingers. They languidly touched me back. "What did you see in the cave, besides your maker?"

"Nothing. There was fog, and light. I thought I had found the way. Then I heard a voice, and I knew it could only belong to Mahal. He had come to take me to his halls, I knew it. But then I realized that I would be going without Fili and Kili, and I begged the voice to send me back so I could bring them with me. So I could...say goodbye to you properly. Then he was unveiled from the fog for a moment only, and I was thrust back out of the cave. Fili and Kili tried to drag you out and wake you up, but I feared what would happen if you did not wake up on your own, so I made them wait."

I bit my lip, turning my nose into him. It was suddenly hard to breathe again. He would have given up the chance to find peace at last so he could say goodbye to me. I wouldn't have, nor would I ever, count myself worth doing that. I let myself be selfish and thanked God, or Mahal, or whoever, that he did return. If only for a short while longer. I swallowed and pushed back the melancholy. "Do you really think that's how to get to where you need to go?"

He ducked his head. "When I saw Mahal, he seemed so far away. And the voice did not sound beckoning. I did not feel called upon."

"I saw it, too. The fog, and I think I saw him. There was a blacksmith at an anvil with a large hammer."

He nodded immediately, staring at me in bewilderment. "Yes, that was him. If you were there, it is possible that it was not the gates to his halls I stood outside of like I thought. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. I will not say for certain that it is what we have been looking for, but it is more than we have found so far."

I gripped his hand a little tighter. "I don't want to talk about you leaving anymore."

He bent down to brush his long nose over mine, kissing my forehead then laying his head right over it. "All right, then. What else do you wish to talk of?" 

Drowsiness had begun to seep into my limbs and my eyes, but I didn't want to leave. I couldn't ruin this perfect moment. There was a quiet pause as I searched my brain furiously. Then a thought struck me. "Was what you said about that kiss on my wrist true?"

The corner of his lips slithered up slowly, and he refused to look me in the eye. "The punishment for hurting a woman is just as I said it was."

What he had done didn't sound quite like a punishment, though. "But..."

"No,  _mizim._ It was nothing more than an excuse to kiss you."

I reached over and flicked his arm with my finger, eliciting a pleasing laugh from him. Preposterously clever dwarf.

*****************************************

My dreams came full-force once again that night. The snowstorm continued to swirl around the evergreen trees, though not as frighteningly as before. What lay behind the cluster of pines that I had nearly discovered the night before now stood in front of me, familiar but adding intimidation back to the atmosphere. It was the cave. While the woods were not the exact ones we traveled in my waking hours, this was the exact same cave, right down to the pile of boulders sitting just to the side of the entrance. It was dark inside, not a single shape visible past two feet through the threshold. I wanted to go in, and that overwhelming desire had little to do with escaping the cold. However, my hand still remained in a tight, comforting grip, and I turned to see Thorin at my side, regal furred cape winding around his legs in the wind. It was the same as the one I had seen him wrapped in as he sat on the throne of Erebor. He was the king. "Shall we,  _mizim_?"

I stowed away the thought to inquire about that word I'd heard him say (or purr) multiple times already and nodded. I allowed him to gently pull me through the thick snow toward the cave. He peered inside as we drew closer, instinctually making sure nothing lived in it, then proceeded when he found nothing. How he would have seen anything at all, I also added to my growing list of questions for real-world Thorin. My body braced involuntarily as we broke out of the snow and walked beneath the overhang just outside the hole. We would surely find that foggy void again, and I definitely wasn't prepared to be reacquainted with what it felt like to not breathe. I closed my eyes and gripped his hand as we walked through, hoping I would anchor myself to him against the impending onslaught.

Nothing. Nothing at all. Just the stillness of the air after escaping the furious wind. I opened my eyes and found I was staring at the back of the cave. It was shallow, just like the one in Pisgah, but there was certainly enough room for two people to stand in it comfortably. I faced Thorin again, scrunching my brow when I found him staring at me with a wide grin. "What?"

He chuckled. "I find it amusing that you still expect to be whisked away every time you come in here."

Well, it's kinda difficult to toss that feeling aside just like that. But I curiously felt silly for reacting that way. "Just in case."

"I do not believe we will be heading back there again. My fate has been sealed." A strange pang struck my heart at those words, and I didn't understand why I was feeling it. I suppose the downshift of his expression might have had a part in it. "Do you wish to return?"

"No," I blurted out without thinking, not knowing where it was I didn't want to go to but knowing I couldn't bear the thought of ever leaving. "I'm happy where I am."

His smile returned, blazing in the dark. "I'm glad." He pulled me closer to him by my waist, wrapping his cloak around me. My hands skimmed up the front of his buckled vest, placing the chilled skin on his hot neck. He didn't even flinch. "When will you learn to wear appropriate clothing for the weather?"

"I've always dressed inadequately for the snow, ever since I was a kid. Maybe I like the excuse to curl up against something warm." I pressed against him as much as I could, buried in our fur collars.

He grinned, pecking my pink-tinged nose. "You need no excuse to do so. Why would you ever wait for one anyway?"

I shrugged, feeling like I was soaring above the clouds at the fact that he _knew_ me. "I do take what I want, don't I? So I think I'll take a kiss now."

He obliged with a scorching press of his lips to my own.

************************** 

While talking at length once again was too much for my mushed brain to handle late at night, I absolutely craved it the next day. Thorin was a complete dream to have a conversation with, once you got him to actually have a conversation. He seemed eager to talk to me, which had the little teenage girl inside me giggling like an idiot. And I'll say without a doubt that it wasn't entirely so I could keep listening to his voice. But...oh, there wasn't another one quite like it. Like thunder in the distance on a hot summer afternoon. Mercy, Your Majesty!

I had to work early in the morning, back to mucking out stalls and tossing grain at overeager, oversized animals. Mr. Harper wanted to open up trail rides again once the snow melted. I doubted there would be anyone to sign up until spring, as we rarely got large crowds anyway considering our remote location, but I told him I'd be there to guide if he needed me to. It required me dressing up in chaps, Wranglers, and a wide-brimmed cowboy hat, but I enjoyed showing off the gorgeous countryside to vacationers. I finished as early as I could and drove home to the boys for lunch. Mrs. Harper was a little confused at my bump in routine, and the fact that I paid for and loaded up three bales of hay into the back of my truck, but she didn't say anything and bid me goodbye until I came back that afternoon for evening feed. I crawled back up my mountain road in the slush, wondering how much more strain my heart could take before it leapt out of my throat.

Kili went into a frenzy of excitement when I showed my makeshift target practice set-up. I'd stacked the bales one on top of the other, spray-painting a wide red circle on it, a white one inside that, and another red dot in the middle. It was crude as all get-out, but I proudly showed him my work and laughed at his barrage of thank-you's. After a quick bite to eat, he strapped on the quiver and tested out the bow. He seemed a little frustrated when he couldn't quite get the red dot while familiarizing himself with the mechanics of the bow, but Fili stood by and encouraged him. He finally started striking inside the circle, calling out joyfully when he got it dead-center. I just watched completely mesmerized by this boy. What an incredible talent he had. I'm sure he was a valuable asset to his uncle in their life. Then Fili asked me if he could borrow some of the knives from my kitchen, and I sat collecting flies at my perch on small trailer under my deck as he tossed them into the red dot with hardly a flick of his wrist. They stuck perfectly in the center of the bale, scraping together as they landed right in each other's space. Kili shot an arrow between two of them, sticking right in the middle barely a centimeter wide, and I felt entirely useless and deficient with all I had not done with my life.

Thorin's chuckle woke me up from my daze, and a tingle zapped down my spine at the memory of how my mind had interpreted it last night. Just as breathtaking. He sat down beside me, snapping his fingers in front of my eyes. I swatted at them, wanting to see what pattern Fili would make with his knives this time. "Who taught them that? I want to know, and I want that person to teach me now."

He smirked, watching his nephews with pride. "Fili took to blades as every dwarf does, and he excelled under the instruction of my closest friend and distant cousin, Dwalin. He pushed him alongside his swordsmanship to continue practicing with knives, something I've never been any more than intermediate with. The result was extraordinary. Kili does just as well as his brother with a sword, but where he picked up the bow, I can't remember. It is not a typical weapon of dwarves, but I could not let such skill go to waste. As I had also taken to shooting in order to hunt while in exile, I worked with him to hone his skills. Now he exceeds me. I am...very lucky to have them."

A fine pair of princes, I'd say. Thorin definitely holds bragging rights. "I'm sure you and their father flaunted them like peacocks every chance you could."

The grin in his beard drifted away on the breeze, and I realized too late what I'd said. "Oh, I'm sorry."

He looked over to me with a pleasant expression, squeezing my knee. "It is fine. The wound has healed as well as it could." He scooted closer to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. "Their father died when they were very young," he explained, eyes locked onto them. "Much too young to take up weapons training. Their mother, my younger sister, was left alone with them." He paused when I intertwined my fingers with those of his hand on my side, my attempt at some sort of comfort for a talk I knew would be difficult in more ways than one. He smiled and pecked my cheek. "Dis is usually so proud and independent. Stern, if you ask them, but then that would make me a tyrant."

I had to laugh at that. Tyrant, no. Iron-fisted sounded more like it.

"She was always the picture of a dwarf princess. But then she came to me one night, not long after her husband's death. She was so broken, I was afraid she would crumble to pieces in my hands. Overcome by grief not just for Vili, but for our grandfather and brother who we lost in that battle as well. That same girl who dared to point her finger in my face and scream at me when no one else would now begged me to help her. She could not handle two young boys on her own. She cried for so long, weeping into my chest as she would when she was little. I handed off many of my duties to my advisors, and I moved in with her."

I tried to picture a dwarf woman who looked exactly like Thorin. Same hair, same nose, same stern set of her brow. I couldn't imagine what an impact losing her husband had left on her. So much that she would be driven to find help. And she continued on raising them, I presumed, taking her strength from them each day. Certainly a woman I would admire and aspire to be like. Then I thought of Thorin's role in all this, and while I wanted to ask about the rest of his family that he'd mentioned, I stuck to something else. "So you were around during their childhood a little more than I expected."

He nodded stiffly, the muscle in his jaw jumping. The thoughts were tangled on his head, and I waited patiently for him to continue. "I never imagined becoming a father," he finally said, voice low and husky with emotion. "There was little need for it after Fili was born. I was pledged to my people. But there I was, raising two boys as close to being sons as they could get without coming from my own flesh. No battle with orcs or otherwise could come close to how terrifying that was. To be responsible for their lives and their futures. I feared so badly that I would mess up."

I had to laugh, because the two boys in front of me enjoying their time together with the crafts (and sending surreptitious smirks our way every now and then) were most definitely the spawn of Satan. "You couldn't have done better with them. They are fine young men who fought and died for their people just as you did. They are brave, well-mannered, and more responsible for themselves than anyone else I know their age. You have every right to be proud of them and yourself for who they have become."

His tense body deflated like a balloon, and a light smile returned to his face. His eyes flickered dazzlingly. "Thank you, Holly. That means a great deal coming from you."

We sat for a little while longer, watching them skewer the hay bales until sprigs sprinkled onto the snow. I committed every piece of this moment to memory, to look back on during a rainy day, and I have never fought tears so hard in my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There ya go. I said I would have this done on Sunday. It's 1:00 Monday morning, so I'd say it's close enough. XD Anyway, you've got your feels fix for a while? A lot went on in this chapter, but then again, I didn't intend on making this story very long to begin with.
> 
> So I'm starting classes again this week, my final semester before graduating and moving onto a new school to get my bachelors. So I'm going to be focusing a lot on my studies. Writing is my outlet for stress that accumulates due to homework and tests and such, so I'll definitely still be doing a lot of it, but I just wanted to let you know in case updates slow. I don't intend for them to, but you never know. Thanks for all the love and support for this story. It's super fun and I'm so excited to see all the people who enjoy it, too. <3


	7. There and Back Again

If I led a sedentary lifestyle, I'm fairly certain I would be dead by now just by how much walking I've done in the past three days alone. Hiking in snow never appealed to me, but it seems I should probably accept the fact that it will become a daily routine from now into the unforeseeable future. So here I was, taking a slow drive to Pisgah once again, lugging three dwarves with me. At least the accumulation was finally melting off the road a little. Even that wasn't enough to spear off the bit of melancholy settling like a heavy weight in my mind. I tried desperately not to let my passengers see it.

Throughout the day, they consistently attempted to brush off the truth about where we were heading to, cutting jokes specifically to me to lighten the mood (which reminded me I was an open book), but it didn't help much. I truly wanted to feel happy about where we were going, but it was impossible. This was it.

I quietly listened to the conversation going on in the back seat, completely lost about what the subject was. I hadn't heard the first part, too caught up in the giddy sparks shooting up my spine when a large finger curled around my pinkie where it sat on the inner console.

"I don't think it really matters anymore." Fili's arms were crossed, but despite his adamant tone of voice, he stared at the back of my seat with a calculating glare.

"Of course it does!" Kili argued. "We've already established that we're alive, just in another world. That means we are still aging. I can't believe I missed it."

"Missed what?" I finally asked, devoid of any brain power left to try to figure this out. My mind had been through enough already.

"My name day!" the younger exclaimed, dropping his hands into his lap with the cutest pout I'd ever seen. It almost topped Fili's deep concentration tongue. "You said it was January, right?"

"Yep."

"I was born in December. How could we have missed it?"

"Name day?" I inquired quietly to Thorin.

"Dwarves put more emphasis on the day their outer names are announced to close family and kin. It usually takes place three days after the actual birth."

"And, what's an outer name?" I believe I've turned Thorin into the dwarf equivalent of Google. And I don't know how much he appreciates it. I didn't miss how he hesitated for a moment after that question, jaw clenching in the manner that indicated a serious mental war. That made me a little guilty. After openly sharing with me some of his deepest, most personal thoughts about his family yesterday, if he was reluctant to give up this, I couldn't imagine what kind of social boundary I just crossed. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him glance down toward our twined hands, his finger clenching mine just a little harder.

After a moment's pause, which I almost broke in a hurried apology, he sighed and grinned at me. "Outer names are the ones we are known to others by. Other races, mostly, but if we are in confidential company, there is little need for it."

"So you have inner names?" I deduced, brow pinching together. "Why would you need two names?"

"Inner names are our real names. They come from the language of the dwarves, which is not commonly taught to others. Everything we are is summed up by that name alone, and we tell no one but close kin and those we have put unconditional trust in."

"So your _actual_ name isn't Thorin?"

"Correct."

I felt his hand tense. He expected me to ask. And he didn't want to tell me. As if I would expect him to. He's known me all of a week; I can't entirely comprehend how that was a rational amount of time for him to confess feelings for me, nor I for him, and it certainly wasn't enough time to trust me with something so important. I wasn't offended. I would question his decision-making skills as king if he did something so rash over an insignificant peasant like me. Maybe being king-in-exile opened him up to life's basest pleasures, and how a moment couldn't be wasted in logic. Now that did chafe me the wrong way. I really hoped I wasn't a base pleasure. "How did you miss your name day, Kili?" I turned the conversation back onto course, looking into the mirror. "Didn't you celebrate it before you died?"

"It was November when we died. So, no."

"How on earth did you jump a month?" Like I was in any position to question how crossing worlds worked.

"At least I might be able to celebrate mine," Fili replied with a smug grin toward his brother.

"Yours is in March! How long do you expect to be here?"

"I said might. I wonder if name days are recognized in the Halls."

"I doubt it. What would be the point? We're all dead."

"So close to a hundred. If only we'd waited to do that quest another two decades or so." 

I choked on absolutely nothing, ripping my hand from Thorin's to get a better grip on the steering wheel. "You're how old now?"

Fili smiled at me, but it wasn't the cute boyish grin I had come to love from him. Oh, no, it was a smirk of pure evil, because he knew something was coming that would cause me to flip out, and probably flip my truck. "Eighty-two."

I gulped and adjusted so I could see Kili. "And...?"

"Seventy-seven," he replied with a proud grin. "Seventy-eight now, I suppose."

I went to congratulate him, but my voice would probably squeak. All this time, I was absolutely certain they were younger than me. Twenty, at the most. Except, they're actually as old as my grandparents would have been had they lived. Or... "You're pulling my leg."

They both shook their heads, sporting scarily similar smirks. I whipped my gaze toward Thorin, begging for him to put an end to their games so I could actually retain some dignity. He sent me a grin that was all too genuine. "I was there on the days they were both born."

"Are you immortal or something?"

Fili chuckled. "No. That belongs to the elves, and they can keep it. Our lives span about 250 years, give or take."

I pursed my lips, wanting to ask but dreading the answer I'd get. When the giggling from the back started, I knew I'd come to the conclusion that had been anticipated. 

"Do you want to know?" Thorin asked, taking no time to hide the amusement in his tone. He must've seen my face. 

"If you don't mind."

"195."

By the grace of God, we had come to the overlook just as the words were out of his mouth. I pulled over, nearly barreling through the stone barrier keeping the cars from skiing down the cliff side. The brothers laughed, quickly jumping from the vehicle and leaving a mile-wide damage path in their wake. My brain just wouldn't stop twisting, trying to comprehend what I'd heard and also justifying everything that had been happening up until this point.

"Numbers mean little between different races," he finally said, unbuckling his seatbelt but making no move to exit either. "I would be no more than a middle-aged man."

I thought him old enough to be my dad. Oh, I missed the mark by miles. He wasn't _young enough_ to be my great-grandfather. 

"I also find this arrangement a little uncomfortable. You are in your early twenties, yes? If you were a dwarf, you would be a child. Hardly old enough to wield a sword."

I ran a hand down my face. This was beyond anything I could've expected.

He scoffed. "Why am I making excuses? You most certainly assumed I was much older than you, and you still accepted my advances the other day. Nothing has changed. I feel the same for you as I have for...I don't even know when it started. But in the grand scheme of things, we match well."

"What does that mean?"

He paused again, the explanation sticking just behind his teeth, but it didn't pass through like the last time. I could tell his answer was just a quick recovery. "It means I care for you. And that is all there needs to be."

I doubted it. My stars, would I ever get used to the idea that this was a  _dwarf_ I had been gallivanting with? A strange little man from another land full of magic and monsters, who just so happened to be extremely handsome and have the most endearing nephews. What did he see in me, a stable hand with a small but cozy house that sheltered him during his moment of greatest need? I didn't want to accept that it may boil down to that; there would come a time, after we parted ways, when he would realize it was nothing more than gratitude and move on without looking back. I'd only had to pick up the shattered remains of a broken heart twice in my life. This time, I don't think the glue would hold. He was the glue. But I couldn't hold him back. I think he was missing the true grand scheme. He didn't belong here, and what this was had only been temporary, a passing fancy spurred by some unrestrained tongues (take that how you wish). As I had two nights ago, I endeavored to make the most of what was left. So I smiled at him, hoping I was better at concealing than I proved to be before. "Okay."

Our walk to the cave this time was hand-in-hand, trailing behind the chattering brothers. The solemnity hung in the air, chilling us with the cool winter breeze passing overhead. Even the boys were more muted than usual. I knew it, and the three of them did, too. If we had truly found the entrance to Aule's Halls, this would be the day we said goodbye. No reason to dance around the truth, or try to make up some what-if scenario. My life would return to how it was a week ago, before that storm brought me the most irreplaceable gift I'd ever received, and it would be empty. I would go on, trying to pretend this never happened while also fighting to remember every single detail of the time I spent with these incredible men. But I would go on.

The cave loomed wide in front of us, dark in the late afternoon shadows. It was unnerving, as I still couldn't see the back, but I wanted to go in anyway. In my dreams, this cave was peace, and warmth, and a life I wished I could have. I thought, if I just poked my head in, I would find that all my what-ifs were true. But the dwarves stopped, staring into it with a mixture of wonder, excitement, and wariness. They were ready to go. I'm sure there were family and friends on the other side that they wished to be reunited with. The boys would get to meet their father again. Thorin would see his brother, and his grandfather, and anyone else he had ever lost in his life. I could see in their faces that they anticipated all the great things that would happen once they passed into the void and beyond that. I smiled at them.

"It will be disorienting," Thorin explained to his nephews, never loosening his grip on me. "When you first enter, you will feel as if you cannot move. It took me some time to figure out how, but Mahal willing, we will end up in the same place and I can help you."

They nodded resolutely.

"He is there, somewhere. If we keep searching, he will make himself known to us. We will ask him what brought us here in the first place, and take his response with dignity and pride, no matter what."

Again, they bobbed their heads, nearly bouncing from foot to foot. I wouldn't be so eager to enter that place again, and I'm sure they would have the same perspective once their lungs refused to work properly. 

Thorin turned to me, squeezing my hand. "If we find what we are looking for, we will come back to make things right."

I didn't know what that meant, but I could only shake my head. "Don't. If you get the chance to be at peace, take it. Otherwise, we've all just wasted our time, haven't we?"

The sharp blue eyes in front of me squinted in pain, and I realized it wasn't physical. "No, Holly. There...there has to be..."

"There isn't." I had accepted our fate. It was time he did, too. "Like you don't belong in this world, I don't belong in yours. I have no place in a dwarven afterlife."

"What of...?" His lips moved, searching for the right words, and I filled in the blanks.

"What we just discussed? Yes, Thorin, I feel the same for you. That hasn't changed. Nothing will." I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in his collar. The earth scent of his hair helped stifle the tears pricking at my eyes. "I'll think of you always."

His chest rose in a deep breath against mine, and he held tightly to me. His voice shook gingerly. "This...this cannot be goodbye. It will not be. I promise, I will return immediately, and if I cannot, I will beg to be brought back to you."

What irony, that he would beg to escape the very place we had been trying to get him back to. There was no changing his mind once it was set, though. He had proven that to me countless times already. "I know you will." I was having trouble deciding what I wanted that idea to result in.

Fili and Kili stood close by after I reluctantly pulled myself free. They each displayed huge puppy eyes that made me want to give them a kiss on the nose and a pat on the head. Kili was the first to step forward, hands clasped together in front of his belt. "If you could come with us--if you were given that choice--would you?"

There was nothing to consider. I enjoyed my life here, and I knew some amazing people that I cared for and loved me in return. But, ultimately, there was little that held me so tightly as the three faces staring at me, waiting in earnest for my answer. The raw passion, the courage to do what they had done. They had given me a chance when they didn't even know me. If they were not worthy of my devotion, I was never worthy enough to know them in the first place. "Yes." My answer didn't do much to curve the situation, but it brought smiles to their faces. "Don't get soppy on me, guys. You've known me all of a week."

"Long enough." Fili reached up and pulled me against him briefly, his mustache tickling my cheek. "Long enough to know the kind of person are you, and to know that we are incredibly lucky to have met you here."

"Admit it," I sighed, scrubbing furiously at my eye. "You just want to make me cry."

"Wouldn't bother us none of you did." Kili was next, his thin but strong arms winding around me. "Means you'll miss us."

"Of course I will. Didn't I just say I'd come with you if I could?" I was afraid to say more. If I opened my mouth too much, I would embarrassingly extend my everlasting gratitude for them briefly filling the spot of loneliness creeping into my life.

As the boys let me go to venture toward the cave, I lost my center of gravity as a hand around my waist jerked me to the side. The broad chest I landed against corrected my lapse in balance and warm lips engulfed mine. I'd reached heaven, there was no denying it. I wanted to devour him, as he tried so desperately to do to me, but I pushed as hard as I could and stepped away from him. I felt a piece of my heart rip off and stick with him as I did. "Don't. I'll...I'll make you stay, and then I'll feel guilty for taking away your freedom."

He scoffed, softened eyes taking in every inch of my face with a longing that surely reflected in my own. "It would be the most enjoyable imprisonment."

I shook my head at his poetry and shoved him toward the cave after snatching one last peck. "Go."

He obliged my meager attempt at moving a brick wall, grinning. His voice came in an intimate whisper. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye." My voice held more finality than his did, and I feared any hope it gave me. With my hands gripped at my sides, I watched all three of them step beneath the shadow of the cave's threshold. In the blink of a eye, they were gone. They hadn't past out on the floor as the previous effect had been when entering the void. That could only mean it worked. We had done it. We had gotten them home.

And I wanted to scream into a pillow until I couldn't talk for a whole week.

Some part of me longed to stand there and wait, because Thorin was a man of his word and he would find some way to come back no matter what I said. But time was different where they came from in comparison to this world. I could probably sit there a full day and Thorin would be convinced he'd only been delayed a minute. Stubborn, beautiful dwarf.

I wonder when life will stop handing me all the rotten apples and actually let me have something that I want.

Before I knew what was happening, my quivering chin stilled completely. The tears pooled in my eyes stalled in their tracks and dried up. My shaking limbs stilled, and I could feel nothing. Everything grew numb, all the way down to the bone, including my brain. I felt like I was leaving my body altogether, aware of more than what I was experiencing inside it. My head turned to the west where the sun was just now sinking below the distant ridge. I needed to go there. The pull was so strong, I could feel my whole body bending in that direction. If this week has taught me a single thing, it's about not questioning the strange, overpowering impulses when the rational part of my mind fights for control. Nothing about what has happened or is happening is rational. I'll only find answers by following my gut.

Without a single thought, I sprinted into the cave. I had to be somewhere right that moment, and the cave would get me there. I had to trust it. My eyes slammed shut as I passed through the entrance, the white light sudden and blinding as it engulfed me. A fierce wind pushed against me, whipping my hair around my face, but I could breathe. I gasped against the rush of cold air breaking through my many layers of clothing to sting my warm skin. This wasn't how I remembered it from last time. When I entered the cave a few days ago, I was there with the boys, rushing after Thorin as he fell onto the floor, and then I wasn't. When I opened my eyes, I was in the void. Here, my stomach tumbled around and my whole body felt weightless, as I would imagine one would feel skydiving. I didn't dare open my eyes. If the dwarves' return had screwed something up, and I was facing what the broken portal had to dish out, I didn't want to know what my fate was. If I was racing toward the ground, I didn't want to see it. 

Then I felt it. Solid earth beneath my feet, a hint of slickness from the wet snow. My knees buckled, unprepared to suddenly take my weight. As I reached for something to grab onto and steady myself, I opened my eyes. My shoulder slammed into a brick wall, and I groaned against the tingles zipping throughout my upper body from the impact on the hard surface. Leaning against the wall and panting, I looked around. People, walking along the side of the road. They stopped to peer into the stores' windows, deciding whether or not to go in. They crossed at the stoplights to the opposite sidewalks. Cars moved slowly down the street, sightseeing or avoiding jaywalkers. I blinked, wondering where the trees had gone to. "Not possible," I whispered, my eyes slipping up toward the skyscraper looming high.

I was in Asheville.

Okay, what? First that stupid cave took me to some afterlife lobby where a man with a hammer was beating souls into heaven, if my understanding of that whole foggy ordeal was correct. Then I landed in some underground dwarf kingdom where I found out I've been hosting a king and his two princes for four days. Now, it was your regular old video game fast travel point taking you anywhere you want to go so long as you think hard enough. Those three screwed something up big time when they landed here, and I was getting whiplash. 

But why did I want to come here? A little voice inside me begged to be brought to Asheville because there was something I needed to find here. But I had no clue what that was or where to even begin looking.

Despite living in the area, I had no idea how to navigate the downtown streets of this giant city. Not without the GPS in my truck, anyway. I had no idea which roads led where, only that if I found the interstate, I could work my way home from there. But I didn't have my truck, as it was presumably still sitting in the pull-off, which left me with two obvious problems: I couldn't find my way to the highway, and even if I did, I lived a good fifteen minutes into the mountains. Where I lived wasn't exactly the kind of place you walked home through. Could I bet on an adventurous Uber taking me there if I tried?

Ignoring the many people staring at me quite indifferently (I'm going to assume my sudden appearance here hadn't been noticed), I pushed away from the building and stepped out onto the sidewalk to get my bearings. The sun had disappeared below the horizon now, though it would've been covered anyway by the clouds rolling in. Don't tell me we're going to get more snow. Between work this morning and hiking this afternoon, I hadn't had time to check the weather. Just what I wanted. Across the road was the park dividing College and Patton, snow piled up in various places around it. Surprisingly, many of the cafés in the area were open, the smell of food and coffee wafting through the area. Business winding down for the day kept the streets busy as people left the city for home. Okay, I knew College Street. Take it east, and somewhere after a left turn, I would end up on 240. So I wasn't too bad off. Now I just needed to call a ride. 

Looking for a more comfortable place to hail and wait, I crossed the street to the park, hoping to find a dry, empty bench. I pulled my phone out, but my finger paused over the screen. I needed to think this through. I wanted to come here for a reason, bad enough to be teleported here in some confusing twist of events. Maybe it was best if I stuck around for a while to see if an answer would pop up, but I didn't even know where to start looking for one. All I knew was that I suddenly desired more than anything to be in Asheville, which was unusual considering how much I disliked the hustle and bustle of city life. What could I possibly need here that I didn't know about? What I wouldn't give to have Jack Sparrow's compass to at least start me off in the right direction.

Turns out, however, I didn't need a magical compass pointing me to what I wanted most. That distinct tug on my heart did all the work. Phone still propped in my hand, I walked down the sidewalk on the east side of the small park and entered it, following an invisible scent like a bloodhound. Right next to the live performance stage in the middle of the park, a pile of rocks clustered together next to an oak tree. A large boulder stood out amongst them, and sat up against it was a dark-haired figure. My heart hammered until I was sure it would jump right out of my chest. No, it couldn't be. That wasn't the very same head of long, ebony hair I grasped only a little while ago before watching it disappear before my eyes. He was gone, and I was hallucinating. But a few people entering the park acknowledged him, glancing his way in mild curiosity before moving on. He was there. I had to be sure. Slipping my phone back into my pocket, I skirted around the open square to the other side. He faced Patton, so he didn't see me as I approached from behind. As I drew nearer, I found my suspicions to be right.

There was only one man I knew with such a noble profile curtained by waves of black and silver. 

Slowing a bit, I stepped around the rock until I stood in full view of him. His eyes were locked onto something near the road, studying coolly. He looked sad, face drawn down in a mixture of defeat, confusion, and fruitless discernment. He had no choice but to wait for something that he knew wouldn't come. Clearly, he'd been spending most of his time sitting here ignoring everyone who walked by because it took him a whole ten seconds to actually look up at me. When he did, he sat up straighter, the clouds disappeared from his face, and his expression lifted in pleasant shock. Scrambling to his feet, he looked me up and down, warring with disbelief. I smiled. So like him to be suspicious of something standing right in front of him. Reality hit him, and he mirrored my grin. "Holly."

I fell against him, engulfed by the arms I was so certain I would never feel again. Strong, warm against the bitter chill in the air, and so very real. I breathed in his scent from his neck, trying to hold onto him and take handfuls of hair at the same time. I knew we must've looked a sight, but at the moment, every person in the whole world didn't exist except for the one I was pressed into. God, I never realized how much I would miss this until I thought it was gone for good. 

I had no clue what would happen now, but that didn't matter when I had the dwarf again.

"You didn't waste any time, did you?"

He chuckled, a light sound that carried the same relief I felt. "Nothing could have kept me away."

"Missed your mark by a couple miles."

He pulled back, hands slipping around my back to rest comfortably on my waist. I let my arms rest on his, grabbing onto the leather sleeves of his jacket. If there was a chance he would vanish as soon as I let go, I didn't want to take it. Thorin shook his head. "To tell the truth, we did not enter the same place you and I had been to before. As soon as we stepped into the cave, I was dropped here, beneath that tree. Whatever force sent us there in the first place is no longer working in that way. I have not see Fili or Kili since I've been here, and I feared leaving this spot in case they showed up." There was only mild disappointment on his face, simple concern for his nephews.

"Well, you were determined to get to town a couple days ago. I guess it was only natural you would find the solution to getting your way."

He grinned again, nodding. "I do not know why the cave brought me here. But I feel certain now that we will not be able to just step into the Halls of Waiting so easily. We are still missing something."

I tried to be sad for them that their homecoming would be postponed once more, but I couldn't. As the minutes dragged on, it was getting impossible to imagine them leaving me again. Whatever force was at work here, I'd love to give them a good look at my middle finger. This was mocking at its cruelest: to take them away from me, then give them back, only to rip them from my hands again. I decided to forget about the inevitable for the moment and be glad I had some more time with him. Feeling another undeniable impulse, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. It was bliss now that it didn't hold an immediate farewell. So sweet, especially when he kissed back. The caress on my bottom lip was chaste, but I wished we weren't in the middle of one of the largest cities in the state at the moment; my secluded cabin was looking cozy at the moment. But as much as I could melt into an unrecognizable puddle, there were more pressing matters to attend to than jumping his bones. I placed my hands on his jaw as I leaned away, brushing my thumbs along the line where his beard stopped on his pink cheeks. "We should probably try to find the boys and get home."

He blinked, arising from a daze, then nodded. "Yes, we should. It is your town. Lead the way."

I didn't tell him the truth about how this couldn't be farther from "my town," taking his large hand in mine and heading toward the street. It was darkening now, and the nightlife was coming alive. At that time, however, small snowflakes began to drift, visible against the streetlights all around us. Great. What Uber driver would be willing to wind down mountain roads in the dark while it was snowing? I still had my wallet on me. Maybe we should consider finding a hotel for the night. 

"Holly, I have not been here long," Thorin began. "How did you get here so fast?"

While I wanted to brag about how my truck could fly, he would probably believe me after everything he's discovered in this world, so I skipped out on that opportunity. "I ran into the cave."

His mouth twitched in a smirk. "Did you change your mind that quickly?"

"You have no idea how hard it was to watch you three disappear right in front of me and not follow immediately. No, I suddenly wanted to be here for some odd reason, and something told me the cave was the quickest way. I was right, as it turns out. I think you've all made me develop some kind of mothering instincts that tell me when you're all in danger and that I need to come help you."

He laughed, squeezing my hand. "While there was no immediate danger, I appreciate the thought. However, if you could reserve those instincts for Fili and Kili only, I would be grateful."

"Oh? Too much of a tough, strong dwarf to allow for maternal care?"

"Actually, I would like to kiss you again as we did before without any awkwardness."

Yes, that might be a problem.

His smile was teasing. "Are your instincts telling you which direction we should begin looking for them?"

"I think it's a magical power, and I've used all of it up breaking time and space to get here. I'm going to be honest, Thorin, I don't have a clue, and this place is big." Not as big as Erebor, I'm sure, but the odds of us actually running into them were slim to none, especially if they were moving around themselves.

He sighed, looking around. "Hopefully your many warnings will deter them from getting into trouble. They will be fine on their own for a while otherwise."

I was convinced they would accidently find their way to the university and fall in with all the kids up there (come on, they would be the life of the party), but if he was confident, I wasn't going to say anything. Deciding something had to be done, I turned west and tugged him along.

When the wind blew snowflakes from that direction into our faces, I snuggled closer to him. As expected, his heat radiated into me like a furnace, and I basked in it, lacing our fingers together. I think I was developing an addiction. If I spent a night cuddled against this, I knew I would never be able to sleep any other way again. I wanted to experience that. I wanted it. "I'm coming with you."

His nose tipped toward me. "Hm?"

"When you leave again, to go back to where it is you're going, I'm following you. I can't feel that again, Thorin. What happened to me when I thought you were gone. It was a mistake not to go, and there's absolutely no way I'm watching you walk away again. Use that stubbornness of yours to get me into Aule's Halls or whatever. But I can't stay here."

He was silent for a moment, and I could only wait on the precipice of losing my mind. If he told me there was no way I could come, I had to respect that. I wasn't a dwarf, and no matter what we felt, it was the truth that I didn't belong there. But he was capable of moving mountains with that attitude. He faced a dragon with it. What was his god after such a feat? Finally, he sent me a grin. "Would you leave Houch behind?"

"Of course not. He's coming, too." At the very least, I'd have to find another home for him.

He chuckled. "I would do that," he finally answered my question. "I would advocate for you to be allowed in. However, that won't be necessary. I am staying."

I glared back at him, wondering if my ears were clogging with snowflakes. "What?"

"Our search for a way home will not be in vain. We will send Fili and Kili back when we find it. But I am staying here with you."

In my mind, that was the best thing I'd heard all day. But in all practicality, it was a disaster. "Thorin, I can't let you do that."

"Why not?"

"We don't know what the consequences could be. Remember what you said before? We have no idea what kind of magic we're dealing with here. The force in the cave changed because we tried to do something the wrong way. Something else could happen that would have even bigger effects."

"Is the same thing not capable of happening if  _you_ try to enter with us?"

I hadn't thought of it like that, to be honest. I felt my heart drop into my stomach. "Then we'll just have to stick with our original plan." It was very difficult not to let the tears flow freely down my cheeks. 

"Holly, I don't think you fully understand that I  _want_ to stay with you. I can adapt to your world just fine."

"But why?" I blurted out. "Why do you want to?"

"Because I care for you."

"Thorin, I am not worth giving up peace in the afterlife."

"But you are." He stopped us, turning me to face him and grasping my shoulders. His blue eyes search mine in sincerity. " _You_ give me peace, just as well as the Halls of Waiting can. It is a peace I have waited for my whole life, and not for lack of searching. Maybe that was the reason I was brought here, so I could make a fresh start by doing something right. With someone right." He placed a simple kiss against my lips, pulling back to smile brightly. "It would be worth every second."

I would need to convince him otherwise, somehow. He had relatives waiting on the other side, and I doubted the boys would go without him. I refused to let those two stay at all. But, for the moment, I allowed myself to dwell on what a life with him would be like and make phony plans for what we would do together. I smiled and nodded. "All right."

We had just begun to walk again, turning a corner to pass in front of a café when Thorin stopped. I followed his eyes, thinking he had caught sight of Fili and Kili, but they were locked onto a man sitting at a covered table outside the café. He was older, worn with age and hair completely grey. In his wrinkled hands sat a book that he read, but he eventually looked up, undoubtedly feeling the heat of Thorin's stare. I was about to apologize and yank Thorin back along our path, but he smiled at the dwarf. No, that was a smirk. He knew him.

"Meddling wizard," Thorin growled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There he is! He's tagged in the story, so I'm sure you were waiting for him to show up at some point. He always does.
> 
> I've been spending a good time on revising TSOH, so this one took to the back seat for a while until I finally kicked myself into gear. Thanks for your patience and for taking the time to read this. Love you guys! <3


	8. The Answers No One Wanted

The old man laughed. 

He had actually heard that quip.  _I_ wouldn't have been able to hear that from this distance with all my "perfect" hearing, oh hails my doctor.

"And when has my meddling ever led you stray, Thorin Oakenshield?"

Thorin grumbled beneath his breath, looking all the more like Yosemite Sam than I was willing to admit. I stifled a snort. His hand clenched around mine and pulled me toward the little café patio and out of the snow. The aging man watched our approach with a grin, gaze flickering briefly to our locked hands, then studying me with more glee in his expression. Even if I'd wanted to, I couldn't meet his eyes, slightly creeped out and slightly intimidated. Thorin seemed to know him, though, well enough to sit down at a table with him like we were about to have coffee together (which sounded tremendous right now with this cold), so I trusted his confidence in what he was doing. In an act of undead chivalry, he pulled out a chair for me across from the man, then flopped down on my right with a heavy sigh. His warm palm immediately settled over my thigh, squeezing a little in a comforting gesture. "How did you get here?"

A weathered brow lifted on the gentleman's astonishingly wrinkled face. Despite that, there was a tinge of mischief on it that gave me little reason to wonder why Thorin seemed less than pleased by his being here. "You won't introduce me? Since when have you lost your manners, son of Thrain?"

_Kill 'im!_ Thorin released another long breath, then tipped his head toward me. "This is Holly. We have been staying with her since we arrived here." You know, for all the time he spent playing up my role in all this, you'd have thought he would actually embellish at a time like this. "Holly, this is Gandalf, wandering wizard who tends to wander too far."

Personally, I don't think I'd ever consider jabbing at somebody who practiced any kind of magic, but this Gandalf seemed perfectly aware of Thorin's moods, so I plucked up the courage to finally look at him. Holy smokes. In those sharp blue eyes, I saw a whole library of knowledge packed into one volume, with ages upon ages of history of a place I wouldn't even know where to begin unraveling. Wars and conflicts the like of which we would never know here on Earth. If I thought Thorin was world-weary... But even then, I could very easily see myself putting my full trust into this man. There was safety and comfort in that wise old gaze, a spot of cover in No Man's Land; despite all the turmoil, with him there, everything would turn out just fine. Our situation was no different. "Nice to meet you," was all I could say to the most powerful being I'd ever met, of course.

He chuckled, holding out his hand for me to shake. "A pleasure, Miss Holly. I'm sure you have found your time with the dwarves to be of a similar nature."

I just laughed at Thorin's glare because, given the chance, I would speak all about what I truly thought of my temporary roommates who decided to shake all the snow off the house with their snoring and empty my pantry as if it would magically refill in this storm. But now wasn't the time. "They've been good company, I can say that." 

"Are you going to answer my question?" Thorin possessively covered my hand with his once I'd retrieved it from the old man. "How did you get here?"

"Well, certainly not in the same manner you did."

"What? You've never caused a war and paid the price for it in the end?" Whoa. His voice was so bitter, my spine shivered. There was an unhealthy amount of self-loathing in it. Maybe I underestimated how much he actually managed his guilt over what happened before he died. Everybody has regrets; this was something completely different.

"Now, Thorin," Gandalf encouraged softly, "nobody blames you for what happened. The orcs would have descended on Erebor with or without your...slight in judgment."

"Yes, because we went there in the first place. You could've warned us."

"I did not know until you were so consumed by the sickness that you never would've believed me anyway. At any rate, I was delayed. But it doesn't matter now. You need to find your way back home."

My mind went blank during all that chatter that I understood nothing about, but my ears perked back up at that last sentence. Finally, I could make a worthwhile contribution to the conversation. "We've been trying to do that since they got here," I intervened, leaning into Thorin's shoulder in hopes that it would calm him down a bit. The heavy breaths through his nose were disconcerting. "We found a cave in the mountains not far from here that's definitely connected to Middle-earth somehow, but we've had a time trying to figure out how it works." You'd think dimension traveling would be pretty straightforward. 

"Ah, yes," Gandalf drawled, taking a sip from his steaming cup of tea. "I believe I know which portal you're talking about."

" _Which_?"

"There are more?" Thorin asked. "Where are they?"

The wizard folded his hands on the table, and I prepared for a lesson in magic. "Where they are in this world, I could never guess. However, I've discovered a few in various spots all around Middle-earth. They are not open at all times, but it takes a great event to bring them to life. Once they are activated, their power reaches over great distances."

"Was there one on Ravenhill?"

"Certainly not, but nearby. A cave, in fact, in the untouched woodlands just north of the Lonely Mountain. I believe it was triggered upon the impending deaths of the last descendants of the direct line of Durin."

Okay, "portal" I had never expected, but "portals" plural? I clambered up this slippery slope of information, trying to grasp every little detail of everything I never thought I'd ever have a legitimate conversation about. I looked over to Thorin. His head was tilted down, eyes blinking rapidly in that endearing contemplative manner of his. I wasn't the only one absolutely befuddled, I guess. Without looking up, he asked, "Why would our deaths be so important?"

Gandalf smiled hearteningly. "Because your time had not yet come. There was much for you to do still before you could be return to stone. You have a kingdom to rebuild, after all."

"Dain can take care of that. He's nothing if not efficient."

"Thorin," the man chuckled. "You have not died. You are alive, though a little worse for wear."

I smiled involuntarily. I knew it. I knew he had more than the afterlife awaiting him.

Thorin's head snapped up, the grip on my hand starting to constrict. All I could do was squeeze back as best as I could. "I'm...alive?"

"In Middle-earth, yes. Your body is broken yet healing, but your soul has not returned from where it was lifted from your body. All three of you lay unconscious while Dain works with the rest of the dwarves to settle all immediate matters needing tending. The orcs have been decimated or driven off and the Men are to receive their promised share of the treasure. Now Erebor just has to wait for its king to awaken."

"And everyone else?" Thorin interrupted with sorrowful hope in his tone. "The rest of the company, Bilbo. They all live?"

"Yes. Each with his own share of scars to bear, but they have been spared."

The dwarf looked a hair away from passing out, his eyes locked to the table as he inhaled careful, measured breaths. And me? I grappled for the conversation. I knew all along that he had given up too easily, but for him to have actually been alive in the other world for this long? Thorin seemed so lost, and yet, what could I possibly give him when I knew jack about this whole affair? You might as well ask me to perform brain surgery. But I would be here, like I told him I would be. We'd been given a ray of hope, and we were going to dance in it. "Then there is a way to get him home," I probed the wizard as Thorin came down from his existential crisis. "All of them. I know that cave has something to do with it. What do we need to do?"

The corners of Gandalf's mouth twitched, but it wasn't with the same elation I was feeling. There was sadness in it. I felt panic start to rise. "The only way the dwarves can return to their world is the same way they came to be here. Their lives were threatened when the portal first opened. The same must happen again in order for it to take full effect."

At once, all excitement I'd been swallowed in was suck out of me. My face fell numb, the very blood in my body running like ice water. I couldn't breathe, and I turned to Thorin in hopes that I wasn't going crazy. His jaw was locked and his eyes were tight, but otherwise, his usual composure and assurance were back in place. He just stared at Gandalf, the question in his gaze. I decided to voice it. "So you're saying...they have to die to return to Middle-earth?"

The wizard nodded, looking back and forth between the two of us. Our varying degrees of shock were probably a great source of amusement, if their deaths weren't our topic at the moment.

"Are you sure?" was all my voice could manage as I struggled to collect myself. Watching them walk away from me into the cave was one thing, something I can manage if I need to. But knowing their last moments in this life would be in pain... Tears pricked at my eyes. There had to be some other way.

"This is the only way," Gandalf replied to my inner thought, making me wonder whether he had the ability to read it and if he had been looking into me this whole time.

Thorin found his voice at last, but what came from it certainly wasn't what I expected to hear. "And I  _have_ to return?"

"It is in your best interest that you do." Just as perplexed as I, Gandalf tilted his head at the dwarf. "And why ever wouldn't you want to? Don't you wish to revel in the fruits of your labors? Erebor is free, and it is yours, ready to be built back up to the days of your grandfather. A descendent of Durin must be on the throne, and quite frankly, I don't think Dain truly wants the pleasure. He is eager to return to his hills."

"Fili can take over. He is ready."

I snorted. Were we talking about the same Fili here? "I think you're grasping at straws. Rethink what you just said and tell me you believe your own words." While I had no doubt Fili would be an excellent king in his uncle's place, he was still very young and brash. That sweet little thing would probably crumble under the responsibility and destroy himself trying not to let it show. "Just say why you don't want to go."

He glared through one eye at me, but I just pushed back. When he finally let up with his teeth-grinding, he slumped. "I don't want to go anywhere near that mountain."

Oh. That...was a bit startling.

"That is why I did not want to believe we could go anywhere except the Halls of Waiting," he explained to me, fingers fidgeting together. "I didn't  _want_ the other option." He turned to Gandalf, straightening his back just a little. "I chose to remain here before this conversation, and I will stick by that. Fili and Kili will be returning, but there is no place for me there."

Gandalf and I shared a similar look: one of sadness and deep frustration for this pigheaded idiot. The wizard just beat me at voicing it. "No one blames you for what happened, Thorin Oakenshield. Not a single one of your loyal followers. They all want nothing more than for you to come back and be their king, as you have always been. Do not disappoint them."

"That cursed stone will not trap me again!" The growl was almost feral, and I fought the urge to scoot back just a little. He was breathing heavily in desperation. "I want none of that cold metal sitting in that mountain either! Leave it to those who have the strength to withstand it."

"And where will you stay while you're here?"

Thorin glanced over to me, soft eyes asking the question. A little presumptuous, methinks. But we both knew what my answer would be. If his mind couldn't be changed, he would always be welcome in my home.

But...

"I will gladly let you stay with me," I told him, grasping his larger hand. "But, this is your chance for redemption. Don't run away from this. Don't take the easy road. Fight for what is yours, and take back everything that you lost. Your dignity, your home. Make yourself even greater than you were before, and you'll be worthy of that crown you're trying to duck out from under. It sounds to me like you'll have a whole line of support behind you. Don't rely on yourself to overcome this. Let others help you. I would've thought you'd learned that by now."

He grinned, watching my thumb rub back and forth over the inside of his wrist. "You are right, as always."

"When will you learn to actually trust me?"

"Eventually,  _mizim,_ but I'm getting there."

"I see," Gandalf mused quietly, glancing back and forth between the two of us. "Well, this...complicates things."

"How so?" Thorin sniffed, probably ready to lock horns with the wizard. 

"Remember what I told you was the only way back to Middle-earth?" He jerked his head at me. "This is a reversal of a magic spell. It will not work on her. She cannot come with you."

_Here we go._ "I can live with it," I told him, tilting my chin just a bit. "I prepared myself for when they would go. Knowing that they will be returning to their old lives is good enough for me." Lies, lies, lies. All of it. But Thorin had a job to do, and I would make sure that he knew it was okay for it to be done. In the grand scheme of things, what I wanted didn't matter. This was all about him and the people he represented. 

Gandalf looked rather remorseful all of a sudden, and I started to get scared. "The return must be in the same manner by which one died. Poisoning or otherwise will not be sufficient."

My heart plummeted, and I recalled the two puncture wounds I had seen marring Thorin's torso along with a thousand other marks. "That would mean..."

"A blade," Thorin finished for me, much too calmly.

"You have to be stabbed again?"

"The area on the body does not matter," Gandalf continued. "It can be done in a place that will ensure minimal pain and no suffering."

"And..." I swallowed thickly, my ears starting to ring. "And you'll be doing it?"

He closed his eyes momentarily, then stared back at me with too much pity. "I cannot stay in this world after this conversation. I must return soon; I am on borrowed time."

Before I could try to form words from my dry mouth, Thorin rose to his feet, glaring at the wizard with contempt. "No. I refuse to allow this. This has gone to far, Tharkun. Tell me the truth, or I will walk away now."

"Who do you take me for?" Gandalf growled with so much authority. He wouldn't need to stand even if he attempted to. "It is how I've said it, Thorin. I would not do this for my own amusement. This is the truth."

Thorin dropped down into the seat again, hands limp in his lap. His lips formed words, but they made no sound.

"I'll do it." My voice quivered, threatened by the stinging in my eyes. But I steeled my face and my resolve. There was nothing I wouldn't do for these dwarves to see them where they needed to be. And if this was what it took, well...I just hoped I was strong enough to endure it. "I'll do it."

"Holly, no," Thorin argued weakly, taking my hand between both of his. "We will find another way. There must be someone else we can turn to."

"No!" I was taken aback by the force of the word and the sudden territorial need taking over me. "I won't put your lives in someone else's hands. I'm certain I can do it right, and damn it, I will do it, Thorin." I turned to Gandalf, swiping away the lone tear that escaped. "Near the cave, right?"

He nodded, and I had no idea what would make him smile but he seemed inclined to do it. "Yes. And, if you truly mean to do this, dear girl, I would suggest learning how to wield a knife in the meantime."

Oh, I knew a thing or two about knives. I just...didn't have a clue where to stick it in someone...to kill them. I never thought I would actually ever need to. My soul, what have I gotten myself into?

"I do not wish to leave now," Gandalf said abruptly, breaking me from the downward spiral of my thoughts, "but I have given you everything you need to know, so I must depart. I can take you to Fili and Kili before that, and I'm certain you can find your way from there." He bowed his head to me. "Good luck, Miss Holly. And I will see you, Thorin, on the other side." Just as Thorin jumped up to begin more demanding, Gandalf waved a hand in front of us.

Then we were falling in darkness again. I lost track of the hand I had desperately clutched to in the last second, but I let the weightlessness carry me without fear. Stars rushed past me in dizzying twinkles of light, and I closed my eyes against it. 

To be perfectly honest, I was getting real tired of this.

I was prepared when my feet struck the ground once more, and the darkness lifted. But only slightly. Something cold and wet tickled my nose. It was still snowing. I was in a field, short drying grass manicured to perfection but now slowly being covered by a layer of white. A couple hundred feet in front of me was a stone wall. "You've got to be kidding me."

Those two ended up at _Biltmore_?

"Whose house is this?"

Thorin's voice suddenly rising from the darkness jumpstarted my heart, and I turned to see him standing right next to me, staring in absolute awe at the structure in front of us. I remember I had the exact same expression the first time I saw it. "Wealthy family from a little over a century ago. It's a museum now." On steroids, with a splash of Disney princess ballroom. The outside was illuminated against the pitch black background concealing the mountain view behind it. No one was around. How long would it possibly take us to find those kids? This place was massive. "Let's start looking in the gardens."

"Holly."

"Are you going to try to convince me not to send you home? Because, after all this time and all this hard work, you're going to have to find another tactic than 'please don't do this.'"

That actually got him to grin, something I desperately needed at the moment. Then his hands slid onto my waist, and I felt my dread slowly dissipating. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you wanted to get rid of us this badly."

I drew my arms around his neck and pressed my temple to his. "Well, then it's a good thing you know better." After we stood like that for a few minutes, I started to realize that maybe he needed this just as much as I did. I couldn't imagine someone with that many scars having to voluntarily face another blade again. After all, it was only a few days ago that he had endured his killing blow, even if the wound was healed. My insides recoiled at the thought of breaking his body once more.

But, at the end of the day, he would return to a whole one. And that mattered the most.

"Strength like yours I have never known, _mizim._ " His whisper came almost deafening in the silent field. "Not amongst any of the dwarves I have done battle with. To have endured all you have just to take on more. Where do your qualities end?"

"Oh, yes, I have suffered indeed. The sweet, unprompted assistance of two very keen dwarves and their sexy, smooth-talking uncle. Such agony."

He chuckled, leaning back until our noses stood a hair apart. "We will not forget the insolent, charming hostess that we have brought such turmoil onto. I swear it."

_Then don't leave_ , a desperate part of my heart begged of him. But now wasn't the time to be selfish. I had had my time with him, no matter how inadequate I felt it was, and now it was time to let go.

Despite the rollercoaster of a night, I felt peace as we walked hand-in-hand toward the exquisitely beautiful mansion. No one was around, and I waited for a security guard to show up and toss us out. We were left undisturbed, and I led Thorin by the hand to the gardens at the left of the house. By the light of a nearby lamppost, we found the end of our wild goose chase. Kili was the first to spot us, jumping off the barrier leading over the cliffside on the other side of the house. "There you are! We've been looking everywhere! How long have you been here?"

"Maybe two minutes," I said, pulling them both into strong hugs. I would have missed their cuddles.

"Find any trouble?" Thorin inquired, glancing between the two of them.

"None to find." Fili gestured to the building. "No one's here."

"It was a summer home anyway," I mumbled.

"What are we doing back here?" Kili asked, gesturing with his arms out. "The cave didn't work. Why would it bring us back?"

"We happen to have an answer for that." Thorin glanced at me, and I nodded. He could do the honors of reciting our discovery to them. Engaging in one conversation about it was enough for me for one night.

They took the news with solemn, but surprising calmness. I didn't know whether that was a good or bad sign, for them to be so accepting of an impending death. I suppose all warriors consigned themselves to that fate at one point. That would partially explain why I would never be a decent one. And it wasn't even my own death I was afraid of here. Both pairs of eyes flew to me when Thorin reached the unmentionable part. I tried to put on the same show I gave Gandalf. You know, fake some kind of levelheadedness. When I saw pity in Fili's eyes, I knew I'd failed. "We don't have to leave."

"You are needed back home," Thorin replied, unfolding his arms and pushing off the wall he leant against. "Your mother is there, and I will not allow her to mourn for sons that are not truly dead. I beg of you both. Do not do that to her."

Their compliance was obvious, and I was glad they had the sense to think of her. She had no idea that they were safe; I would be comforted in knowing where they were when it was time to send them off. 

"And you'll be coming, too?" Kili asked of his uncle, skepticism clearly in the tilt of his head. I still wasn't convinced they weren't Thorin's. 

"Yes," I interrupted, deducing the next words out of the king's mouth to be complete and utter bullcrap. "He will be going."

Fili stared at me, wide eyes full of the one question that stabbed repeatedly at my heart. I shook my head, feeling the weight of heavy lead pulling on it, and he tipped his chin down.

"We can talk more on this later," Thorin said with a tight voice, looking toward the snowflakes falling around us. "Do you know how far we are from your home?"

"A lot farther than we were in town." I really didn't want to pay four people's fare, but I don't think I'm low on options. It would be morning by the time we got back if we walked. "Come on. I'll get us a way back once we get off the estate."

I really hope the Uber driver was too tired to ask questions about three oddly-dressed short men.

*************************************************

"I have figured out why we were brought to your home," Thorin whispered against my lips. They were tingling, and he seemed enamored with them. A sign of a severe amount of devout attention to them. If that managed to squeak passed me, I always had my hot cheeks to alert me to a fierce make-out session. I was growing warm with his and my furs secured tightly around me.

"Oh?" I urged, breathing in the cold breeze wafting in from the mouth of the cave and sending the scent of pines and sweet earth right at me. But it hadn't come from outside. The source was right in front of me, and I inhaled deeply. "Because you would've been dead otherwise?"

The edge of his lips curled just a bit. "Not as worse a fate as you might imagine, given the circumstances that sent me that way."

"Yes, so eager to avoid the mountain you haven't left once in an entire year."

"Well, there is one thing in the mountain that I would rather not be parted from for too long."

I giggled, reaching up to touch my hair. My numb fingertips found a braid dangling next to my cheek, thin but intricate with a metal bead at the end of it. It was special, though I couldn't exactly place why. "You were saying?"

"Ah, yes. You have learned by now of the phenomenon amongst dwarves called Ones, have you not?"

I blanked completely, but my head nodded anyway. "Dwarves marry only once. I know that."

"That is because there is only one person in the entire world for us. The other half of us. Our better half, we like to say, and I fully concede."

What did that sound like? "You mean soulmates?"

"Of a sort. It is such a rarity to find our One. Everyone is taught never to expect it. And I think that makes the discovery all the more sweeter, especially when it is in the most unlikely way."

"Like traveling between worlds," I breathed, flabbergasted by what I was hearing. Was he actually implying...?

"I could not believe it at first. How could I be so deserving of something so few are given the chance to experience, after all I've done? But Mahal granted me the gift of renewed life even when I knew it would be taken from me. And I received a far better deal, tenfold. Here I fall, right into the home of the very woman he had designed for me to love and cherish."

My head reeled, vision tilting and whirling all over the place. Giddiness flooded in me with each beat of my heart, the heart I had given to his man in front of me. "The other reason you chose to remain?"

"What life could I lead, knowing you were out there but unable to be next to you? I knew I would fail, so consumed by you that I wouldn't know what to do with myself. But you were so adamant about sending me off to return to Erebor. I feared disappointing you more, so I was willing to do what you asked."

Irony at its best right there. "I hope you didn't feel like I was pushing you away because I didn't want you around. I didn't want to stand in the way of something I realized was much more important than me."

"You are easy to read, _mizim._ And please, never count that hunk of rock as more valuable than you. I would sooner destroy it myself than place any more importance on it than my One."

What had this dwarf gone through for the Lonely Mountain? Miles upon miles of a grueling quest, a fire-breathing beast with a grudge, and a battle like nothing I could ever comprehend. Who was I in comparison to his lifelong dream?

His One. Deep down, I could feel the sacredness of such a title that rose beyond stone halls and hoarded gold. "I'm glad you came," I finally admitted, beating down the emotion gathering in my throat. "And I'm glad I could be here. It was worth all of it."

The smile beaming from his beard fell on me dazzlingly, and there was no room for regret anyway. "Yes, it was." In an instant, that smile pressed to my lips, warm and tender like the light caress of a finger. I had to hold onto his jacket to stay upright, the sensations passing through my body so intense I was sure my knees would give out. How lucky was I to actually experience something I never once thought to be true? Oh, how much I enjoyed being proven wrong.

The moment faded, and I was certain the dream was ending. But then the world fell back into place. The walls and ceiling of the cave glowed from flickering firelight, the heat of the flames bouncing around to press out the cold of the blizzard outside. A good thing, too. It took all of three seconds for me to realize I was on my back, several layers of clothing separating me from the frigid floor, completely and utterly naked. But it didn't matter. The burning body of a dwarf lay over me, the cool strands of his damp hair tickling the sides of my face. Every muscle and every scar pressed to my skin, and I never delighted so much in the touch of another person. It was ecstasy itself. And it felt so real. 

"How shall this be, my radiant wife?" Thorin rumbled above me, his crisp blue eyes dark with lust. 

I knew instantly what I wanted, and my heart pounded in response. "It'll be the one that counts, my king," I whispered back, fingers locked into his dark hair. "I stopped my herbs a few days ago. I think it's time we started that family we've been talking about."

Pure joy, lively and eager, spread across his face. I have never seen happiness quite like that. "As my queen wishes."

My morning would be doomed to tears and sobs in my pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.
> 
> My, this was more difficult to write than I imagined it would be, and I'm still not entirely satisfied with it. Except for the last part. And I've been busy with TSOH, as usual. I will try with all my heart not to take such a long break like this again, if for no other reason than I forgot how to write this story. The flow seems to be gone, but hopefully I'll have it back by the next chapter.
> 
> So, not too dark, right? It didn't seem dark until I started writing in, then I was like "she's actually going to stab them." Seems a little off from the humorous story I started out with. Oh, well, I'll see how it goes.
> 
> Thanks to all my lovelies for sticking by. Each comment is read and cherished, and all kudos are welcome to say a word or two. =D


	9. Hold On Forever

I was hiding, and I knew it. But I didn't care.

The moment I saw the blade in his hand, it finally struck me.

I hadn't dreamt our time in Asheville, as much as I wanted to switch that whole conversation with what I actually saw in my sleep last night. It was actually going to happen, whether or not I wanted it to. So I ran. I put my hand up before he could say a word, grabbed Houch and his leash, and sprinted out the door of my cabin. It was warmer, the snow nearly completely melted, leaving nothing but muddy ruts and dead grass. How ironic. 

We made it all the way to the barn where I spent an hour or so shoveling manure. Neither of the Harpers were actually there, but I left a note on the whiteboard telling them I had stopped by so they wouldn't question why the grain bins were suddenly full. Each step I jogged back up to the house hurt. I felt lead weights attached to my ankles, dragging me back down the mountain and away. I didn't want to face it. I told myself I could do it. I'd believed my own lie at the time. Anything to keep myself from breaking down into a total disaster right then and there. 

I passed the house and continued along the road, stopping at the other cabin up the way now owned by another rental company. No one was there, so I sat on the front porch with Houch resting at me feet and watched the fluffy white clouds roll over the blue sky. I tried to glean some kind of happiness from the gorgeous view and the beautiful day. But I was powerless against my fear. 

Well, I hadn't lied entirely. I meant it when I told them that I wouldn't let anyone else touch them. No stranger would ever do this, and anyone that agreed would not give them the amount of mercy they deserved. But I looked at that knife, a serrated blade from my kitchen set, resting in his palm, and I realized that I couldn't do that either. I couldn't say that I had any more right to send them from this world as humanely as another person. I  _would_ mess up, and I would have to watch the life drain from their eyes in agony. 

I would have to take their lives.

I slipped onto the step below me, pulling a willing Houch into my lap and hugging him tightly around the neck. I breathed in his usually repulsive doggy scent, letting it calm the imminent breakdown. Then he licked my arm, bathing it in wet kisses, and I smiled. At least I had the dog.

I watched him appear from behind the tree line and walk up the gravel driveway. He had a coat in one hand, a plaid flannel one from my guest closet, and it was draped over one shoulder. He said nothing as he wrapped the coat around me and sat down to my left, his shoulder pressed into mine and a giant palm laying over Houch's head. The dog lapped up the attention, trying to get closer to the pets by climbing further onto my lap. I laughed, the air wheezing from my lungs when he pressed a bony leg into my stomach. "You can go around, you know?"

"No, he has the right idea."

I snorted, glaring at the much-too-smug dwarf sitting beside me. "Why don't you join him then?"

"If you insist."

I hadn't actually expected him to push Houch aside and throw a leg over my thighs, but that's exactly what he did. I pushed him back before he could drape the other one, too, dragging Houch back into place. "I think I'll take the dog instead, thanks."

He leaned back on one hand placed onto the step above us, his pointed nose brushing my hair from my cheek and searching out the skin of my neck. "I will feel better leaving, knowing he is with you and he will take care of you."

I grinned, shrugging my shoulder involuntarily when his moustache tickled my jaw. I'd never felt that before. Once the tingling passed, I tilted my head away, welcoming the beard's touch. The details of my dream the night before arose to the front of my mind, and my cheeks surely glowed pink. I wanted it, what we were about to do before I awoke. I'm certain I always have; that voice could've coerced me into it days ago. But I couldn't. Not now, when it would turn into one more thing I couldn't have. That would drive me deeper into insanity. I don't think he wanted to persuade me either. It was best if we just let it be.

So I just enjoyed the warmth of his lips and his breath along my shoulder and up behind my ear, savoring it for a later date. When he unhurriedly moved off, I turned to plant a kiss of my own. He tasted of coffee from earlier that morning; I could tell he wasn't a huge fan of it, but he sat with me this morning on the chairs of my porch anyway, watching the sunrise with my hand in his. I clasped his chin between my fingers, lightly scratching my nails through the coarse hair. His groan sent a pulse straight to my belly, so I pulled back before I wouldn't be able to. "You charming rascal."

He chuckled, snatching one more kiss before leaning away entirely. "You are the only one who thinks that."

"Bullcrap. They've just never said anything to you. Who do you think would go up to their king and salaciously purr into his ear, hm? Instant beheading in this world, especially if she didn't meet his standards."

"You'd be safe then. And you are at liberty to 'purr' into my ear anytime you wish."

Did I ever think that he would make this propriety thing easy? "Thorin."

He sighed through his nose, nodding. "I know, _mizim._ I apologize." We sat in silence for a time, and I could physically feel the air cool with tension. He was stewing on something, fingers of the hand in his lap twitched every so often. After keeping me in suspense for an ungodly amount of time, he dropped his head and fished around in his jacket. I immediately felt sick. "I think it best we move onto what I originally came for."

The knife glinted against the sun, and I flinched. This would be a valuable lesson, I told myself as I clenched against the pain in my chest spreading through me quickly. To know how to defend myself if ever I needed to. But nothing rational made it through the part of my brain reminding me of the real motive here.

"Holly." The crack in his voice made my eyes burn. "Please tell me you will reconsider."

"Thorin, I already told you what my decision is."

"I don't think you understand what this means." He dropped the knife onto the porch and took both my hands between his. The pain in his eyes reflected what gripped my whole body. "Whether or not you're doing the right thing, you cannot take someone's life and remain the same afterward. Each one brings a change to you that is hardly ever positive. You are brave for doing this, but I'm afraid of what will happen once it's over and you're left alone."

"I won't crumble." My voice sounded strong than I felt. "I won't fall into self-loathing or regret or anything like that. Despite the deed, I'll know you're alive, and that will help."

"You don't know that."

"I do because it's already working. I'm happy that you'll get to return home, to the place you grew up and fought for so strongly. Trust me, babe."

He bowed his head in defeat, the corner of his lips twitching. "You've known more than I first expected from the very beginning. I suppose I should stop being surprised by your marvels." He released one hand momentarily, replacing his with the knife. The cool metal burned my skin as I took it into my fist. "Have you planned at all?" he asked.

"Are you asking if I know how to execute someone?"

He nodded. "Yes."

I let the knife fall to my lap, lifting my other hand to brush my fingers over the side of his neck just beneath his jaw. He inhaled sharply. "I know the artery here will bleed quickly. And cutting the throat as well will speed up the process. I'd...rather not do that. If I did it wrong, I don't think I could watch any of you..." The words got stuck.

"Drown?" he suggested quietly.

 I nodded.

"Well, that isn't entirely the most effective way." He guided my hand around his neck, resting it on the junction with his shoulder. "There. The target is bigger, and it will only take seconds." 

I dragged my hand down his chest, pressing it to his left pec and looking up to his sober face for confirmation.

"The heart can be tricky. It is easy to miss or for the knife to catch on a rib."

"That is, if you're in the middle of a fight, right? What if you're careful?" 

He nodded. "It is an option."

"Show me."

Hesitantly, he took my hand with the knife, positioning my fingers on it the way he wanted them. My throat constricted when he put the blade beneath his pec and tilted the handle downward. "Right there, then push directly up. It should be more accurate if you take your time, as opposed to doing so in a fight. I will not be conscious for very long, so it is relatively painless."

I couldn't stop staring at the blade, my shaking fingers wrapped tightly around it with his much larger digits enclosing mine. I dropped it, distrustful of my uncontrollable spasms right next to his chest. Why was it that every time I managed to convince myself that all would turn out okay in the end, I backtracked with my mind flooded with images of the blood leaving his body and draining his life away? This isn't wrong. This is what we're supposed to be doing. 

So why can't I breathe?

My cheek pressed to the coarse scruff beneath his jaw, his earthy scent filling my nose. I took it in greedily, grasping onto his jacket and clenching my hand around it with all my might. His arms enclosed me tightly, one curling up to touch my hair in the most soothing gesture. My anxiety calmed, and I was warm.

What we were planning to do may not have been wrong, but this certainly was more right than anything.

"We have agreed," Thorin whispered softly, laying his head on mine. "Fili, Kili, and I. This experience is not something either of them want for you, so they begged me to find another solution. I will be the one to send them off, so you will not have the burden of all three of us."

I sighed, feeling a weight lift from my shoulders. I would choke with them, I knew it. I may have given my heart to Thorin, but their innocence would break it before I could do anything. They would grin at me, putting their trust in me completely. They would think it would make it easy for me, but it would not help. They may have been his blood, but Thorin had more discipline to get the job done. I was so grateful. Tears of relief dripped from my eyes. "Okay."

I ended up between his legs, cradled to his chest with one hand stroking my knee and the other caressing my arm. I tried to look up into his face, but the angle didn't allow me to see anything. His voice came sorrowful but resolute. "Can I tell you something,  _mizim_?" 

I nodded, relaxed by the vibration beneath me and craving more of it.

"I hope you don't remember us when we are gone. I hope all memory of us leaves you. To know that this brings you so much pain, I can hardly bear it. Please, try to return to life as it was before you knew us."

I nodded again, knowing perfectly well that I was lying and there was absolutely no way I could do what he asked. This pain was unimaginable, but I never wanted to forget these three men and what they did to my insignificant little life just within the span of a week. No one can return to an old path once they've found a new one. I would never be satisfied after this.

"I will."

***************************************************

There would be no fluke this time. No lapse in the magic or unexpected miracle. This was for real. It was happening now, and the numbness I had armored myself with up until this point was slowly cracking away.

They were dressed entirely in everything they had arrived to this world in, mail and leather and boots. They had nothing else, and we assumed that anything from this world would not travel with them. The boys were devastated at this realization, wishing for a small token from me to take. I'd sacrifice anything to stay with them, if I could.

While they had been eager to jump into the cave last time we were here, they had nothing but disdain for the gaping hole in the side of the cliff. It would surely crumble under the weight of their scowls. We had been certain that they would leave the day before. What was different this time, I wondered? 

As much as I had made this about myself and what  _I_ would be going through, it took me the ride over here to realize what this did to the boys. They had all but lost their confidence in being able to face their own deaths again. There was no way they could be stabbed without enduring some pain, and after knowing what it was like, I doubt they were eager to feel it again. Their faces may have been expressionless, but I knew better by now. They were terrified. My time for showing fear had come this morning with Thorin. It was time I stood strong for them. So as we walked from the lookout to the cave, I held both their hands, sandwiched between them as we hiked the now familiar trail. Neither made any move to pull away, clinging tightly without a care in the world. It seemed to help; the strength in their eyes returned. It helped me in turn.

As we stood in the clearing, simultaneously stalling for something, Fili turned to me with the tiniest grin. "I don't know where we'd be if you hadn't invited me into your home, Holly. Knowing hardly a thing about us, you still dedicated your time to sheltering us and assisting our return. I knew there was something about you from the moment I saw you leaning over me on your porch."

"Of course, there is," Kili piped it, ready to splinter my heart like glass shards all the same. "No remorse for ordering us around, even after finding out who we are? I'd say that's someone valuable to have around."

Fili nodded and smiled. "We won't forget you, I promise."

Could the fact that there isn't anything special about me, or an act of decency, be overridden by the knowledge that princes from another world think so highly of me? I thought and I concluded quickly: yes, yes, it would. 

Kili laughed as he took me in from head to toe. "What a queen you'd make."

"Kili." The three of us collectively recoiled from the bark coming from the entrance of the cave. Unlike the younger ones, Thorin's mood had not improved since we came down here. His sweetness at the cabin steps had receded and left behind the grouchy old man that stumbled into my house and snarled his distrust at me. In fact, he almost seemed in a rush to get down here and "get this over with," as he so ineloquently stated earlier. While he'd seemed so sure of himself of until this point, he wasn't coping well anymore. Nothing I did could cure him of his melancholy. My, how the tables have turned.

One at a time, I pulled Fili and Kili into a long squeeze, putting to memory what it was like to be hugged by a dwarf. I clenched my eyes when I realized how easily I may forget. But I held on for the moment, giving them each a smile and a kiss to the cheek. It didn't matter that they weren't blood, and our short time together didn't stop me from admitting to myself that I loved them. I told myself over and over again that, if I truly did love them, I would do what was best for them. And this was it.

I fully expected us to be whisked away to the void again when we stepped beneath the shadow of the overhang suspended above the entrance to the cave. But we stayed in the physical world as we passed into the cool interior, and I chalked it up to some interference with Gandalf's appearance. Once we walked all the way to the back, I stepped beside Thorin, touching my fingers to his elbow. He grinned, but it didn't reach his eyes. In his hand, the knife rested, held within a fist so tight his knuckles glowed white. "You should leave."

I shook my head. "No. I told you I would stay here for you and for them, and I don't think I've gone back on a promise just yet." 

Fili sent me a final nod and smile as he took his place before his uncle, and I responded with my own as I stepped toward the wall. I knew my legs wouldn't hold me once this began, and I needed to save my resolve for when I really needed it. Kili took the spot next to me, slipping my hand into his grasp.

Thorin cupped the back of the boy's head gingerly, pulling him near so he could whisper into his ear. Something faltered in Fili's face as he listened, and my curiosity wondered what the exchange was about. His brave face remained in place, however, and he nodded his answer. Resting their foreheads together, Thorin stepped closer until their bodies touched. 

In a split second that yanked a gasp from my chest and had Kili gripping my fingers tighter, he angled them both toward the opposite wall and moved swiftly. As Fili's body tensed and hunched, I knew what had happened, despite the fact that they had deliberately hidden the act. I bit my lip until I tasted rust, trying to breathe so I didn't pass out. Thorin hid his face in Fili's blond waves, affectionately petting them with incoherent but soothing murmurings rumbling from his chest. Just as Fili's knees gave out, a bright light filled the room, emanating from his spot. The flash was quick, and once my eyes had recovered from the sudden blindness, I realized that the place where he once stood was empty, leaving Thorin by himself in the middle of the cave. 

Fili was gone. The last thing I would remember of him was the sight of his body jerking against the intrusion of the knife into his young body and his sharp exhale that had echoed off the walls.

Thorin lifted his chin, letting a breath deflate his lungs. Despite the fact that he was visibly trembling, he still seemed completely in control of himself. "Kili," he called, entirely softer than the last time he'd used the word.

The brown-haired dwarf at my side hesitated, clinging to my hand like a small child. I gave it a squeeze, letting him know it was okay. Thorin's sad, exhausted eyes beckoned him over, providing comfort and safety even while he was basically walking to the gallows. The process repeated once more, and while Kili looked comparably less sure of himself, he still let Thorin embrace him with the same care and finality as his brother. A surprised grunt left his lips when the knife made contact, and I bit into my finger to push back a sob. The light came quicker this time, taking him away, back to his home and to his mother. 

And just like that, we were alone.

I could feel my composure slipping by the second. I would break down soon. I didn't want to rush this, not one bit, but I felt Thorin's urgency as my own. Time to get it done. So I pushed away from the wall, forcing one foot in front of the other until I was within arm's reach. Thorin, who had been staring at the ground since the room dimmed once more, suddenly looked up at me with a fire in his eyes I had never seen before. I gasped as he wrapped a steel arm around my waist and tugged me against his chest. His lips covered mine, and I was suddenly submerged in the most vehement and impassioned kiss I'd ever experienced. The fire swallowed me up, and reality washed away in the flood of heat passing from his body to mine. There was only him, and us, and what we could've been, left in the wake. I clung to his neck, trying to push myself as close to him as I could. Damn these stupid jackets and layers! I needed to feel his skin against mine.

I needed my dreams. And I knew I would never get them.

Thorin tossed his head back and away from me, watching me with a lustful, anguished gaze through his lashes. We just stared at one another, panting against the frenzy of the moment. Finally he mumbled in a gravelly voice, "I wish I could've known your body. Felt what that spark in you was capable of when lascivious. Kili was right. You'd be a queen among dwarves and Men."

I felt dizzy with so many emotions overwhelming my mind at once. 

"But it is better that I didn't. I feel I am ripping myself in half by walking away from your kiss and your compassion alone. That is an inebriant I should not indulge in." He released me, leaving me uncomfortably cool, and pressed the scalding knife into my hand. "I trust you, Holly. Wholeheartedly."

But I didn't trust myself. Quaking from the kiss and the shock of watching the boys disappear from this world, I gripped the knife and leaned into his shoulder. I just needed a moment. I needed to catch my breath.

Thorin stroked my back, but indulged me only briefly before he pushed me away and glowered into my eyes. "The longer you wait, the harder it will be. This is what you wanted, Holly. Now do it."

I wanted to scream at him that I didn't. This was the exact opposite of what I wanted, and it was only necessary that this happened. But it would do neither of us any good. There was no use for what might've been. I adjusted the blade in my grip and positioned it right where he showed me. When I verified with him, he nodded. I was almost distracted by the handsome face of this extraordinary man, but his grip on my shoulder pulled me away from getting lost in his blues. 

I gasped and pushed.

He jerked, his eyes tightening. A fast rush of air left his lungs. But he strained to retain his poise, and he gave me a small smile. 

At last, the tears broke out and dripped in a steady stream down my cheeks. My whole body twitched with a sob. I couldn't look down. Warmth flowed onto my hand, and I knew what it was. But I couldn't look. I just kept my focus on him. 

He wanted to say something, but he couldn't get the breath to do it. The light was slowly ebbing out of his eyes, and he struggled to keep them open. But finally, he managed one word.

" _Amralime._ " 

The light filled the cave, illuminating his face just as the life left it. I fell forward when his solid frame disappeared, unable to keep myself up. My ears rang, and my whole body convulsed with nauseating screams I could barely hear.

I've never wept before. I never knew how it was different from any other kind of crying. But I knew, in that moment, I was weeping.

I was empty. His presence was completely gone from the world. I was alone again.

I just murdered the man I loved.

*********************************************

I could feel it. 

His flesh, his heat, his life. It surrounded me. I had never imagined such peace and contentment was possible, but I knew it couldn't get any better than this.

His breath ghosted over my neck in hard pants. The roughness of his beard surely flushed the skin of my shoulder bright red. His heart, strong and fast (and unpierced), beat against my chest. One large hand gripped my naked thigh with almost bruising force, but I paid no attention to it. I sensed the other one suspended above my head. Cold rock against my back blended with the hot one to my front in such contrasting sensations, I was left winded. 

Finally, my sight returned. The small fire glowed against the walls of the cave, and it was still snowing outside the entrance. But none of that truly reached my comprehension. I was up against a wall, my legs wrapped around Thorin's waist, and he kneeled on the ground, feverishly thrusting into me.

The unfamiliar yet intensely pleasurable sensation hit me in one giant wave, and I couldn't help the moan that left me. I clung to his broad shoulders, digging my blunt nails in and letting my head rest against the side of his. He growled in my ear, moving the hand on the wall above my head to my breast. " _G_ _althuna,_ " he murmured, and I didn't need to know the word for it to send more tingles up my spine and to the knot twisting in my belly. 

It was too much. I gripped his hair tightly and screamed into his shoulder as I unraveled. It was an explosion that seemed to go on forever as he continued relentlessly. Eventually, he followed, pinning me to the wall with raspy gasps falling against my neck. My limp body draped around him as he rested back on his heels, holding me against him and steadying himself with a palm on the wall. "Insatiable woman," he whispered, peppering kisses along my jaw.

My entire lower half delightfully ached. This had been one of many times, it seemed. "Just taking advantage of dwarven stamina."

He chuckled, falling back onto our cloaks still laid across the floor and resting me on top of him. Instinctively, I cuddled into the damp, furry chest I laid over, tracing patterns into the skin on the left side. The bliss that followed nearly lulled me into immediate sleep; definitely not the last time, but a break was always good.

" _Yasith_ ," he murmured, and a smile pulled back my lips. Somehow, I knew that one. 

"Husband." The word seemed foreign, but it felt right. So right.

" _Amad._ "

That one made me giggle. "Maybe."

"I cannot wait." He rolled us over, resting my head on a pile of fur and tucking me into his side. His drowsy gaze took in my face, and I did the same. When the urge came, I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his mouth. He smiled and hummed contently. "The love of my life. I am blessed beyond understanding. How could you ever willingly wish to bind yourself to this cantankerous old dwarf?"

"Because..." I traced his lips with my finger. "...the crabby dwarf on the surface has nothing on the gentle, benevolent man beneath it.  _That_ is who I married, and he's worth all the faults that come with him."

He smiled, brushing his nose to mine. "If you say so,  _mizim._ "

I meant every word. And I would do it all over again if it meant I could hold this love in my heart forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This looks like a nice place to end this story.
> 
> Just kidding.
> 
> One or two more chapters left, I think. And they will be coming soon. Love you all for your amazing words of kindness. Now I'm going to go cry in a corner to vent all these feels. Hoo, this was a rough one. XD


	10. Another Path

I went searching for that normal life. I found hell instead.

Every time I closed my eyes at night, I saw that damn cave. But those amazing dreams stopped after I awoke from the most incredible ethereal experience I'd ever had on the cold, hard stone. I never had any passionate, hot memories—memories of a lost time—once I walked back to my truck, alone, and drove home. Instead, blood, slick and warm, covered the floor where we stood and dribbled across the floor until it stained the crisp white snow outside. I'd wake up shaking, sweat covering every inch of my body in a warm, sticky mess. It felt like the blood, _his_ blood. After a solid minute of scrubbing my hands in the sink, I'd realize that it wasn't there. It never had been. 

The knife and my glove were clean when I left the cave.

Eyes. Two pairs of blue, one brown. Lifeless and dull, always staring back at me when I let my mind drift. So unlike what I'd come to know of them. It was sickening, mentally and physically. Nothing I ate stayed down. I'd sit on the bathroom floor afterward, head resting on the cool wooden wall, my shredded voice cracking and squeaking as uncontrollable sobs escaped me. I sometimes woke up there from a dreamless sleep, but I never felt rested anymore. Everything I did was automatic, and I never spared any thought. Coffee never did anything except make me shake. Food tasted dull. The perfect example of base survival.

The house creaked and groaned with the wind so common on a high mountain ridge. Each little sound made me jerk my head up, searching for the lumbering bodies that never could make it through the living room silently. But it was something I knew, deep down, I wouldn't find. But I looked anyway, so desperate that I needed that constant disappointment to remind myself it couldn't possibly happen. I started hating the house.

Eventually, I wanted to pretend they had never been here in the first place. A dream; maybe I did pass out in the snow that first night, and I didn't remember walking home. Chalk it up as some hallucination, that'll do. Nothing could ever quite compare to having someone there, then no longer existing on the same plane. It was impossible, and yet... I couldn't be comforted with the wild idea that, maybe, I would run into them someday. It was conceivable, when someone lived in the same world as you did. But not for me. Maybe I could push that week from my mind, if I tried hard enough, and I could go about my usual routine until some new, life-changing opportunity came along to take its place. He told me to do it, after all. But it wasn't what I wanted. I couldn't ever forget why my life is now irreversibly different. Those incredible men didn't deserve to be forgotten like some fling or classmate. 

And so I resigned myself to being torn apart piece by piece every day. I was trapped, aimlessly puttering on. Just like he told me to.

Working made things better for a time. When I realized that, I hardly left the barn. Dawn until dusk, I worked until my arms shook and my entire body tightened into one sore mess the next morning. It felt so good, though. You know, to feel something that wasn't brought on by the steadily-growing hole in my heart. Of course, I was transparent. Mrs. Harper noticed how entirely devoid of energy I was. She said nothing for a few days. Until one afternoon. She spoke up when she caught me leaning against a support beam on the inside of a stall, biting into my fist when the daily tears caught me in the middle of work. She assumed "boy troubles" had expanded. She was entirely too correct. She wouldn't take just a weak smile to sate her curiosity nor that frustrating concern for me. If I spoke too much, I knew I'd spill everything. I needed to tell someone, but I didn't have that option. No one could know. So I said only what I knew would suffice.

"It's just heartbreak," I downplayed. "You know how it goes. Fresh wound. It'll close up soon." I winced at how monotone I sounded.

She gave me a sickeningly sweet, comforting grin. "Oh, hon. There's no reason to brush it off. Every break takes a little bit of you with it. But it's not the end, I promise you, though it might feel like it. Everything happens for the better. This'll teach you something, and you'll be prepared for next time."

Teach me? Sure, it's taught me something. Life sucks, and it's unfair, and it's pointless to hope for anything nice. You might get it for a time, but it doesn't last. And that's  _life._

"There won't be a next time," I blurted out. And I'm sure she expected me to say something like this. She just didn't know how true it really was. "Not after..." No, there will never be anyone like him. 

This woman had been so good to me. Even in the absence of my own mother, someone I was convinced I didn't need around, Mrs. Harper made sure to fill that void I wasn't aware was there. She was more than a good employer, she and her husband both. How pathetic that it took me my lowest point to figure out what I'd always had. So imagine my disgust in myself when I leaned forward, falling into her embrace, knowing I had never truly thanked her for being willing to offer me it all this time. But I knew she'd catch me and never let the misery lurking in my mind take over.

"It'll get better, sweetie," she whispered in my ear, her strong hands pulling me to her body. "You may always hurt, but it won't break you. You are such a strong woman, living up in that cabin all by yourself. You'll figure it all out. Whatever you need to get through will reveal itself to you in time. Just be patient."

No questions asked. Just complete understanding. 

And she was right. It did get better after that. I constantly ached for my friends, and the love of my life, but eventually, I felt strong enough to smile again. My saving grace was a realization I'd come to after our talk that day. Unconditional care. I knew what it felt like to share my burdens with someone, albeit concisely. But to actually have someone listen and offer help and advice without looking for details or an explanation meant everything to me. Was that what they felt? They always thanked for me giving them a place to stay, for helping them find their way home. I brushed it off as common decency; who would be so cruel as to turn away from someone so desperately in need? But when you're on the receiving end of something like that, the impact is jarring. You expect no one to care, especially when they can't relate or when they don't have a clue about the truth of what's going on. But there they are. There  _she_ was. A light at the end of the tunnel. A guiding light. It was time I took control of my life again.

Everything in the snug, homely little cabin I used to adore repulsed me. The couch in front of the fireplace, the kitchen, the porch. I couldn't enjoy any of it. I didn't want to hate any of it. Certainly wasn't its fault that I wanted to cry every time I saw it. But it wasn't  _home_ anymore.

God, the silence. It used to be my favorite part. Not a peep of highway noise, or the constant honking and thumping base of the inner city life. The neighbors were considerate, and I could enjoy the forest life at night as I stared up at the endless map of stars. All that peace was over now. It was a reminder that something was missing. 

The house wasn't just empty of noise. The space was too much. It had always been a pretty big house for one person, built to accommodate at least three people comfortably during a vacation. Two bedrooms on the bottom floor and the master bedroom upstairs. It was almost perfect for a time, what the four of us had going. A bedroom for each of the boys and, well, my queen mattress would've comfortably fit two. I stared at it sometimes, cursing how cold it was and how I had never known what it was like to sleep in a "warm" bed. I wouldn't ever know.

I couldn't light the fireplace anymore. I would've frozen to death if the power went out again. Houch missed it, laying on the floor in front of the hearth after nudging the tray of wood blocks with his nose. But I couldn't do it. There was no one to talk to in front of it. It just wasn't right.

Nothing was right. So I decided to make it right.

I packed up what few belongings in the house I actually owned (somehow, the bow and collection of arrows made it into that pile, but I don't think anyone would miss it). Not much would fit into my truck, but I'd squish everything I could into the backseat. The front seat would have a furry little drool machine in it. Settling all my affairs took a while, and three weeks after the snowstorm that changed my very existence, another one rolled in. So unusual, but then again, nothing could really surprise me anymore. I should wait, I thought. Let the snow melt before I took off into the unknown. But the heart-wrenching scene of my little log cabin was made even more familiar and shattering than before as snowflakes piled up on the ground. My eyes drifted way too many times to the front door, waiting for a thump, like it had happened before, as if the snow was what triggered it. I needed to leave.

I didn't entirely know where I was going. Possibly the coast. I had family friends down near Wilmington that wouldn't turn me away. The complete change of scenery would do me good. I always enjoyed the little coastal tourist towns and their charms. A couple tanks of gas would get me there in less than a day with this snow.

With all my belongings packed into the truck and the house locked up until my uncle could claim it again, I sat behind the wheel and stared at the cabin through the thick sheet of snow coming down. What a dream this had been when I first moved here. It was perfection, and I couldn't count myself luckier. But like all good things, it has to come to an end. It was time to start fresh. I turned the key and started the drive down the mountain.

Mr. and Mrs. Harper were sad to see me go. But they understood. Mr. Harper called it "young blood" spurring me onto new pastures. I just laughed and agreed with him, sharing a knowing look with his wife. Her hug nearly drew me to tears. I'd visit them, I promised. At some point, when I could make enough money to afford some kind of vacation, I'd be back. And she let me go, telling me with her soft hazel eyes that I didn't have to. I couldn't always do what I was told, though, could I?

And I didn't. Because Thorin told me to live, and I couldn't even do that.

I lost control somewhere on 40, coming up on Black Mountain. My tires locked, and I fishtailed. There was nowhere to go on the curve but off into shoulder, but the icy snow pushed me down the side of the mountain. I grabbed Houch by the collar, pulling him toward me as the truck rolled, but there was nothing after that.

And so ended my journey on Earth, abruptly and unfairly, like so many other people. But death is just another path. I had no qualms with walking it.

And then I thought, "I don't remember hearing about heaven smelling musty." 

My eyes flew open, the cold air painfully rushing into my lungs. It choked me, making me roll onto my side and cough. I waited for the agony I knew would come; it was a long way down the mountain, and my body had surely been broken. There was an ache deep down, a consuming pain stretching all throughout my body. But that faded, and I only felt the sting of frigid rock against my bare skin. There was absolutely no possible way I was flung from the truck and landed somewhere without half the bones in my body shattering and my skin being filleted a thousand different ways. But after that  first minute, I was entirely pain-free, and so very cold. I sat up with a groan and looked around.

No, I'm certainly dead. This has to be one last dream.

The small cavern was just tall enough to stand comfortably in, and wide enough to be a bedroom. Dark grey stone covered each inch of the interior. I looked to the source of the blinding light illuminating the small room, shielding my eyes with my hand against the glare of the snow on the ground outside. Thick firs and pines surrounded the circle just outside. It was daytime with a full blazing sun, but I would recognize this place anywhere. 

There was no possible way this was happening.

Chilling from my spot on the floor, I stood on shaky legs and leaned against the wall to gather my thoughts. And they were scattered. Well, I had to be in Middle-earth. I couldn't have survived the wreck. I knew I was dead. Or that I died, but now I was alive. I looked down at my clothes. My Captain America t-shirt stared back at me, along with my dirt-stained, ripped jeans and black boots. Just what I was wearing in the truck. And, of course, I'd thrown my jacket into the back once the heater kicked in. I wrapped my arms around my torso and rubbed furiously. No use in standing here, freezing to death. I had to find out where I was exactly.

The snow came up to mid-calf when I stepped out from under the roof of the cave, and the cold permeated my boots and straight through my socks. I hiked my legs up high, almost stumbling as I moved through the slippery blanket covering the ground. My breath misted in front of my face; the air was so clean and fresh. Had the air in my world truly gotten so bad that, though I lived in the middle of nowhere, I could immediately tell a difference in a place like this? I breathed in as much as I could before starting off to the left.

I knew I was in Middle-earth, and that had to be  _the_ cave. So that meant Erebor was nearby.

My heartrate jumped, and my giddiness sprouted into a smile. I was going to Erebor.

But the thought jumped to the front of my mind: why did I come here? Gandalf told Thorin that the portal to Earth had been opened because of the importance of his line and the role he had to play for his people. Only significant events opened the bridges between our worlds. So why was one opened for  _me_? Surely it wouldn't be just because I spent some time in the dwarves' presence. That wasn't nearly what I would consider substantial. Did I need to get a message to them? Of what?

I almost laughed aloud at the words floating through my head. This was a repeat of when this all began. I was so ready to accept this. I understood without a doubt that I was in a completely different world than the one I belonged in, and that my death had sent me here just as their deaths had sent them to me. All their stories about the vast world of Middle-earth had come to life right in front of me, and my urge to question  _anything_ about this was nonexistent. And I thought I could live a normal life after our time together, like I'd never been introduced to something no one from home had ever experienced, or taken the leap to talk about it. I could go on and on about the crisp blue sky above me and the rich scent of evergreens topped with snow. Purely nature. It would be hard to miss anything from there after seeing this.

But, no. Oh, Houch.

I bit my lip, trying not to think about the precious little animal that had come into my care all those years ago, always looking up at me with devotion, always there even on my worst days. After all the trouble he'd been through in his short life, I was the one to end it. Knowing me was definitely a fatality.

I passed the opening through the trees on the side of the cliff that I remembered from my dream, gaping in awe at the massive mountain rising up like a spire all by its lonesome. The Lonely Mountain. Never a more fitting name. It wasn't a terribly long way off. If I picked up the pace, I could reach it before I froze to death. Maybe just around sunset. I don't know what I'd do if I was caught out here after dark.

My shivering only intensified as I trudged on for an hour through the forest in what I hoped was the right direction. It was fit to snow again, and I was grateful for the clear skies assuring me that wouldn't happen while I was out here. But I was getting numb, too, and I knew that would slow me down. Whatever manner of creatures that lurked in these woods would be free to take a bite out of me to their leisure. I wouldn't have been in any condition to fight off a wolf or a bear in my usual warm state. 

So I almost faceplanted when I heard the bark. My boot slid through the snow as I prepared to bolt underneath the nearest tree and hope my scent wouldn't show up. Where there was one, there were many, and I'd be torn to shreds. The blood thrummed through my ears as I stopped to listen. Then I heard the neigh, decisively not something I'd expect from wolves. So people. Right. Much better.

"Holly!"

I knew that voice. Rough, ancient, yet carried like a fog horn across the landscape. I whirled around, trying to find where the shuffling in the snow was coming from. Instead of the large beast I expected, however, from within a cluster of trees came a big brown ball of fur with a furious tail and a waggling tongue. My knees gave out and sent me to a kneel. "Come here, boy."

Houch bounded up to me in lumbering leaps, shuffling as close to my midriff as he could. I curled around him, squeezing him in my arms with all the might my shaking limbs could muster. Tears of shame burned out of my eyes; how many more would have to die because of me?

I looked up when the cantering hoof beats stopped just a short distance from me. Out of all the people who could've possibly stumbled across me in this place, I should've known it would be Gandalf. "Fancy meeting you here," I sniffled, keeping my hand on Houch's head as we approached the heaving horse and his rider.

Gandalf squinted at me below the wide brim of his tall, pointy hat. Wizard indeed. "You are the last person I would've expected to find at the other end of this dog's insistent goading. My dear, what on earth are you doing here?"

Oh. Well, there went my idea. "Honestly, I would've expected you to have that answer, considering your bounteous knowledge on all things dimension hopping. You seemed to know a lot the last time we spoke. Thank you, by the way, for that enlightening information."

He slid from the horse's back in a more fluid way than I would expect an old man to be capable of. On his weathered face stretched a sad smile, and his brow narrowed. "I thought of you, when they awoke. The dwarves rejoiced, but I knew the return of their king and his heirs had come at a price. I am so sorry for what you had to do, but I thank you for doing so. It has set things straight here."

I nodded once. Honestly, I didn't want to hear any more about it. I'd made up my mind to put it all in the past as best as I could, forgetting what might've been and trying to see the good in what was. He was right. I did the right thing, even if I lost a piece of myself in the process that I will never be able to get back. "How are they?"

He grinned. "Well. They have spent the last two weeks trying to pretend as if they were never dead. Their wounds have kept them slow and steady, but with a few spells, they are on the mend a little faster than typical. I'm sure it would lift their spirits to see a familiar face."

Thought he'd never ask.

To my great relief, the wizard bundled me up in his scarf and an outer layer from his grey robes and set me on top of his horse. My feet screamed for joy. When he hopped on in front of me, I blew the long strands of hair falling down his back away from my nose, fighting the urge to sneeze. I hadn't expected that he would look any different in this world than he did on Earth, but I guess the long beard and hair would've stood out in the middle of downtown Asheville. With Houch right beside us, we started off in the direction of the Lonely Mountain. As we rode on, I noticed how eerily similar the woodlands here looked to the forests back home. A ping of longing jabbed into my heart at the thought. Someone would find me, if they hadn't already, and what was left of my faithful old pickup. Someone would miss me, grieve me. Maybe, if I could've said goodbye, I'd feel a bit better about this. I wonder if, given the choice to come here, would I have left everyone behind? Not something I wanted to think about really. I kinda feared my answer.

"Am I correct in assuming that something happened that would have sent you here in a similar manner to the dwarves?" Gandalf asked as he brought the horse down to a trot to give him a break from the thick snow. The question was cautious, as if he tiptoed around tripwire.

Actually, I hadn't been hit with the shock that comes with finding out you actually died. Maybe it would come later and what he asked would cause me to hyperventilate. For the time, I just took a breath and replied, "That you are."

"Was it quick?"

"Yeah, it was."

"That's good."

The condolences are much appreciated, fair spellcaster. 

"I cannot say why you would have been brought here rather than be sent to whatever afterlife awaited you in your world."

I snorted. "Maybe you cursed me when you confronted us at the café."

"Doubtful. However, I expected to be spurned by Thorin merely for my interference in this whole affair. He hasn't said a word to me since he awoke, about any of it."

Noting what I did from their encounter on Earth, and how irritated Thorin was by Gandalf's presence alone, I can see how Gandalf would expect to be blamed for what happened. But Thorin's been silent for, what, two weeks? Not even any questions about the portals which I would've immediately jumped the wizard for? Maybe he'd been coping as well as I had. A part of me hoped I could relieve the trauma of it all, because God knew seeing him would set me straight.

The trees steadily grew scarcer and scarcer as we ventured onward, and the land looked marred like it'd been ravaged by a wildfire. Fire-breathing dragon, I reminded myself. Everything looked stark and cold, aside from the snow.

I could tell, as soon as we approached the large gate, that we were in the right place. Rubble lay about the front of the large entrance into the mountain, a gaping, jagged hole leaving it wide open. Something had burst outward, and I certainly didn't want to know how anything could grow that big. Yet it was possible; I remembered the claw marks on the statues from my vision. We dismounted right outside, but my eyes stared inward the whole time. The interior was just as cluttered and wrecked, but I wasn't looking at the rubble. No dream could ever encapsulate the enormity and grandeur sitting in front of me. The carved hall pushed further into the mountain than I ever would've imagined, bringing the whole landmark to scale for me. I thought the Biltmore House was big inside. I don't think I could ever go anywhere on Earth and find something at this level.

"Could use some touching up," Gandalf commented as he led his horse inside, casting a smile back at me. "And I suggest a handkerchief, if you have one. A dragon has roosted in here for several decades, and that is not a mark so easily fixed as stone."

So fascinated by the immense echo from his voice traveling the entire length of the hall, I didn't notice the mop of golden curls pop around the corner until I almost tripped over him. Yes, him. And this certainly wasn't a dwarf. Gandalf noticed our stunned impasse and chuckled. "Miss Holly, I'd like you to meet Bilbo Baggins, endlessly respectable and courageous hobbit of the Shire."

"The way I see it, you translate 'respectable' much too loosely," the little guy replied, giving a laughable but effective scowl to the wizard, as most people seemed want to do. Then he turned to me and stuck out his hand. "A pleasure." As we shook, we studied each other closely. His blue coat matched the surroundings: ripped up and dirty. The rest of him, however, seemed well put-together for someone staying in a place like this. I tried not to focus too long on the feet, as I didn't think he'd appreciate that, but my soul, they were a spectacle. But I was one to talk, I'm sure. When Thorin mentioned "hobbit" that one time, I didn't necessarily picture this, but now that I'd put a face to a name, I couldn't see why I would've ever pictured anything else.

"Right back at you."

He sniffed and wrinkled his nose in cuteness rivaling Fili as he rocked back on his heels. His gaze seemed fixated on one spot on my face. "You're not from Dale, are you?"

"Very perceptive of you, Master Baggins," Gandalf called from where he finished up taking care of his horse. "You will get a thorough explanation of where Holly came from in due time, however, I think there are some who need to see her. If you'd follow me, Holly." 

As the wizard led us further into the depths of the mountain city, I began to recognize a few things. Pillars and statues I had seen before showed up more and more. However, unlike my vision, it was oddly quiet in here. Every little step and even our own breaths were emphasized in the giant space, and I found I wanted to talk to fill the void. However, it wasn't long before we reached our destination. Gandalf took us down a more closed-in corridor with doorways on either side. "Fili and Kili have been confined to their room for the time, though they have been able to walk around some. Don't let them get up too fast, or Oin's hard work will be for naught."

I nodded, perfectly aware that their enthusiasm would drive them to tear their bodies up all over again. A smile found my face; I was going to see my boys again.

When Gandalf pointed me to the correct room, he and Bilbo left me to enter by myself. I rushed through the doorway, Houch at my hip, and stopped just inside. On one of the two small beds set up in the large room, a brown head and a blond one lay, one up on the pillow and the other perpendicular at his feet. Quiet murmurs of small talk came from them, but that stopped abruptly when Kili looked over at me from the headboard with a jolt of surprise shooting him upright. "Holly?"

Tears sprang to my eyes, and all I could do was wave. "Hi."

Fili followed after his brother, looking down his body and locking eyes with me immediately. "Holly!" In much the way Gandalf had warned, he bolted into a sitting position and, unsuccessfully hiding a wince, tried to slide off the bed. "I knew it!"

I ran up to him, holding my hands out. "Whoa, there, tiger. Don't push too hard now." Physically blocking him from rising to his feet, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and squeezed with all the might I felt wouldn't damage him further. The force within his arms was much stronger than I expected it to be, but I guess a hardy little dwarf wouldn't allow a beating by an orc to get the better of him. Against my back, I felt another body press closely, encircling my waist with an equally robust grip. Then I cried. I'd never felt happiness like this.

"I can't believe you're actually here," Kili said, pulling away and carefully sitting on the bed with a hand to his chest. They both guided me to sit between them, someone's thumb swiping away the tears on my cheeks. Houch sat down at Kili's legs, looking up at him with his wide grin as he got the pets he asked for. "Did Gandalf bring you through?"

I shook my head, grasping both their hands and bringing them into my lap. I'd like an anchor for reality so I don't fizzle away to my meagre Earth existence. "No. But he found me where I appeared."

"Then how did you...?"

"I think you know how, Kili." Ever the observant one, Fili was. I turned to look in his gentle eyes and found empathy. "Are you all right?"

I nodded. "Car crash. It snowed again after you guys left. Went a little too fast on the interstate and slid down the mountainside. I didn't feel anything." Whoa, that was...strange to finally say aloud.

"Always seemed like a dangerous thing. Considering what you told us about it, I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner."

"Yeah, me too."

An arm enclosed around me from the right once again, and I smiled, leaning my head against Kili's when he dropped it onto my shoulder. "I'm sorry."

I pressed a kiss to his wild hair, patting the first hand I could find in the entanglement of lanky limbs. "I'm fine, honey. We both are now."

"I guess Houch had to come with you," Fili commented, leaning over to give the dog a scratch under the chin.

"I'm a mystery, according to Gandalf, but him? I have no idea why he would ever cross over."

"You two are too deeply imbedded into our lives now," Kili explained with an innocent show of wisdom. "You're a good friend, and you have a place with us. That's why you were brought here."

I'm sure it was more to it than that; magic didn't account for subjective feelings, if I knew  _anything_ about magic (and I'd learned more than I ever thought I would). But it was as good an explanation as I could ever come up with, so I decided to take it at that. Still, the dog? Maybe magic has splash damage.

"And I don't think you'll be returning," he continued, working hard not to smile too widely. "We don't exactly have many vehicles that you could die in a crash in, so there's no way you could return in the same way you were brought here."

Wow. That was a very good point, and something that hadn't crossed my mind. I guess I was really stuck here, no matter what. "Should probably keep me out of wagons, then. I'll find a way. You watch."

He winked. "Noted."

"Must've been pretty violent," Fili mused, "for it to have ended so quickly and left you with that."

I squinted. "With what?"

"The scar, on the left side of your face. It doesn't look too bad, but you definitely took a hit to leave you with something like that."

"Mirror," I requested, tracing my cheek with my fingers as if I would feel it.

Kili leaned over to grab a knife from the nightstand that looked newly sharpened and clean, and I looked into it. The angle of the blade distorted my reflection, but I could see it. A long, straight scar ran from my cheekbone to my jaw. It wasn't jagged like some of their scars were, more like a clean slice of something thin. Probably a shard of glass from the windshield. I wondered what the rest of my body looked like. "Oh, no, I'm not pretty anymore," I commented dryly, handing the knife back to Kili. "How terrible." 

"Oh, come on," Fili snorted, booping my nose with his finger. "You're a battle-scarred lass of a heroic tale full of bravery and hardship."

You could say that again. Actually, it was kinda cool.

Kili leaned forward to look around me. "I think you're supposed to say 'no, you're still beautiful,' if my understanding of women is correct."

"Once Uncle finds out you're here, I'm sure he'll make sure that's taken care of. He's missed you terribly. Hasn't spoken a word, but that's just the way he is. He'll come alive once he sees you."

That explanation sounded better than Gandalf's, but it still didn't sit well with me. "Where is he?"

"Down the hall. Should be working in his study with Balin or Gloin. Let's go get h—" Fili stopped just as he moved to get up, and we all froze where we were.

Thorin stood in the doorway, staring us down with an entirely unreadable expression. I broke out of my imaginary confines, taking a breath where I had lost it upon first laying eyes on him, and stood. He followed my every move, looking entirely like a deer in headlights. I couldn't say I looked any different. My heart drummed wildly. A second time, we've met after I thought I'd lost him forever, and I wondered how many times I could do this until my body just gave out. I hoped this was the very last time. It had to be. I was here, and, according to Kili, I wasn't going anywhere. I took a step toward him. "Hey, babe."

His face changed suddenly, contorting into something resembling fear. Something I'd never seen before from this fearless man. It stopped me in my tracks. He took a step back, shaking his head. 

"What?" I whispered, trying not to cry. What was going on?

He swallowed, wide eyes tracking every inch of my body. When I stepped closer again, he moved away. Finally, his lips formed coherent words. "It was a dream."

I worked to calm my shaking hands, searching his face for some clue that would tell me why he was acting like this. All I wanted to do was fall into his arms and never get out, but he looked so afraid. "What are you talking about, Thorin?"

He flinched as if struck, shaking his head. Before bolting out the door and out into the hall, he whispered, "You are not real."

I watched him go, rooted to the spot with ice forming in my blood. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. Those words, sharp as a blade, ran through my mind over and over and cut deeper and deeper as they went. I vaguely noticed Kili, as gingerly as he could, dart out of the room and down the hall, but a door slammed shut just a second after he disappeared, echoing into the room and my ears. A soft pair of hands wrapped around my arms and pulled me back to the bed, sitting me down once more. I complied, fixated on one spot on the ground as I tried to revive my brain. This shouldn't be happening. 

"He hasn't been the same since we returned," Fili murmured into my ear, an arm curled around my shoulders and tugging me against him. "Distant, more quiet than usual. Going through the motions. A dream? I can believe that. Our time spent with you seems almost like a dream. That's what it felt like waking up anyway, trying to discern whether or not any of that actually happened or it was all our imaginations. Then Kili mentioned you, and everything came back like a memory, as it should have. We didn't dare broach the subject with Uncle. He seemed so lost. He was in denial, I suppose. Still is. He will come around, Holly. Give him time."

I never expected this would happen. God, I shouldn't have expected _anything_. I drove a knife through his heart, for goodness' sake!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd planned to make this the final one and end on 10, but I'm going to have to make it uneven and do 11. *sigh* Oh, well. ;D
> 
> So much angst. This story was supposed to be funny! All it's made me do is cry.


	11. Of One Heart

"This is normal, Holly," Gandalf, with a slight lilt of exasperation in his voice, assured me. "Absolutely nothing to be alarmed by. He hasn't changed one bit."

And he thought that was supposed to be reassuring? While I knew all that, and didn't doubt a thing he was saying, I couldn't help but ask myself if I knew what exactly that meant, and what it would mean for the future.

Because that obstinate, hotheaded, suspicious old dwarf had locked himself in his bedchambers, speaking to no one and allowing not a soul in, like some pouty teenager. And that, I realized with a sense of incredulity, was who I wanted to marry. What a mess.

My frustration was shared. Fili and Kili looked about ready to tear their hair out, which would've been a damn shame. Instead of immediately going into a panic like I did, because that man has somehow managed to make me lose all my faculties by doing absolutely nothing to me, they started puffing like steam trains. Kili even marched down the hallway to bang on his door, demanding in the scariest display I have ever seen from that sweet boy that he open up and actually look at me for more than five seconds.

"He's always been wary of magic," grumbled a dwarf who had entered the room not long ago and struck me entirely dumb with how little familiarity I had with these guys. When Fili and Kili mentioned their extensive company while journeying to reclaim Erebor, and the names Balin and Dwalin came up, I hadn't entirely imagined who I would find holding them. Balin could have probably blended right in with Happy and Sleepy, but Dwalin? By my guess, he'd eat the rest of the bunch.

"And you haven't?" Kili scoffed, literally blowing smoke now that he had his intricately-designed pipe. He hadn't stopped since we walked into what they told me was the kingdom's council room.

"Never said I didn't."

"What magic are we witnessing, though?" Balin asked in his statesmanlike tone he'd been fond of using this whole meeting. If that didn't give away his position in the ranks, his clothes would have. He turned to me, a kind eye above his crisp white beard. "What's your story, lass?"

I tilted my head toward the brothers. "Nice to know I wasn't worth mentioning to your friends and family."

Fili shrugged. "We said a great deal. I don't think they paid attention to our description of you so much as they wanted to know about where we'd been."

"Mother was interested," Kili chimed in.

"Holly is from the world where the souls of the king and princes were sent to upon their imminent deaths," Gandalf explained, and I was more than happy to let him handle the specifics, as I was nowhere near qualified to give a Ted talk about this. "It is because of her that they were able to find their way back to Middle-earth."

"So she is the girl that sheltered you?" Dwalin asked of the boys, simultaneously eyeing me up. Another dwarf my height, and equally intimidating as the other one. I just stared back; shouldn't let them smell fear, after all.

"A fine home," Fili said, handing me a grin that I returned. "Warm and dry in the middle of a snowstorm. We'd have been lost without her, truly."

"It was by her hand that the three of them could escape her world and return here." The wizard like to embellish, I've learned, and not in any way I'd like. Can I make him stop?

I suddenly had two sharp dwarf eyes glaring pointy daggers at me. Dwalin, arms cross over his wide chest, turned to face me. "What does 'by her hand' mean?"

Ugh.

Gandalf took a step toward me, which I felt disconcerting considering the amount of dwarven steel in the room. "The only way that their souls could have been returned to their original bodies was if they were released from the ones they had inhabited in her world in the same way they were taken here."

"Yes," I answered the puzzled, yet threatening head-cocking, "I had to kill them...him."

"It was the only way," Kili jumped in.

"You put their lives in the hands of a girl who had no weapons experience?" Dwalin growled at Gandalf in a fit I’d entirely expected.

"It was the only way," the old man barked back. "And as you can see, she was perfectly capable of the task. She had every reason to desire it done efficiently and appropriately."

"Can't you ever speak straight, wizard?"

Of course, as I remained the open book I'd always been, someone was paying enough attention to me to notice when I glanced toward my feet, probably with cheeks glowing bright pink. When I looked up again, I caught Balin's scrutinizing stare and noticed the exact moment he realized what Gandalf was hinting at. I anticipated disgust, to say the least; it didn't take a genius to know that a king forging a relationship with someone outside of his own race would not be received well amongst his people. I hadn't just been talking about Middle-earth when I said I didn't belong in his world. All I found in the old dwarf's eyes, however, was surprise. The shock would subside later, I bet, and be replaced with derision. But his warm face and diplomatic demeanor probably wouldn't allow me to see it.

Dwalin, though a little slower, wasn't so witless as to completely miss our split-second exchange. He, however, wasn't so keen on keeping his thoughts a secret. "You can't be meaning what I think ya mean."

"Holly's home wasn't the only place Thorin was invited." Gandalf pinned me with a smile.

"Well, don't make it sound like that." Even though, where my mind went, the sexy brute was more than welcome.

The balding dwarf didn't seem too happy, but he hadn't made a fuss quite yet. Instead, he folded his arms tighter and pouted. Yep, the Viking look-a-like actually stuck his lower lip out. "So why'd he bar you out?"

"You know, if I knew that, I'd have found a way into his room and dragged him out by the ear." Because, while I wanted to blame his behavior on our last moment together and the nauseating way it ended, that smile as he faded away was still plastered to the back of my eyelids. I expect anyone to have some ill feeling toward the one who deliberately put them through pain like that, but I had to keep reminding myself of our circumstances.

"None of us would've expected her to end up here," Fili explained, "as, according to Gandalf, the only way to cross worlds is through an extreme event. We held no hope that we'd ever see her again. The shock of her showing up here must've hit him hard."

"You think she's...?" Dwalin trailed off, eyebrows jumping as he caught his brother's eye.

"I'd put money on it," Kili said without hesitation. "Why else would she have been sent here and not died naturally in her world?"

"A keen observation, Kili," Gandalf applauded.

"What?"

Fili looked at me and grinned. "Best we let Thorin fill you in. Once we can pull him from his room."

I don't think he needed to. I had a bit of an idea, and my heart thumped wildly at the very thought. "I want to try it."

"Try what?"

"Getting him out. He's been spooked, and I don't think it's a good idea to let him sit around for too long with whatever's going around in his head. I know I should trust you all about him; hell, I've only known of your existence for a few weeks, and I have no true claim to knowing _him._ But I'm not comfortable with doing nothing when I'm the reason he's like this. Let me see if I can coax him out."

Gandalf nodded. "You're right. But be cautious, dear one. I know he would not attempt to hurt you, as he is too virtuous a dwarf to let any harm befall a woman, let alone one he has taken to. However, he is confused and defensive. Little can be known of how he may react."

Even when he thought I had bad intentions for him and his nephews when we first met, he never once went after me in a mindless fit of rage or anything else. No, I don't think he'd do anything at all to me. It was _for_ him that I was worried. So, with an escort in both the boys to show me the way back to the royal hall, I approached the wide, steady doors leading to the king's chambers. I tried the gold handle, jiggling it a bit to see if he'd left it unlatched when the knocking stopped. It didn't budge, and I heard no sound from inside. I turned to the other two.

“Don’t stop,” Fili encouraged with a nod. “His head’s thick, but you know that. If anyone’s capable of getting through to him, it’ll be you. Just don’t give up.”

“No chance of that happening,” Kili grinned. “Never known someone who could match him stride-for-stride the way you do. He’s lucky to have found you.”

“All right, enough of that, both of you.”

They both gave me a wink before they turned to slip back into their room at the behest of their kin, who worried for their health after all this excitement. I turned back to the door and took a deep breath, pounding my fist against the door. "Thorin, it's me. I'm here. Can you please let me in?"

No sound whatsoever. I wondered if he had gotten out and locked it behind him, or if there was a secret passage leading to his rooms that he’d escaped through. There didn't seem to be a soul in there. But those two were right. I wasn't going to be deterred that easily.

I knocked again, hopefully louder as the force I used rattled through my arm. "Thorin, open up. Come on. I'm not a dream, okay? I never was. Remember holding hands? That felt real, didn't it? That whole week did." I leaned against the door, gripping the handle. "I couldn't do what you asked, you know. I couldn't forget any of you. God, Thorin, I've never felt anything like that in my life. There was no way I'd ever be able to forget it just like that. Not after all we went through. Look, I'm...I'm sorry I had to do what I did. I didn't want to. But you knew that, didn't you? You told me that you accepted it." I bit my lip, trying not to let my voice waver. "But I know it couldn't have been easy to face down a blade again, willingly letting yourself be...killed, no matter if you knew where you'd end up. That thought didn't help me either. I've never in my whole life done anything that hard, and I know that's not saying much compared to what you've been through, but it's true. I felt it so hard, and I felt you leave, and I thought I'd gone with you. I realized what it was like to survive, but not live." I laughed, a horribly wet sound since my eyes had begun to drip. "I couldn't do that either. I didn't live. I'm so bad at taking orders. Can't fulfill them even when I want to."

I felt it before I heard it. The gentle click of the lock vibrated through the handle where my fist washed out white from my death grip. It didn't move, but I took it as a sign, and immediately pulled it down and pushed the door in with all my might. It budged just enough to let me in the room and, wiping a hand across my face, I slipped inside. The sound of the door closing as I leaned back against it echoed through the chambers, then I stood in silence interrupted only by the crackling of a fire across the room. The space was everything I'd imagine a king would repose in after a hard day's work, but I didn't take the time to dwell on anything. In front of me, standing in the middle of the room on the dark red rug strewn across the stone floor, was the King Under the Mountain.

The cloak he'd had on when he entered the boy's chambers was gone, leaving him in nothing but a simple bone-white shirt, trousers, and his boots. His hair was wet and a bit disheveled, but nowhere near a bird's nest. His back was to me, arms hugging his body tightly as he stared into the flames. I took a leap, tip-toeing as quietly across the floor as I could. He was right there, so close I could smell the soap he'd used in his bath. The pine scent I'd been so enticed with was there, too, always present. His heat begged me to come closer, and the sheer thought of what it would be like to be wrapped up in it again took me back to my dreams. How could it be possible to want someone this much?

I couldn't hold back. I reached out and touched his arm, telling myself not to pull away when he flinched. But he didn't jump far, and I curved my hand around his shoulder and squeezed. Solid, as I remembered. Powerful. I stepped around him to stand at his front. His raven hair fell forward, unchecked, and I reached up to brush it back and tuck it behind his ear. His face was shadowed, tired and far away. Then he looked at me. It was almost as if he looked right through me, expecting me not to actually be there. But the moment he finally realized I was there, I could see the shift in his weary blue eyes. The spark of light I had watched dim as the portal stole him away from me. He came back to life in an instant, a rush of air leaving his chest as his lips soundlessly formed my name. I nodded, suddenly feeling like I was walking on air.

"It's me, Thorin. I'm here."

He nodded, the action growing in intensity as it struck him. He lunged forward, and I was quite literally swept off my feet as he pulled me into the most satisfying and desired embrace I'd ever gotten in my life. His breath stuttered against my neck, hands roaming everywhere they willed, and I let him. I did exactly the same, sharing his need to _touch_. Because how else would I know if this was another dream? But those weren't dreams, I realized. They were visions of the future, a future we could have now. I was where I belonged.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, the words brushing across my ear. We pulled away at the same time, and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What for?"

Troubled, his brow furrowed. "For putting you through that. For ever entering your life and disrupting it. You were better off with your simple path, uninterrupted by a dwarf who had no right to even receive life again. I should not have taken anything from yours. You should never have had to know me."

Each word etched a painful slit into my heart, because as I watched his face, I realized he believed it all. I clasped both hands on his cheeks, rubbing my thumbs over the edge of his beard. "I would do it all again, Thorin. Every bit. Even if I had known I would lose my life, never to regain it here, I would've still done it. You have no idea what you've done to me, you insufferable dwarf. You've shown me how good it feels to have someone there for you, to know that someone cares. I've never experienced love before, and you're the biggest idiot I know if you think I'd ever give up knowing what that's like."

I couldn't even care about the fact that I'd literally just confessed everything to him then, because his face was worth it. Happiness, relief, bewilderment, and love all combined to create the most handsome visage my wildest fantasies couldn't dream up. Then it was pressed to mine, blowing me away with a mind-numbing kiss. I sank deeply into it, and into him, and let all the longing that had festered in me these past weeks come forward in a sob.

It was so perfect. This man with all his flaws and blemishes was perfect.

"I'm sorry," were the first words out of his mouth when ours parted, his large hand slipping into my hair and threading through the locks.

"What now?" I whined, desperately wanting to go back to what we were doing.

He chuckled. "For shutting you out."

I shook my head at him, taking his hand and leading him toward the sofa next to the warm fire. "Don't be silly. I startled you."

"Don't make excuses for me. I should know better." As we sat with our legs and shoulders pressed against the other's, he played with my smaller fingers in his lap. "I truly thought you were a dream."

"Have you been walking around that way since you got back?"

He smirked. "No. I mean I thought our time in your world was a dream. It was...too good to be anything but. To have known the joy I received from meeting you, finding you, especially when I knew I didn't deserve it after the actions I performed leading up to my death, it wasn't something I could trust myself on. You know of my madness that drove me to see deceit and enemies that weren't there."

I nodded. "You defeated it."

"Did I? It consumed me, even when I knew what it was I had to resist. I was not prepared for its impact. I wasn't strong enough. Who is to say it will not take me again? I just knew it had, giving me visions of a life I want and taunting me with it just out of my reach. Fili and Kili never mentioned anything, and honestly, I wouldn't have let them continue if they did. I was prepared to accept the fate I'd been dealt since I was young: true happiness is not mine to have."

It hit me. I knew my purpose here then. I had to show this man that, no matter what he had done that he thought should be rewarded with nothing but misery, he still deserved a life full of things to be proud of. If he allowed me, I knew I could give him that. I had the power to fulfill any desire he had. That was what it meant to be his One.

I tossed myself into his lap, giving mind to his healing injuries only when it was too late. But he didn't seem to care, pulling me tightly against him and meeting my lips when I clamored for his. It was a long exchange, this one, but slow and sweet. I hoped everything I had come to realize in that moment would be conveyed to him. I sealed my silent vow in those kisses. After a time, we stopped to catch our breaths, our heads pressed together.

His thumb brushed over my fingers, and he watched the movement until the urge to look up into my eyes struck him. "You died, didn't you? To have been brought here?"

I nodded, knowing that thought would never hit me as I expected it to. In my eye, there was nothing but life ahead of me.

"Did you suffer?" he whispered, pulling my hand to his lips and pressing a kiss to it.

I shook my head.

He took a deep breath. "Good." He hugged me tighter. "I do not want to be selfish—"

"Impossible."

He grinned. "I am glad you're here, even under the circumstances that brought you here."

I pecked his cheek, clutching his shoulders and clothes. "So am I." Even if it had been painful, this, this, was worth it.

**************************

Erebor took quite some time to rebuild after being pillaged by a dragon and assaulted by a war that nearly took the lives of its king and the heirs to its throne. However, the impressive flood of dwarves returning to their home after decades of being away made the process so much smoother. Some scars on the grand stone walls could not be buffed out right away, and they remained a grave reminder of what happened, but no one despaired over them. Ever optimistic, the dwarves took it as something to be proud of, a symbol of their hard work.

I met the whole Company of Thorin Oakenshield along the way, and what a group. So many unique faces and walks of life, I couldn't imagine how Thorin had coordinated all of them in their one, nearly impossible goal. But they were so welcoming after hearing my story, you'd have thought they knew me their whole lives. They became so comfortable around me, I was subjected to hearing of things I'd much rather have gone on my merry way never knowing. As far as entertainment went, I knew where I needed to go to get it. Their jolliness slacked when Bilbo left, Gandalf leaving with him to escort him back to his home many hundreds of miles away. Gandalf promised to drop in some time, and Bilbo pledged continuous communication with all of them, but I knew they'd be missed.

I got to meet Dis, Fili and Kili's mother, just as they had expressed their desire for me to. She was as lovely as they described. The strength that Thorin went on about that day was there in the way she held herself, a steadfastness against all that had faced her family. She was certainly someone to strive to be, and I could tell she influenced her sons and brother a great deal. She welcomed me as enthusiastically as the rest, thanking me for taking in her family. Through her, I learned what I needed to know about living in Middle-earth, parted from the technology I'd become dependent on. Our relationship only grew rapidly afterward.

The Lonely Mountain came first, and I expected that. So many dwarves became dependent on it. It was vital that the kingdom be revived enough to sustain itself and start repaying debts. Once that was done, Thorin and I could focus on us. Our wedding came quick because, let's be honest, there was only one way this thing could go, so why not just get a move on? On top of everything I had to get used to, I suddenly became a wife, and to a king. But its perks far outshined its pitfalls. A wonderful man in my husband could do that easily.

One day, I surprised him.

“You dreamt of me?”

He was a little confused as to why I decided to pull him out of the mountain on the anniversary of when I had dropped into Middle-earth, especially when a quick accumulation of snow had dusted the ground. So I told him about how he had taken over my dreams even before I knew he was in my heart. Every little detail came back to me clearer than any memory, and I realized that I wanted to actually make it one instead of a vision. Every single part.

“Oh, don’t give me that,” I scolded him, tugging him along by the hand at a little faster pace. Of course, he would much rather we spend this occasion in our warm, cozy chambers with a crackling fire and our bed piled high with furs. But I was determined, so I overrode his resistance. “What makes you think I would’ve told you, especially since we hadn’t gotten together when they started? Would it have made a difference?”

“Yes. I would have stayed with you, no matter how insistent you were in sending me back here. It would’ve brought validation to my own experiences and my conclusions afterward.”

I turned to him, cocking my head to the side. “Your own experiences?”

“In your dreams, I told you that you were my One. Just as you were given visions, so was I. It was our bond. I felt it immediately. As if I would’ve told you _that._ I had just died.”

I nodded. “That did put a wrench in a lot of things.” I suddenly smiled at him, tucking myself against his side and threading my arm through his. “And what did you dream of?”

“A few more adventurous things than having you up against a wall in a cave during a snowstorm. Now I know why you’re so fond of that.”

Heat flashed through my body. To say our marital intimacy had been influence just a tad would be an understatement. He’d made a few requests himself. Now I know why. “How salacious of you.”

“You’re one to talk.” We both knew who had control in the bedroom.

“I also dreamt of walking through Erebor with you, as we are now. Exploring its halls with you, my wife, at my side. My two greatest loves in one place. It was everything I could ever need.”

There’d been plenty of that, too, even before we were married, and they were some of the most romantic dates I’d ever been on. And what do you know? Thorin’s actually a big flirt.

“It is a reality I thank Mahal for every day.” He pressed a kiss to my temple, something he was very fond of.

I was, too. So I did to right back. “I love you.”

He grinned widely. “And I love you.”

The flakes grew larger and heavier within just a moment, and I pulled him along again. “Come on. We’ve got a good ways to go. And I have plans to accomplish.”

“And what exactly would those be?” he smirked.

I leaned toward his ear, filling him in, because I hadn’t told him every single detail of the dreams. When his eyes grew wide and his pace increased, I knew I had his attention, laughing as I became the one to be pulled along.

He smiled so much now. Judging by the reactions of his friends and kin, this was a new development, and I could believe their wonder to be genuine. I was mesmerized by the beauty behind it. Real smiles achieved wonders to a once solemn existence. I was on my way to fulfilling that vow.

Then, a year after our marriage, I told him about the little life that we had created, nestled snugly within me, and I knew I'd done it. I'd made him truly happy, and simultaneously found what I'd been looking for myself. Solitude was far in the past. I had all the joy I could ever want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote the first chapter to this during a little moment of indulgence back in November, I never once thought to make it into anything bigger and post it online, nor did I even imagine it would have a following of this magnitude and enthusiasm. It's been so much fun to see how many people have enjoyed this and expressed wanting more, and I've had a great time writing it. So, as I've got the last snow falling outside, we're going to close out this winter series with the happy ending I wish our three favorite boys could've gotten and a big thank you to everyone who commented and gave kudos. Love you all so much! <3
> 
> ~Owl


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